CaliForNia LuV

Ohhhh the excitement! So ok OMG how many of you have had your head in the sand and have NOT been paying attention to what is going on in the financial world??? OMG! Hello! iHave!
So ok, when Lehman Brothers Holdings (LEH) announced that they were having problems who sold ALL their stock before RED Monday came? Oh fuckin yeah! I said it...iLuv hearing the advice on TV, "the stocks will go up, people just need to ride it out..."

Ummmm yeah, that sounds very wise, educated and....oh wait! Who's are we talking about here? Cuz my boys will come home if they see trouble on the front...they will not do the Bush thing and "hang around"...nope my dollars make cents! They know when to come back home. And when to recruit more friends ^_^

So, lucky me I did "OK" this month in the NYSE. Well enuf that when I land in LA, I'll have my luxury car and drive to the Ritz-Carlton. Pop a bottle of Bolli and sip. *aaaaaahhhhh.....tastes good!*. So this trip is going to be fun and hopefully bring some closure to this huge chunk of my heart. Ok, so Marlon and I had like stopped communicating for like a month...after 3 days of not hearing from him I was thinkin "Huh...ok, He'll call later"...3 days --> week...ummm, WTF? one week --> two weeks "Aight...fuck this nigga, I'm done!" Unbind, Unleash, Relinquish, Release..
week two --> week 3 listen to Allure & 112 all cried out....put myself through this misery and then it dawned on me. Fuck this! If I can't be happy with him...then I'll be happy without him. Week 4 - Listened to MJB - Just Fine. That weekend I got an e-mail from him. It was poetic but there was a line in there that upset me and no matter how I read it I can't see what "he meant"...: But some of us must suffer and sacrifice for our axis to continue on its natural cycle. Therefore, I sacrificed my connection to you knowing that I enjoyed your company, your conversations, your heart, and mostly your spirit

Now I'm reading this e-mail with tears down my eyes and I see this in there and thought. OMG! There it is...I'm free! I experienced release...the shackles were unleashed! So I didn't reply to the e-mail because I thought to myself....Huh..well if someone wants to suffer and sacrifice, who am I to interfere with that? So I got a txt 4 days later and was like, Ok lets get this over with. So I wasn't upset...I was cool n calm and called him up. Left a message with him to give me a buzz

So here's the deal...I can't put myself through that again. I want more than a friendship. I can't have a relationship where i'm 80/20 or 20/80. We talked a lot and in the end I told him that I wanted a serious relationship. If he was here in DC this wouldn't be an issue. We would be together and live happily ever after. This isn't the case...and I can't help but me.

I'm normally an optimistic person and smile a lot. But I'm not going to lie...I think this trip to Cali is going be just what I need. A dose of reality. When the trip is over with I will go home alone. So I'm telling you guys before I tell him that this is how it is. I have to withdrawl my offer. If he decides to move to VA, and I'm not involved with anyone we can start dating and see where it goes. We'll see what happens...I was gonna fly in at night and do dinner with him. This left me with an unpleasant feeling of depending on him. Now here is some hypocracy for you...I told him to trust me, that I would not let him fall....Yet i have this feeling of unsecurity...uncertainty going there...and if something freaks me out or pisses me off I need to depend on me. I've got to depend on me. Would I like to think that if I close my eyes and fall he would catch me? Of course, duh! But I feel that I put more of an effort than he does. I mean he knows that when he is in VA he has a place to stay. I don't get that vibe with him. This trip will help me understand if I'm wrong....BODY LANGUAGE!

I'm not gonna go blinded by love. I'm going to pay attention. And again most likely get closure. My cousin's bday is Friday so I'm gonna see what he wants to do. If I don't link up with Marlon on Friday that is totally cool! I wanna go to CityWalk anyways! LOL! Hope you guys have a fantastic weekend! I WILL! LA! TOMMY BURGERS!!! w00t w00t!!! Tacos off chevy chase! (Glendale, CaLi! u know wassssup!)

