Promise of a new day

Man, I'm so glad yesterday is done with! It does help to wake up and reflect back on what made me so upset. And like I told myself yesterday, it's not worth it. So I'm at work now keeping myself busy doing whatever I can do to keep my mind preoccupied. Watchin Kill Bill and my office just watched the Suns finally beat San Antone in a game (so i got one friend who is less than thrilled bout that)

Anyways I got a better grasp of my emotions and may be hard to reach this week via phone (u know the drill ladies n gents). Have a great week :0*

Laters ~ mikey

Emotional Roller-Coaster

Well had a lot of deep thinkin going on today...I just need to get this off my mind and that's what I'm gonna do. In Kuwait I had friends and we all hung out to party and nothing else. It was cool, you know the peeps...the ones that would never call you, you'd never call them but when you saw them at house parties or wherever they were part of your crew and you guys all drank together. It was cool, yeah? Then you had ur special circle in that group that was made up of the people who actually truly gave a fuck about you. This was your family. They were there for you at parties, work or vacaciones. That was beautiful. These relationships took time to build and I guess maybe I'm trying to rush something that is not there. So my superego started (aka snowballed) when I shot my papi a txt...didn't hear back from him and told myself ahhh, no worries! Not paranoid, lemme hit my sis up....Nothing. O-----K, thats cool I gotta call my friend up n see whats goin on. Cool, he's there. So yeah he's gonna do lunch and gimme a call back in 15 and we'll figure out if we're gonna do lasertag or what. Aight cool, lemme pick out what i wanna wear! I looked totally cute today!ok well that's subjective, but I was definitely feelin what I had on! So after like an hour I called him back to find out wha was goin on...Um, no answer. Aight, lol...not hearin back from my papi, my sis, and now buddy. Aight let me meet up with this other buddy n we'll hit dupont up. (mental note to self, if you're NS is picking up just go to starbucks n chillax). So I when I got there I told him to come down...we had this convo for like 5mins back and forth. In hindsight if I had called him we prolly wouldn't have had a miscommunication. But I was like you know what, fuck people! I'm gonna go see my dog! Ok, the silver lining here is practicing what I've been learning in this book (Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism). I will not let these people take control of my emotions. I won't! I'm in control of how I feel, NOT THEM. So I put on the right motivating music and was basically like you know what...Fuck this, I'm Mike Sanchez! Wipe that fuckin dirt off ur shoulder papi. So my first thoughts we're fuck friends numba one. We never hang out unless what we're drinking and is that it? Really? All we do is get drunk together? Aight, fair enuf! I had those buddies in Kuwait. Gotcha, I'm not reaching the fuck out any more, I'm not gonna care about whats going on in ur life...we'll just use each other's company at the bar or clubs! Coolio! Next, my papi...I'm gonna give you some space. I'm not paranoid that you didn't answer me but puttin everything together I've been clingin onto the emotional high you give me whenever we txt/talk. It almost feels like self-punishment to tell myself that I'm gonna leave the ball in your court and whenever you wanna hit me up that'll just put a big ass grin on my face. I love you babe, and you know I do...Ur happiness is my happiness. I've never felt a love as surreal as the love you give me, and I don't know if this is a normal feeling or me becoming dependent. Anyone who knows me know I'm a HUGE advocate on being independent. I mean yeah if you're startin back up again I can dig the co-dependent stuff...u gotta build up then go, but to thrive off of other people like a leach...No thanks!
I just got lost in thought...where was I? Oh yeah, so anyway papi "Te quiero mucho" and u know that. Lets see...friend number one I wanted you in my special circle but you've turned out to be one of my biggest disappointment...I saw ur ambition, goal-oriented attitude and was like WoW! who does that remind me of, minus the college ~;-), but I get it...clearly a true friendship isn't what I'm gonna get out of this so yeah fine ur a bar buddy...that's all, papi - i miss ya...that's all, um sis get's an automatic pass because fuck...once ur family ur family ;-* (Miss ya! Can't wait ta see u in June!)
Friend numero dos - I got nothing for ya....that's all (insert Miranda - Runway)

Aight...bedtime, I got work manana (UgH! How many days till Thursday??? LoL!)

Thursday!

