I'm back

and I've got things to say! First off 2010...where did time go? The last days of my 20s are slipping away but what has gone on this past year...the good, the bad and the ugly. Let's start with family as they are sooo damn close to my heart.

Dad - Easiest update...he's happy with life and getting more and more gray hairs. He still has all his hair and so did my grandfather on my mom's side...YES!!!! This is good news here (*pats that weave*)

Mom- She's going through a tuff battle with her fibromyalgia which causes her cronic pain and depression. I really hope that she can find the panacea for this epidemic or something that can ease her pain and mind. Hope to update some good news on Mom :-)

Jackie- The chick got married! :-o I KNOW! Right? She did it! She got married the day after my parents anniversary (horray...yet another June celebration) and moved to Hawaii with her marine, Garrett. They're happy over there...her cat is with my parents until the end of October and I think Jax is sooo excited to get her lil kitty cat back

Reese- Yes! Newwwwwww Members! Reese was born on 6/6/2010. She is an ADORABLE
cockapoo...Awwwww! I know! Daddy luvs you!!!! Ok ok so we've been together now...umm a few months now. She's a fast learner and of course a diva. She doesn't like to follow orders unless there's food involved so she's gonna take a puppy training course soon (and I'll blog about that).
She can already: Sit, Shake, Lie down, Give hi-5s, and we're working on rollover.

~*MoI*~ Let's start with something positive. I have a boyfriend. I know! When have I ever blogged that before? He's a great guy, very thoughtful and nice. I have some worries/fears about this relationship...mostly the *spark* factor. I went through so much heartache with Marlon and Darrell (<-- Liar! Manipulator! Cold!...Bravo! You got me u sick fuck! This punk ass bitch juggles me wit his man! Wow....wow! So glad his man left his dumbass...and he got robbed! Ain't karma a BEYOTCH!)...but I digress so much heartache that I built up walls. I'm not trying to be vulnerable and this may bite me. Ok so that if you can go back to the 2nd sentence is the good news.

I quit my gig the 12th of August. Enough was enough...I took a systems engineering job with Mantech and documented shit for the 5months I was there...How fuckin annoying is it to accept a cool job and not do it? I know! Thanks ITT for the $$$ and my family for showing me how to save. I'm gonna try and start work the beginning of October and hopefully get an SCI out of it. The big goal is to work with my old boss who fuckin rocks, Eric Stevenson back in the world of exchange (only) but I need an SCI first. So no work, but no worries...the bills are paid and if anything I depleting my sister's inheritence if anything should happen to me (sorry! lol!)

I closed the doors on Marlon in Jan or Feb and recently opened the doors. I'm gonna try and keep it the way things use to be. Y dirty? Y? Well I've lost enough close people to my heart that I didn't wanna shun him out. Dirty Dick Darrell put a blackhole in my heart (I see his name and feel anger. If he fuckin died or just fell off this gawd dayum Earth right now there would be more oxygen for me to breathe), Cameron cut me after that FAB-U-LOUS trip to Toronto...I got a Linked in invitation from him today and was like...hmmm...are we opening communications?

Generic Subject line read: Cameron Hernandez wants to stay in touch on LinkedIn
So I wrote back saying:
Nope...u know how to stay in touch

He wrote back saying that all his gmail contacts got that message and sorry for the annoyance. I almost wrote back cause I miss him like a brother but Oh well...I too can cut ni99as like barbers cut hair...it's just harder to let go when they're more than 'just a friend'...his choice, not mine..Thank goodness I got Chris & Tiff still in my life...that 10year friendship is solid!...and moving on! lol!...let's see...something positive...something positive...Weight training! Yes!

Been hitting the gym hard wit my boi Matt! We got a great routine going and hopefully this next summer aka Dirty's 30 (oooof!) I'll be takin dem pix..lookin all fly n shyt...imma be spreadin my wings (do it do it!) OOOkkkkk!. Arms - Monday / Back - Tuesday / Abs - Wednesday /Legs - Thursday / Chest - Friday. Also after watching Food Inc, I'm more cognitive about what I eat.
I try and buy local and for meats will buy from a farmers market or whole foods. When I asked Harris Teeter where they bought there meat they said "North Carolina"...ooook...I need more info than that...what ranch do you guys buy ur meet from? Are the cows fed grass or corn? They coward down to the already sliced organic meat...two choices of meat..F! Harris Teeter! F! F! F!

