The old me's dead n gone....dead n gone

I lost that fight, but not that war I still see my nicca walkin out tha door. Don't turn ur head walk away, I'll be back up on my feet some day. Play with my emotions? My nicca that's trife. Go on get the hell on walk out my life! Ooooo I've been waitin for this day soo long. Findin out where we belong. Never knew YOU could be so wrong....now the old me's dead n gone...dead n gone.

Aight I'm gonna blog about this and then move forward. I took myself off of facebook cause I did not know how to address my feelings towards this guy I liked. I figured if I ignored him on here he wouldn't pop up in my profile thus not havin me think about him. But damn you new facebook (ummm yeah I'm still considerin it new) ur stoopid HIGHLIGHTS section should reflect who I ignore.

I don't like not having control over my emotions. I felt like I was a stalker or obsessed so I was like fuck this i'll close my page down and will deal with this situation. When I'm calm cool and collective. So around midnight I get a text from him and I may have had a drink or 6 (but who counts?). So after we were both like ok...love you on SMS I was like go for it. So I owned that I liked him more than a friend and that I think he knows that and like to know if he wanted somethin more or just leave things where they are at.

What could be worse than hearing no? Not hearing a GAWD DAYUM MOTHERFUCKIN THING AT ALL. Now one of my bois who has a real good head on his shoulders said that a week is not long enuf, you probably scared him...think of what he's goin through and how you'd feel. Let him process this. I understand that, but to not have contact or say let's talk later. I mean fuck...anything is better than nothing. A polite No would've been better. But nada. So after day 3 I was crushed that someone I felt so close to as a friend would just let me slip like that, especially him knowing how sensitive I am towards my feelings. (and if u're reading this, you know it)

So I picked myself up...dusted my shoulders, burned a candle and cut my hair. Whatever we had just wasn't their. One day I will learn the value and loyalty of being a friend. I find the masochist approach I have damaging yet not discomforting since I grew up with little to no friends. I'm not gonna say it feels good to cut people out of my life. Toss them aside like rubbish. It doesn't....but I'm done and most likely won't look back. So now it's out there.

On another note my facebook family I have cut off all notifications on here. So don't you feel ignored if I don't get back at you right away. My work loves making me work and we all know how that fuckin excites princess! NOT! Fairy tells shouldn't have 7-4 jobs. lol! It's going ok...i like the team that I got. I couldn't freakin make it in that place without Kristina (seriously! she took a sick day and I was ready to throw the towel in). Ooooh it's raining...*iLuv hearin the rain tap on the roof*. I got a new Dining Room set! Last night Cam, Gary and I went to a furniture store before watchin the proposal (Sandra bullock and Betty White...need i say more???). Walked into a 30% off sale and asked them if the cortona table and chairs were on sale. She said yes. OMG Princess! Put ur AMEX away!!! Show some fuckin discipline! 12months interest free you say??? "Tucks AMEX back in wallet"...let's see what we can work out. So my birthday present to me is my brand new dining room set. Yaaaay! Delivery is next friday. Can't wait!!!!=) *smooches all**

Guts of the Pentagon

Right so I'm about to wrap week two up at the pentagon and I still ain't got a badge. The peeps newer than I have been badged....WTF? Now normally this would irritate me but who am I to complain about lack of work. I just try and be proactive and have answers as to why my beautiful punk ass can't help you =)

My most favorite part of the Pentagon is the gym. OMG! It's soooo fuckin beautiful! Two sides get fulfilled, my workout side. And the horny side! Yes people...marines! *drrrroooooolllll*
So n e ways...after slooowly inspecting the locker rooms (LOL!!! not kidding) I saw lots of wall lockers, a wet/dry sauna and massage room (that I can get daily one hour usage out of! LOL!)
there are three floors. First floor is free weights and machines, 2nd floor is a track floor with some bikes and the third floor is pure cardio machines. There is also a pool and two jacuzzi's. All for the price of $120 ($20 p/mo with 6mos/1 year contract). Eat it bitches, your gyms can't compete!

So one week left at the state dept...and I am in full slack mode (hard to imagine). I'll blog more later ~ cheers

Update on the new gig

So I wake (or attempt) to wake up at 550 every morning now. FML! Only time I saw 550 was after leavin DC drunk off my ass (and I blame the bartenders! They totally own that one!). So after bashing my alarm clock till 630 it's not go time. Relax dirty...we ain't gotta be at work till 8 and we know what we wearing. Shower (rinse & repeat), dress (and FUCK iLook good *_^), do the pocket check and head out the door.

It's 725...TrafficLand show'd traffic flowing nicely. So I don't live like a stone throw away from this interstate. Between that time and two miles on the road, every fuckin owner of a vehicle decided to pile up there! No worries babe, I got you covered...Windows down, viva la vida on. Ahhhhh....I'm so not lettin this traffic Bull-shit fuck me ova. So I get to Foggy Bottom in good time. The Gods must be frustrated that they didn't piss in my cheerios yet, so here we go.

Let's create a metro crisis....*NOW*..! O.M..G! What's going on?!? Metro repairs?? Only one rail is working? Ok...we'll wait. I can't do shit nor am I mechanically inclined to get on the rail and offer assistance. I can motivate! (Shouting INS gets people moving quicker). Ok, so the blue metro heading to sgpfd finally arrives. We're at the Pentagon, let's get in line to get inside.

*Drops Jaw*...WTF?!?! Is this the line to a Britney concert or something?!? Well...I can't call anyone cuz the mobiles don't work in the building. Guess I'll just hafta wait. So it's 9'oclock and I'm finally inside. I grab my badge and am not too worried. These guys owe me comp time for Sunday. I showed up for work on Sunday because I was on the list. APPARENTLY when I wasn't around my boss said this is not set in stone yet. This will happen when he gets word. Well....that's no big deal. Daddy will take care of princess. Princess missed his saturday night, and Daddy ain't lettin that shit go. Someone's gonna pay.

After showing up late, it was clearly time for a coffee break *_^ (I'm still learning how to work, you can't break me in just like that....Oh! And I'm corrupting people too! ;-) iLuv it!) The people I work with on my specific team are awesome! We're all like team players and luv each other. If these chicks love survivor we'll give ourselves a name. Right now I see them all as dirty's angels. We'll call the PM Bosley. So yeah, great day today (even without a login). I'm ready to get started and rule the world. 9 more days at the Dept of State. I'm gonna eat some Pho with my Vietnamese boys today (sorry gym...we'll catch up!) ~pea©e n LuV 2 all~