Oh praise Allah! It's finally Thursday!!! Time for my ritual! Go to Capitol City Brewing Co and have my two victory beers! This weekend has the potential of bein packed or laid back...either way I'm totally stoked that it's like here n stuff! I've been growin more and more in love with Marlon as we talk on the phone / chat...I'm waiting for this big letdown because I've been feeling pretty high/intense this week and I know when I crash I crash HARD! I'm also sooooo happy for my friend Christina! She's got her hubby back which means we can prolly have a normal friendship now and not get on each others nerves High Five n Snap it ova ya left shoulda girl! w00t w00t! lol!
Friday I'm gonna chillax at home or check out Christians cherry red miata (jealous? huh doy! lol)
Sat at 3pm i'm gonna join a group n play sum laser tag...haven't done it in a while (but thats a whole nutha story *bah dum bum psssh*) but it'll be fun no matter what meeting new peeps that aren't in the gay scene....at least that's what naive me thinks! lol!

Thats it for the weekend stuff...Self-improvement is going well (one step at a time): I kicked paranoia in the nuts at least 3 times this week...and it felt great. Everyone, HAVE A FUCKIN FABULOUS WEEKEND! *MuAH* ~:-P

Trunks!

Ok ok...so I was watching a commercial on TV and Hooters is hiring. So I thought it would be funny if a tranny like applied for that job...n scrunched the goods! lol..And then I was thinkin, why don't we have a gay hooters or better yet...Trunks?

What gay guy wouldn't want sum trunks servin them a piece of meat (and shut the fuck up if you're thinkin...NO!) I wonder what the costs of doing a restaurant business are, and of course serving alcohol. Finding servers wouldn't be tuff cuz OMG! There are soo many hot gay/straight guys that could def use the cash to burn at TOWN or wherever (LoL! Ok, maybe its just me that needs that hard cash right now). Suga-Free red bull with Absolut, pleeeease!

Research Research Research...I'm gonna ask the two guys who are business smart what they think. If it doesn't sound like a winner, I had fun drawin that elephants trunk! LoL!! ~ holla

weekends gooo waaaaay 2 fassssst!

Wow so this weekend is already over with??? WTF? Well at least I finally get to come into work on a day with thunderstorms and rain. Last couple of weeks its been like sunny n stuff...*PsSsH* OMG, i blew through a couple hundred bucks at the bar! Shizer! I think sumone needs ta tone his weekend like waaaaaaay down or start winkin at the right bartenders ;-)

I really do miss Jess at town...well aside from the hookups on drinks NO ONE there can top his smile...and i'm like all bout the smiles n stuff :)
So yeah...ummm Friday I punished my liver and heard some interesting stories....I'm not a fighter but apparently i was hittin this dood and had to apologize the next day when this was pointed out to me...Absolut n Red Bull...bring out the false self in you. So yeah the next day I was waaay better in the behavior mode. Didn't drink that much (I swear! lol)...crashed at my bois place. Sat i dragged my drunk ass outta bed n drove around VA lookin for some good eats with my friend DJ. Ummmm wow, we like didn't have much luck with plan A which was eating at TO DAIs, but Tau Tau was open & you know me n Tau Tau! Lol! (Good leftovers BTW).

Headed towards TOWN (yes yes, on a sat)...met up with the bday boy & friends...Something hit me like a switch and I got aggitated. At that point I had to walk off on my own...met up with more people...still aggitated and then saw Cam and forgot what the fuck I was pissed off bout (Ummm Thanks Cam! loL!) We'll just chuck that up to alcohol! It's America, and it wouldn't be American of me to own up to my own faults, right? lol! Aight i hope everyone else had a good weekend...I got some big reading to do and if my boss doesn't show up (en challa) i see a potential nap in my future! w00t w00t!

WeEk3nD m@Dness!

Ok ok, im not a lazy fuck! My apt is like 68% finished + the storage units that we're suppose to get are now ready for us to use (Yesssss! I got a box/storage tub waiting to be moved! w00t w00t!)