So yeah I will be slowly moving the grocery list to whole foods eventually. Eating rights costs a lot of f'n cash! I might as well just have Sunflower cater for me! :-) hmmmmm.....lol!

Last negative to put out for 2010...the finale to Lost sucked! WTF?!?! We all called that shyt 4-5 seasons ago! Purgatory! Bah!

Ok this was a long post...had a lot to say and it's getting late. this blog will be updated! Dirty's back! And he's got sum jibber-jabber that needs to be said dammit!

Like why do my facebook friends feel the need to spread religion?
What chemical in HFCS makes it the worse sugar ever?
Is alcohol or more so a bar a great place to seek salvation?
Will I move to NYC?

you gotta go through the weeds to get to the trees

Blah....Ok so today is gonna be a good day. My sis is having her wedding reception and even though I'm grateful to be here, I'm havin an L.Boogie moment (where you might win some but you just lost one).

I'd say one of my biggest challenges in life is dealing with my emotions without medication. I'm a mess...truly am. I don't know how to maintain relationships. I'm freakin lost. All I know is that I got two of my best friends living in Gainesville and they are my redwood trees as our friendship will do nothing but grow and grow. Maybe I need to ask them how we manifested and what keeps us together.

Couple days ago I went up to Canada wit my boi Tuffie. Had a great day n 1/2 there then something happened. He had to go back but couldn't really explain it to me. I see him SMS'n back and forth and come up with my own conclusion that something wasn't right at home and that issue had to be dealt with. A plether of thoughts came rolling in my head. How can he leave manana? I sacrificed my sister's reception for this? What the hell is going on here? Am I gettin dissed again? FFFFFFF! So I tried hitting the gym cause that seems to work....nuh uh.

Tried drinking and burning a fag. Nope! Finally I met up with another friend there and vented. I felt better but didn't know what to say. He wasn't saying anything to me, nor I to him. I finally spoke up in the car and asked if it was life & death why we were heading back. Medication. Ok...so if we had communicated this yesterday we both probably wouldn't be in an ignore status. Fair enough, our friendship is strong enough to handle this...*ahem* wrong! We didn't have a friendship tree...we had a weed that just died. Ended up gettin the email that HALAS! The road to friendship ends here. Wow...I thought we were having like a sibling rivalry where eventually we get over it and move on. I mean hell this two day trip was like a grand, but idgf it was wit my boi. Nevertheless it is what it is.

I'm disappointed by it, but it's not the end of the world. I grew up with little to no friends so this is not unfamiliar territory. Thanks for introducing and showing me DC. Thanks for laughing at the things I said even when they weren't all funny. Thanks for letting me crash when it was too late for me to drive. Thanks for caring for my drunk ass when I didn't know when to leave. And mostly, Thanks for being a part of my life. Gone but not forgotten babes, we move forward.

Besos Tuffie ~ mikey

2k9 wrap-up

....And we're back! We'll call that a hibernation.

I know the year is not over with but I couldn't help and check out last years resolutions and how I fared. Honestly a lot of them slipped my mind but seem like good resolutions. Such is life to plan for good intentions and lose focus on the way.

Well let's see since July my hellish work has got better. I don't like the way things are ran there, but I do have flexible hours (because yeah we work weekends). I met someone...cool guy, mature, awesome in the bed, and likes me. We moved too fast so we've cool'd down. It's been cooooool'd down to friends with benefits. I like him a lot BUT when we talked he said the one thing he couldn't do is let me in his family life. So if I were to pursue this it would be for just him...No dad, mom or son. So being friends is a good thing. The expectations are just that; be cool, chill and have fun. Thanksgiving was spent at my mom's place as usual but we had one member not with us. I really really miss my grandma. I see her in my dreams and when I wake up I have no idea what we were talking about but I smile because I saw her. So that was tough this year, but at the table we focus on the things we are grateful for. And most recently my house has a neeeeeeeeeeeew member; Jordan.