AWESOME weekend

This weekend was great. Thursday night I was pretty whipped and had no desire to go out. I had grabbed bout a weekends worth of food from happy hour (thanks ITEQ!) so that took care of bfast n lunch friday. Friday I wanted to go house hunting...the weather was crappy and iLuv lookin at properties when the weather isn't great (look at props when the weather sucks or if its raining hard! Yes! find those leaks!!!)

So mummy didn't know where she hid her mls key so ummm yeah, no mris access for me! lol! So I saw a couple props from the outside then hung out with my friend tiff. Ok so en route to my friend tiff's place EMC calls for an interview...sSHIT! Pull the FuCk ova! LOL! So I did the interview on the phone with an engineer and did very well. OMG guys! This job would be a senior slot over diff agencies with the dept of labor. Sooo HAUTE ;-D

Ok, so after doing fairly well with that interview, they said a face-face would be coming soon! Cool, so heading over to my friend tiff's place we meet up head to Tau Tau for some good füken chinese and then to potomac mills (Ugh! I h8 going south of spgfd). So while at PM i get another interview phone call for a position that would get my clearance upgraded again! I told the dood ok, im at PM so it may be noisey. OMG, aced that interview too! Setting up a Face-Face. I told both of them friday is a no-go as I am going to LA.

LA will be cool....I need to set some things str8 with my possible other half (that's a different blog tho). So hung out with my best friends partied at their place. Well we actually went to my friends of 16years two blocks over (distance rocks) and got drunk over there...my poor...poor friend Chris doesn't really drink and got roughly introduced to Vodka red bulls. Yummy! So guess who was worshipin the pocelain god this weekend? w00t w00t! not me (Go Dirty!)

Saturday came and I was ready for King's Dominion...I only had to bring three peeps and we'd leave at my place by 6pm to get there by 8 and ride as many rides as possible b4 11pm (when they close the rides down). It was cool, a park full of gays...GIMME GIMME GIMME! So Rob was good, he got by 15mins early. Cool! Took care of parking and then I get a txt from Christina sayin "I'm gonna b a little late! Gimme til 7".

Ok this is NOT cool...NOT COOL! I compromised and thanked her for makin me look like an asshole by givin her till 630. So I was hungry. Rob and I made a taco hell run and ate. I told Rob we're leavin at 645 no matter what. So 645 came, I got the phone call and told her to meet us down there.

I told Rob, this is why I don't have friends! And I'm totally cool with that. I have less disappointment in people. Really how much respect do you have for a friend if you think you can waltz in an hour late? None what so ever! If you have issues (family, personal, or whatever) you politely cancel and say "Let's make it up later". The avenue she went put me in a spot and makes me look like an asshole. Well we left and she turned around not wanting to drive 3 hours for the park. I told Rob that I wasn't going to get upset about this and will deal with it Monday, or right now as it were. So let's see...two weeks ago I'm a dick for not letting her stay in my condo Tues - Sat, get an e-mail wishing me bad karma and this weekend nothing but disappointment.

This is bogus, now before I paint this picture of all the negative sides of Christina I will end it with this: She has a big kind heart, is spontaneous and if it looks fun she'll do it with you. If you have a problem she will listen to you, stand by your side (even if you're wrong) and give generally speaking good advice. That is her good side. It's the child like behavior that boggles me down, yet I enjoy her youthful outlook on life.

Ok so after that lil bit of drama we head to the park....CHEESE!

Nice shot! iHad no idea the group of people we'd see there. I knew that Cam would be there Rob prolly would too! *Pssssh* they brought the DCBoyz wit 'em! I could name maybe 5/6 guys in this pic, but all of them were TONS & TONS of fun! I was laughin~n~smilin all night. Good people, good friends (*MUah- Cam & Rob*), good times.

I think the longest line I had was 10 mins long. How fükin fabulous was that? iLuv'd it!!!