My media center is not cooperating with my TV so i gotta hook it back up to a monitor n see whats up....I may just get a splitter..we'll see, that'll be fun stuff to figure out this weekend. Aight so my weekend...Well I wasn't gonna head out friday night cuz of my apt, but got guilted/heavy hearted cuz a buddy of mine was turning 30. Let's call this buddy, Bob. Aight so Bob was celebratin his 30th bday and I met him up at Cobalts. So he was with a friend of his and I guess was pretty buzzed up n stuff. Being polite I was talking to Bob's friend asking the where you from and so forth. Bob was not happy...Bob felt like I was trying to get with the guy he likes and get this (my favorite part) "because I'm known to do that". OMG! If I was that good I wouldn't have sexual fustrations! LOL! So all night long Bob was being rude, obnoxious and upset that I didn't have strong feelings for him like he does for me. It's not there...It's just not there and trying to belittle me didn't piss me off! I could only laugh cuz I was like, WHo the fuck is this guy? NOBODY...so yeah he apologized n stuff but I had to block Bob on my phone because his behavior wasn't high schoolish...it was middle school border line HSish. So my silver lining to that evening was after drinking I don't...lets say a lot, I ended up burnin a fag outside. And while I'm smokin or I don't know what I saw Cam and we were both laughin and talkin bout...who the fuck knows?!? lol! And then I head home and...wait and minute....Ahhhh FUCK! I lost my phone!!! So I go to bed and wake up realizing my phone is gone and I sent cam a msg on facebook. OMG, why dirty! why do u msg people when ur drunk! Well I didn't write anything stoopid so, Go ME! lol just that I had lost my phone. Suspended services and started working on a claim with USAA and of course looking for a new phone. I was more upset when my iPod broke then when I lost my phone because deep down I was thinking, YES! I have the perfect excuse not to talk to people! Then my parents call my house phone sayin that someone found my phone and gave me his phone number. I drove (yes hangover still with me! Thank-you Patron & Absolut) and got my phone...Hot guy, has a boyfriend...excellent friend material!

So the day was def starting off better, lol! My house key broke (I really don't know how!) So I went to my parents to pickup the spare set and guess what! OMG! My dad asks me if these glasses (Oakley's I had lost 3 months ago) were mine! YaaaaaaaaaaaY! Oakley stopped making that model for some weird reason! Light and small frames! I don't get it Oakley, y stop making them?? y? y? y? BUT YES! DAD FOUND THEM! WhooOO hoOOOO! So far the day is going very well, had a great visit with mum and dad...looking at cars, fallin in love with an RL..what am i gonna do tonight? Ahhh Cam wrote, hope its not something like "drunkass"...so he's going to Town...Ugh! I don't like goin to TOWN on sat nights...waaaaay 2 crowded (and it was) but it was cool to link up with him and meet other peeps there too! Danced (o yes, i did) and then me, cam and aaron went to Annie's for sum fuckin awesome french toast and bacon! Aaron was fuckin awesome and is like a fun drunk...Cam drunk speaks this totally different language that reminded me of a clicky talk tribe in Africa...it was HULARIOS! After Annie's I needed some ZZzZzzzs before headin back to I crashed at Cam's n woke up around 8ish feelin like shit, rolled the windows down n made it back safe. Goin to work on Sunday was a BITCH, No ShiT!!!

So yeah this weekend I'll handle my media center and then go back to carmax and sit in cars! lol! I was talkin to my boi Marlon whos had an RL (the seats are awesome) what negative thoughts he had on the vehicle and it came down to maintenance costs (not surprising for a Luxury vehicle), premium wheels, has AWD but doesn't turn well...I guess if I'm gonna look at luxury vehicles I outta look at more. I like the BMW 328i, but don't know how comfy those seats are...I want nice seats so the RL isn't completely outta pic :)

My dirty lil weekend is dun son! ~ lataz

well i guess this is growing up....

****WARNING! THIS MESSAGE IS MOSTLY GEEK TALK....THANK-YOU****

Aight...with that said, yesterday we had a server in Asis who's SMTP traffic was horrendous! This sit has four servers. Let's call them ASIA01, 02, 03 and 04. ASIA01 & 02 are both in the same location where as 03/04 are in different areas. Ok so ASIA01 is acting as the local bridgehead server sending local messages to itself, 02/3/4. 01 is experiencing heavy SMTP traffic...you log on to the server, terminate the SMTP session, re-start SMTP services and nothing! You ping the bridgehead that your RG connects you too and see a sllllloooooow ping along with missing hops. You log on to ASIA02 and ping without ANY latency! So you suggest setting the RG to connect to ASIA02 and get shunned down, so you shut ur mouth and just move mailboxes.