Jordan is a Maltese that I rescued from the Arlington Shelter. He's a year and four months and a good pup. I can tell you waking up in the morning and NOT hitting the snooze alarm several times was almost like having a real baby. I'm sooo tired right now! LOL! *sips dunkin coffee*

That is all right now...I haven't heard or really talked to Marlon since I got this gig. Phoned him when I was in LA seein my grandma for her bday but he was in FL. It's cool how time does heel all wounds but time never goes fast enough...yet when you look in the mirror you can't help but think sometimes- Shit!!! Where the hell has time gone?!? Alright I'm real tired...short workday though! Later

Be easy....

Hey everyone, Happy 4th of July! I had a blast with my sister watching the fireworks last night at this country club called belle haven. Rich snobs there, no sugar daddies lookin tho (tee hee). Our fireworks started before National Harbor's and lasted well afterwards (Booyah! LOL! Yeah I'm bringin that word back).

I'm gonna stay in tonight and watch Team America: World Police (America....Fuck Yeah!). I got a new gym membership yesterday at XSport Fitness so if i c u gym bunnies or u c me there, feel free to tap my shoulder, spot or say wasssup.

Cool cool...aight everyone be easy...this is my last blog entry. I'm drawing more and more away from reality which isn't cool. Ive been layin low on facebook (better than before). My J-O-B (not my career) sucks, but there is a person in there who works with contracts and bidding. So I registered my SSN to MS Enterprise (Nice...nice, right?) and I'm gonna learn what it takes to bid on these contracts. I'll have to keep everything local for now or stay find a night gig so that I am available during daytime hours. A night gig would pay for a business pad and expenses. Well I'll hafta stay at this current evil job to learn what this guy knows and hopefully he can help me grow myself and if I can return the favor for him I def will. Alright guys. Be safe, live, love and enjoy and remember:

Good Family
Good Friends
Good Times

..I'm out!

The old me's dead n gone....dead n gone

I lost that fight, but not that war I still see my nicca walkin out tha door. Don't turn ur head walk away, I'll be back up on my feet some day. Play with my emotions? My nicca that's trife. Go on get the hell on walk out my life! Ooooo I've been waitin for this day soo long. Findin out where we belong. Never knew YOU could be so wrong....now the old me's dead n gone...dead n gone.

Aight I'm gonna blog about this and then move forward. I took myself off of facebook cause I did not know how to address my feelings towards this guy I liked. I figured if I ignored him on here he wouldn't pop up in my profile thus not havin me think about him. But damn you new facebook (ummm yeah I'm still considerin it new) ur stoopid HIGHLIGHTS section should reflect who I ignore.

I don't like not having control over my emotions. I felt like I was a stalker or obsessed so I was like fuck this i'll close my page down and will deal with this situation. When I'm calm cool and collective. So around midnight I get a text from him and I may have had a drink or 6 (but who counts?). So after we were both like ok...love you on SMS I was like go for it. So I owned that I liked him more than a friend and that I think he knows that and like to know if he wanted somethin more or just leave things where they are at.

What could be worse than hearing no? Not hearing a GAWD DAYUM MOTHERFUCKIN THING AT ALL. Now one of my bois who has a real good head on his shoulders said that a week is not long enuf, you probably scared him...think of what he's goin through and how you'd feel. Let him process this. I understand that, but to not have contact or say let's talk later. I mean fuck...anything is better than nothing. A polite No would've been better. But nada. So after day 3 I was crushed that someone I felt so close to as a friend would just let me slip like that, especially him knowing how sensitive I am towards my feelings. (and if u're reading this, you know it)

So I picked myself up...dusted my shoulders, burned a candle and cut my hair. Whatever we had just wasn't their. One day I will learn the value and loyalty of being a friend. I find the masochist approach I have damaging yet not discomforting since I grew up with little to no friends. I'm not gonna say it feels good to cut people out of my life. Toss them aside like rubbish. It doesn't....but I'm done and most likely won't look back. So now it's out there.