Saw a couple other people that I knew there and then @ like 1am headed out to the hotel

The boys rented a sleuth of rooms and we had sum drinks and then I was ready for food. We had a denny's across the street....LETs DO IT! Ok, we could've had denny's or sum truck stop diner food (luv u robbie). I gives a fuck, both places had french toast (w00t w00t!). So me cam and rob/rob were on mission operation: feed me. We had a nice lady Evelyn serving us and iLuv'd her facial experessions! She rock'd we ate had sum conversation about WTF was it? G4...blah blah blah....playstation, xbox...ummmmmm i don't know! I play wii fit! lol! and mario kart 5 times....I can get down with that! LOL! I started talkin bout Lehman Brothers Holding and then all of a sudden it was time to go (Dammit! I wanted to talk stocks! lol!)

Didn't wanna cramp n e one so me n rob headed back to superNOVA. Very few cops on the roads (thank-you those who took the hit for us) and we made it back in good time.

My weekend rocked, and I'm ready for LA. Go Whitney!!!

Ooooooh...How will I know (Don't trust your feelings)...How will I know? How will I know (Love can be deceiving) How will I knooooow? How will I know if he really loves me? I say a prayer with every heart beat

I fall in love whenever we meet

I'm asking you what you know about these things

How will I know if he's thinking of me

I try to phone but I'm too shy (can't speak)

Falling in love is all bitter sweet

This love is strong why do I feel weak

He loves me...he loves me not...he loves me...

Whats up guys...back from the weekend. Well I was on my way to work and got texts from Cali. The message caught my attention because it had said something about me being selfish. My eyes were shocked. So after walking to the office I decided that we needed to talk. The talk was going to end what we had started. So I got the voicemail and asked that he call me back when he gets a sec..

So I got the call and stepped outside the office. I said that I didn't appreciate going through the pain and suffering and that I had gone through enough of it with the loss of my family members and grieving. Two totally different pages...his pain and suffering was coming from my not calling/texting him. That was something else we had to discuss. We had a miscommunication however if you feel that way then call me, txt me or write me. A relationship that we have MUST go 60/40 or 40/60. There will not be a 20/80 or 80/20. So that's something that he's gonna work on for me. I think we patched things up and I wrote him an e-mail re-capping what we had discussed. I'm glad throughout this whole ordeal that I don't suffer from a low self-esteem and can walk away if I want to. That is HUGE!

The conversation went pretty well and I'm not gonna go 'head over heels' until i see some action. "more than words to show you feel, that you're love for me is real..."

Blessed

This weekend was short! Friday night I went out with my friend cam...and blacked out. So I don't know the hooooole story, again i c no marks on me so Im guessin nothing bad happend. I stayed at cam's place woke up with this killer headache and urge to pray to the porcelain god almighty....which I did...sleep/hack/sleep/hack have mummy pick my drunk ass up. Oh yes, the highlight of my weekend!

Actually that wasn't the biggest highlight. I got an e-mail from someone and it made me realize what good friends I have here. I am BLESSED with the friends I have in my life! I talked to certain people about that e-mail and won't blog about it here (i got a separate blog for my private thoughts). I will say this....POSITIVE ENERGY! Put a spin on whatever you can. So with that said, I'm happy and hope things are going well for those who try and put me through pain & "suffering". Cheers!

Sunday came, stomach feels a lil better. Went bowling and kicked ass! I got top 3! w00t w00t! LOL! let's leave it at that! ^_^

Krap...I mean Kraft's done it again!

Ok I gotta stop calling Kraft Krap. Since the lunchables they have evolved. Granted their "healthier" line of foods "South Beach Living" still has more sodium than I care to consume in a meal, the caloric & protein and sugar content make up for it. Ok so Harris Teeter had the South Beach Living Sesame Chicken wrap Sandwich kit on sale $3.79, Buy 1 Get 1 Free. So In read the ingredients to ensure their sesame dressing didn't have HFCS...it didn't! Great! The meal which has two medium size wraps, chicken chunks, crispy whole wheat noodles, mandarin orange dressing and a sugar free gelatin was 220 calories. Can can of Campbell Healthy Select soup contains 240 calories! The difference in sodium 710mg for Kraft, 960mg for Campbell. The only thing Campbell beat Kraft on was Cholesterol 40mg vs 20mg
**Honarable Mention** Protein: Kraft - 21g; Campbell - 14g

I enjoyed the meal, but with the south beach living I am usually left hungry. I don't eat that quickly so when I enjoy this meal again I will bring some carrots/veggies to snack on! Kraft, I know you gotta have preservatives with your meals but if TV dinners can go below 500mg PAH-LEEZ give it a shot! ^_^

iLuv my Harris Teeter!