The next day someone has an appifany, swaps the RG to ASIA02 and then sends a huge e-mail about it. OMG! So I had to blog about that because credit was not given where it was deserved but being the professional that I am, I said "Hey, good job" in lieu of "Hey, suck my cock"

;-) go me! lol

Th Night

Aight so this week i'm gonna be pet sitting and playing with this brand new 2.5 dual ghz centrino, 4GB ram, 240GB 7200 RPM, 512MB Vid Card, Int finger scanner/webcam/mic, brightview 17" screen! Ohh yeahhhhhh.....mmmmm....talk geeek to me! oooOh! HP Laptop I'll be in Springfield this week and have a 4BR house with a sunroom n hottub all by me onesies! Oh yeah, dirty is gonna chillax this week! I do have an interview on Monday though and the recruiter actually shot me an e-mail sayin to dress professionally. My instincts was to reply back with: Huh DoooooY! but, i guess this thing called maturity (damn u aging!) had me just shake my head up n down thinkin of what else I "could've" replied back with...I was also thinkin, so is that a No for showing up in just a purple thong? It's a business attire I use for my "night job".

Awwww....I sure do miss technical recruiting. It was the BoMb when I was a recruiter...u got lonely by not interacting with people, but your hours freakin rocked especially if u were hiring the right people. From what I hear, things are more organized and structured in Kuwait! Where the hell was I at when I was trying to get that setup! LoL! wow...this blog went from pet sitting, to gettin a hard-on off this HP Laptop, interviewing to technical recruiting. Talk about your A.D.D., eh? So tonight I'll head home and pack some stuff up for Springfield (my KFC! w00t w00t!), another laptop (or as I call it...my Xtop! GigGity!) and some clothes.

Oh yeah, so bout this other job...it's suppose to have actual work! The site is running SLLLOOOOOW on exchange and needs an upgrade! YES! FUCKIN YES!!! I wanna be part of that setup! That would be sooooo freakin cool. So what about this other job....OK, so here me out! lol! This night job is aight, but monotonous. So I was actually toying with the iDea of workin at apple from 10 - 2pm (just for fun and to possibly learn more bout Macs). But this new job is right next door to my current one and is looking for someone from 9am - 3pm...meanwhile my other job starts at 330pm. OMG, rolling in the dough! I don't think that after taxes I'll need to hop over to Kuwait...I mean hell, with my weekends clear and being able to tell either job "I can't make it in" what's the point of going back to the sand? I mean YES! I'm going to miss my friends out there, but its a dealing with the traffic getting to work sucked and not being able to move up within the company...ummm, yeah that sucked too! Why limit myself? My friends will eventually make it back over here, and if not! EgH! There's always myspace and Gmail.

Also this week my inferior Product on-demand (iPod) broke...the Hard Drive just started clicking and what better time to go out, then when you're outta warranty? Right? Right? So again, initial reaction was to smash the fuckin iPod in front of their store and shout out a BIG "FUCK YOU APPLE", but damn this aging thing, I didn't! It felt good to think about tho....So I decided to take a walk around the lake with a friend and smashed the shit outta my iPod! It felt good and when I picked up the pieces I was like noooow ur fuckin broken and I don't have to pay some asshole at the genius bar to tell me that. So after 4 hours of grieving I went to target and picked up iPod #4 (WTF? When will I ever learn)...but this time when I was like TALK FLASH TO ME! I've got a backup mp3 player from 2001 that works because, hello! flash memory! So I got the 32GB iPod Touch. Had people say, y not get the 16GB iPhone for the same price? Well given the fact that I'm going through iPod #4...Do you really think I'm gonna trust apple with music AND telecommunications? Yeeeeeaaaah...no thanks, I'll just carry two devices and when iPod #4 crashes...me & the HTC will have a good laugh and probably chuckle "Can you hear it now?...Nope, its fucked! hahaha" (yes, my HTC talks to me..jealous?)

I'm also undergoin an investigation and had my investigator call me with ?'s. So I answered her questions and next thing you know Adan(m) calls me up the next day and was like "Dood! Some investigator called me and was asking me all sorts of questions". That was pretty quick! 2 days before all this Marlon gives me a call. So I'm at my Dad's office and of course he is as comfortable with me being gay as a cat is swimming across a lake. So we're talkin and he asks me how was my visit with my sister and stuff and then we got down to business. He gave my name to an investigator and needed help with his investigation and gave my name. So all the same it was great hearing from him and it gives me pleasure that I ca help him out professionally :-)

So wish me luck n stuff, I interview on Monday (and not in a purple thong! lol!) and am tired of typin! lol! Laters