On another note my facebook family I have cut off all notifications on here. So don't you feel ignored if I don't get back at you right away. My work loves making me work and we all know how that fuckin excites princess! NOT! Fairy tells shouldn't have 7-4 jobs. lol! It's going ok...i like the team that I got. I couldn't freakin make it in that place without Kristina (seriously! she took a sick day and I was ready to throw the towel in). Ooooh it's raining...*iLuv hearin the rain tap on the roof*. I got a new Dining Room set! Last night Cam, Gary and I went to a furniture store before watchin the proposal (Sandra bullock and Betty White...need i say more???). Walked into a 30% off sale and asked them if the cortona table and chairs were on sale. She said yes. OMG Princess! Put ur AMEX away!!! Show some fuckin discipline! 12months interest free you say??? "Tucks AMEX back in wallet"...let's see what we can work out. So my birthday present to me is my brand new dining room set. Yaaaay! Delivery is next friday. Can't wait!!!!=) *smooches all**

Guts of the Pentagon

Right so I'm about to wrap week two up at the pentagon and I still ain't got a badge. The peeps newer than I have been badged....WTF? Now normally this would irritate me but who am I to complain about lack of work. I just try and be proactive and have answers as to why my beautiful punk ass can't help you =)

My most favorite part of the Pentagon is the gym. OMG! It's soooo fuckin beautiful! Two sides get fulfilled, my workout side. And the horny side! Yes people...marines! *drrrroooooolllll*
So n e ways...after slooowly inspecting the locker rooms (LOL!!! not kidding) I saw lots of wall lockers, a wet/dry sauna and massage room (that I can get daily one hour usage out of! LOL!)
there are three floors. First floor is free weights and machines, 2nd floor is a track floor with some bikes and the third floor is pure cardio machines. There is also a pool and two jacuzzi's. All for the price of $120 ($20 p/mo with 6mos/1 year contract). Eat it bitches, your gyms can't compete!

So one week left at the state dept...and I am in full slack mode (hard to imagine). I'll blog more later ~ cheers

Update on the new gig

So I wake (or attempt) to wake up at 550 every morning now. FML! Only time I saw 550 was after leavin DC drunk off my ass (and I blame the bartenders! They totally own that one!). So after bashing my alarm clock till 630 it's not go time. Relax dirty...we ain't gotta be at work till 8 and we know what we wearing. Shower (rinse & repeat), dress (and FUCK iLook good *_^), do the pocket check and head out the door.

It's 725...TrafficLand show'd traffic flowing nicely. So I don't live like a stone throw away from this interstate. Between that time and two miles on the road, every fuckin owner of a vehicle decided to pile up there! No worries babe, I got you covered...Windows down, viva la vida on. Ahhhhh....I'm so not lettin this traffic Bull-shit fuck me ova. So I get to Foggy Bottom in good time. The Gods must be frustrated that they didn't piss in my cheerios yet, so here we go.

Let's create a metro crisis....*NOW*..! O.M..G! What's going on?!? Metro repairs?? Only one rail is working? Ok...we'll wait. I can't do shit nor am I mechanically inclined to get on the rail and offer assistance. I can motivate! (Shouting INS gets people moving quicker). Ok, so the blue metro heading to sgpfd finally arrives. We're at the Pentagon, let's get in line to get inside.

*Drops Jaw*...WTF?!?! Is this the line to a Britney concert or something?!? Well...I can't call anyone cuz the mobiles don't work in the building. Guess I'll just hafta wait. So it's 9'oclock and I'm finally inside. I grab my badge and am not too worried. These guys owe me comp time for Sunday. I showed up for work on Sunday because I was on the list. APPARENTLY when I wasn't around my boss said this is not set in stone yet. This will happen when he gets word. Well....that's no big deal. Daddy will take care of princess. Princess missed his saturday night, and Daddy ain't lettin that shit go. Someone's gonna pay.

After showing up late, it was clearly time for a coffee break *_^ (I'm still learning how to work, you can't break me in just like that....Oh! And I'm corrupting people too! ;-) iLuv it!) The people I work with on my specific team are awesome! We're all like team players and luv each other. If these chicks love survivor we'll give ourselves a name. Right now I see them all as dirty's angels. We'll call the PM Bosley. So yeah, great day today (even without a login). I'm ready to get started and rule the world. 9 more days at the Dept of State. I'm gonna eat some Pho with my Vietnamese boys today (sorry gym...we'll catch up!) ~pea©e n LuV 2 all~