Yes I know...I'm a dork! iLuv it and wouldn't have it any other way! so Nyaaah! :-P

Anyways....Giant has had my business for a loooong time because the bakery at Safeway and Shoppers suck...they just plain suck! So recently my Giant decided, HEY! Lets get rid of these unbleached breads and bring in Nature's Own bleached crap. This did not go well with Dirty. Dirty is a carb whore who loves bread like black folk love chicken! I can't get enuf of that shit!!! So...I started shopping at Harris Teeter and not only do they have my breads, but they HAVE A LARGER selection of unbleached baked goods then what giant had (ok, now moving into the rating section)

HARRIS TEETER (review):

The store was very clean. When you walk inside there is a cookie basket that you can give your kid. That's nice. When I was in the store I was approached three times and asked if I needed assistance. That was nice too. The prices on a few of their products are some what higher than Giant and others compare (see comparison below). The service that I received and selection that they have make up the difference....I think! So the picture above show's me smiling my ass off. I was fucking JUMPING in the GaWd DayUM store!!!! I haven't seen MY splenda Peter Pan Peanut butter in YEARS! I shot the pic to my mom and got a txt back from here saying: Unbelievable!

She was always looking for that peanut butter when I was in Kuwait and still to this day! I found it!!! OMG!!! I FUCKIN FOUND IT! LOL! In my life I have small victories, these are the things that make me jump and smile! Simple pleasures! iLuv 'em!

Ok so Harris Teeter was not gonna get a rant outta me w/o me goin to my unfaithful Giant.

GIANT (Review)

No assistance what's so ever! This is VERY shocking because if you go to the Bailey's Crossroad Giant they like moved the whole fuckin store around! So it would've been nice to have help but no worries, we move on. The store was pretty clean considering the construction they were still undergoing. The service in Giant does not compare to that of Harris Teeter. Pricing:

Milk (1GAL, Organic, 1%) - Giant only has Whole/FF: $5.79 / HT: $5.99 (NO SALE)

Nature's Own Whole Wheat - Giant: $2.69 / HT: $2.99 (NO SALE)

Simply JiF - Giant: $2.99 / HT: $3.39 (NO SALE)

Polaner Fruit Jams (Med Jar) - Giant: $2.50 / HT: $1.99 (HT ON SALE, Reg $2.39)

St Dalfor Jam - Giant: $5.29 / HT: $4.99 (NO SALE)

Deer Park Water (24Bottles)- Giant: $4.44 / HT: $7.49 (Buy 1 Get 1 Free) (BOTH ON SALE)

Deli Cooked Ham (12oz) - Giant: $4.99 / HT: $3.50 (HT ON SALE, $4.49)

8 Piece Roasted Chicken - Giant: $7.49 / HT: $4.99 (HT ON SALE, $6.99)

Baguette - Giant: $2.99 / HT: $2.99 (NO SALE)

Bananas - Giant: 59c lb / HT: 65c lb (NO SALE)

Raspberries (box) - Giant: $2.99 / HT: 1.50 (HT ON SALE, $3.99)

Hillshire Farms Deli Wraps - Giant: $4.49 / HT: $3.99 (Buy 1 Get 1 Free)

Apples (3lb Bag, Red Delicious) - Giant: $4.99 / HT: $4.99 (NO SALE)

Giant: $59.96 / HT: $49.09

I know that the sales prices make the differences however the only things not on my list were the bananas, apples, raspberries and South Beach wraps (which Giant doesn't carry). I've got way too much time on my hands to be comparing places but I do this for you people! LOL!! I'm only kidding myself! iLuv it! Harris Teeter gets a 7.5/10, Giant gets a 5.5/10

Harris Teeter has a store jam that states "ALL NATURAL INGREDIENTS". Since when is corn syrup and High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS) a natural ingredient??? Am I missing something or is their an HFCS plant we've developed? Ok...that is why they scored below an 8, but the service you get from Harris Teeter makes up the difference is some of their erroneous label and high price items PLUS the variety and deals you get on throughout the store puts this store at #1 in my book. From the moment you walk in (Small/Large carts/Baskets), grab your kid a cookie, walk on non-sticky clean floors greeted by the reps who work their to the cash register with their pleasant smile and customer service you get a Grade A experience.

