Therapy & p90x

I luv thursdays. I usually think to myself on the drive home, what am I gonna talk about tomorrow? I can talk my "dream" and the challenges I face letting it go...I can talk about my taco night. Ooooh I can talk about the house and where I'm at on that.

So I get there and I sit down and we talk about last week, how I'm feeling. How my family is doing. I told him how disappointed I was on Saturday and that my feelings were hurt. In anycase I had an epiphany! And it was awesome. As much as I love myself (or at least started in 2008) my whole life I've always put my on a show and acted the way I want to be, but am not. I pretty much wear a mask and don't let those I want to get to know me better, get to know me better. They end up seeing this character and I put forth the energy to be that person.

It was awesome to see myself in that light and it was mutherfucking groundbreaking! I do it like 2nd nature! I sometimes don't know I'm doing it! But now that I've seen it, I'm gonna stand up to it! I'm gonna tell those I love and care about how I feel. I'm not gonna be mean, I will use tact. And if they care about me, like my true friends do then I have nothing to worry about.

They are friends because they want to be and that's beautiful because it's genuine! It's real. It's what I crave. We then talked about my dream. And he asked me if my "dream" were the clingy type, would I still love him. And I again was shocked about my answer. I told him No. I would still love him, but I could never live with him and would grow more and more distant from him. Wouldn't it be great if he was the clingy type tho? What would occupy my mind then? LOL! I guess it would just be myself, family and friends.

Ok, enuf about therapy. p90x! OMG! I thought day one was hard! I can't believe day 2 thought! SQUATS SQUATS SQUATS! OY! Well day 2 is done...88 to go! LOL! time for some food! Yum yum yum! ~c!a0

p90x day 1

yeeeees! 89 days left! LOL! Well here's the dealio on wassup. I snapped those pix a couple days ago and already I'm seeing results! LOL! (hides the hagen daaz). I wasted one day doing the intro DVD and have to print out some worksheets tomorrow (mental note 2 self). So...day one is Chest & Back...O.....M....F....G! I threw up at the end of the workout. I didn't quit, I just did whatever I could do at the end. And man...it was freakin tuff! But i told myself that shit! It's day one dood! I got a mental image of what I wanna see in May and it DEF gets me motivated!

I found two whey isolate protein shakes I can stomach, the other one I'm just gonna tell peeps on facebook that if they want it, it's theirs! Aight I gotta write more later

~c!a0

p90x Challenge!

Well the turkey's been carved...the christmas cookies were DEVOURED..Hawaii there were a couple drinks here and here (don't get me wrong, I found time to sleep) and then taco night. Now it's time to get motivated and "Bring It". Today no working out...setup the equipment, watched the intro movie, got my Ironman(r) Pull-up bar setup (in a closet!) and resistance bars ready to go. Bought some protein shakes (yuk! yuk! yuk!) at the Vitamin Shop. At work I will plan out my meals, drink the bloody shakes and setup a workout time (most likely 10am - 11am). I will continue to workout at workout at work (cardio only).

Above are my Day 1 Pics....In May I will post my finale pics. You and I will be the judge if there is a difference. Drinking is gonna be put on hold because as my sis best put it, I need to do away with the bar trash in DC. I'm gonna go to the REI store I got near me and see what's going on. I won't lie when I say hiking in Jan-Mar doesn't motivate me, but there is always indoor rock climbing and swimming that can be fun...oh duh! And snowboarding! (Josie, don't count me out yet!!!)

Unforgettable

...wow, i really don't have much to say. I don't feel like blogging but feel if I don't I will lose interest or something. Well let's see...therapy has been awesome. I've found different outlets other than my blogs and the gym to deal with my stress. As a matter of fact I'm blogging when I'm suppose to meditate for about 10 mins and chant positive words to myself. I've been given this task so that I can control my anxieties (can't i just be like brittney and pop a pill?). So I use meditation in the morning and whenever something that stresses me out pops in my head I focus on my breathing and acknowledge my thoughts but tell myself I'm focusing on whatever I am doing or breathing in and out. Bottomline, it's working and i'll be glad to let the guy know about these positive results.

Chunky Monkey - O...M...G! I think I've put on weight! I grabbed my face in the mirror and was like "ummmm....r we puttin on the holiday pounds right here?!?!?!". I need to up the cardio in my life and then at work continue using the gym.
Oh! I mentioned the p90x stuff, right? Well I just ordered it all to come in. I'm very excited to do this Jan 1st (or 3rd is when I get back from Hawaii) - April 3rd shots. It is gonna be FUCKIN FABULOUS! I may have to cut down on drinks or maybe more so me fags ~:-(

But yeah I've got some words of encouragement on facebook and will keep myself motivated and show off the results in April. FLAUNT IT DIRTY! FLAUNT IT! LOL! <-- Attention Whore

Ok for someone who didn't feel like typing I think I made a good dent. If I miss this thing after christmas I will be in Hawaii and will blog about that.

Cheers!