Farewell...Auf Wiedersehen

Well the only thing I'm going to Blog about is my trip to North Carolina. My uncle, Richard Peper died a few weeks ago. The man was a great inspiration to those who knew him. We had his memorial this Sunday. It was beautiful. I broke down twice with his death. The first time is when I had heard of the news and heard my grandmother cry. The second time was at the service. My uncle loved to tell jokes (the same old ones, but it would put a smile on your face), was not shy to interact with people, sing songs from the beatles and build stuff with his hands.

The rabbi lead the service off explaining who Rick was, the number of years he was with the temple and the joy he had brought to the lives of others. The cantor followed after the Rabbi and said he had a song he would like to sing that he was sure Rick would love. He sang The Beatles - Yesterday (and included some french with it). OMG, I heard that and pictured it coming out of Rick's mouth. I tried to hold it in but of course sittin next to my mom and grandmother hearing them baul just had me goin.

Afterwards we heard from my Aunt, my uncle, my mother, myself (UgH!), friends of his and then my aunt's brother. It was beautiful. The jokes that we had to re-hear again (which I'm sure he enjoyed) followed by the rabbi giving the last prayer.

That was the service...beautiful! The night before we met the family at Gloria's place. The whole family was there. I feel retarded...they had my uncle's photos spread out on a table and a box. I looked at all the photos and smiled. People were teary eyed but ok, that cool..grieving. So when we leave the house my mom said she got to talk to Rick and I was like, yeaaah! Where did they put him??? He was in the box by the photos. Shit I didn't know! I didn't pay the box any attention. Oh well, I told my sis if they stick me in a box I want it to be a motion deteced/voice activated with a lithium battery sayin "Hello" or singing that annoying song "Don't worry, be happy"...what can I say? I want cheap laughs even afterwards!!! lol!

All the cousins went downstairs to have a couple drinks...burn a fag or two. So my cousin (Rick's son) does a toast to his dad. He starts off with "My dad was an asshole..." and before he can say the next word my sis is like "No he wasn't! He was not an asshole". Talk about awkward cuz HELLO u dad wasn't, but yes please continue with ur toast. Did I mention we had 14 year olds drinkin with us?!? Oh yea, im not gonna get into that but we have 14 y/o friends and we're 23..24? Ok, whatever lets just get through this shit! lol!

Food: Ok, so i'm not a picky eater. I'll eat just about anything fried, smoothered in potatos or just plain left out of the fridge for two days chicken. Ummmm yeah, southern thing where you leave your chicken out and not necessarily covered....WHO THE FUCK MADE THAT RULE UP???? Ok so fried chicken was out, what else do we got. We have a cole slaw mixed with chopped ramen noodles (no not the choy noodles, RAMEN noodles), fresh fruits mixed with canned fruits (HFCS!), mashed potatos, potato salad, cookies, fudge (mmmm too cookies n fudge), rolls (bleached)....right! Dinner was smashin! I had a wing (out of starvation), sum fruit (avoidin that syrup) and then we got on the road, hit up a harris teeter got a veggie plate, some fruits and then went to FIVE GUYS! (ummm fuck yea I want a double! lol)

The brunch the next day was great but I bought cherrios in milk JUST IN CASE. The drive was great, we had the speeding gawds look over us on the drive there but on the way back...lol!
Those fuckin cobalts came out of no where! Can we not just speed responsibly??? GIMME EUROPE AGAIN! Ok, hope everyone else's weekend was good.

FYI - TOWN for Obama was slackin! Old doods, no one was on the bottom floor...no one! Good, I was tired anyways...gave my $20 for Obama (even tho I'm a Hillary fan *ALL THE WAY*) and went home. ~