Ok so I went to Maine the 16th - 22nd and can sum it up in two words: never again. Seriously? I mean that place was a true awakening to what Im use to in DC/Kuwait. Oh and the flights! OMG! My flight from Newark --> Bangor, Maine was cancelled so that 9 hours later after getting a ticket to Boston and hopping on a shuttle to Bangor I made it there...going back delayed 2 hours and then delayed yet again at Newark. If anyone ever threatens to blow that airport up, I'm sure they'll be doing the majority of the world a favor! DAMN u newark! Oh and Continental with ur cocky flight attendant & dumbass Cap't who wouldn't let ANYONE use the bathroom on flight even though we were delayed, then sat on the runway for an hour and had an hour flight to DC because we may not get up 30mins before flight to DC or 30mins before entering DC...so yeah, you do the math! I called Continental's 1800-WE-CARE (Bullshit! How the fuck did they get that number?!?) and chewed them out and found out...there is no 30 min policy!!! I told them I wanted the federal or whatever policy that they were going off of so I could google it! People hate being researched! Anywho enuf about that...got back to DC...chilled with my pilot buddy Kent (who OF COURSE heard all bout this) and then went home. Went to TOWN on Friday (felt sick as fuck from some bad sushi, but improved over the night) got tipsy happy with Kent and then crashed at his crib. So far so good, yeah...havin a good weekend back. Wakeup...plan a fun saturday and then huh...a cop left his business card on my windshield. hmmm, is he gay? Oh wait theres a note on the back: Accident Property Damage (05/24/2008 - 0700am)...OMG My car's bumper got smashed and rear driver's body dented. (Fast Forward: I got the police report today and he is insured! Thank goodness, his story is he swirved to miss an animal and fucked 7 cars up while doing so). Saw IJ4 and it was good...not topping his other 3, but it was still good!
I thought that by seeing the movie "Recount", it would be like titanic...predictable. So I watched it and relized that while all of this was going on in November I was in basic training the 14th of Nov and didn't get a newspaper (or decent cup of coffee) while in basic....so it was really kinda cool to see what someone interpretted had happened and I like that Gore went all in and tried his best. I think that if anyone was in basic, on drugs for those months of your life or would just like to relive someone else's view on history you should watch that movie *stamped* DIRTY APPROVED.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
The fight between us built within
I really miss talking to him
And hearing his sexy voice
Did I get my feelings hurt
by asking him to make a choice?
Deep down I think its silly
For me to feel the way I feel
Why do I lack control of my emotions?
Why can't I just keep it real?
The last time we spoke
He said some hurtful things
My true self wanted to cry
But my superego stole the scene
I find that when I can't defend myself
My true self cripples up and hides
It's up to my false self, my superego
To give me that inner-strength inside
My superego will convince me:
"Fuck him, you don't need that shit!"
"Who the fuck is this nigga?"
"You're Mike Sanchez and don't play that bit"
"Drop his ass and get some dates"
"It's not like I'm reaching for the stars"
"A sexual attraction, good sense of humor"
"And what the hell guys…own a car!"
I’ll put on my rolex and sport some versace
This makes me somewhat ostentatious
But it builds up my confidence and ego
Damn! I look smart, sexy and flirtatious
But wait superego, slow your roll
I really do care for this guy
His desires, ambitions, his smart intuitions!
He makes me smile more than cry
I understand that as a couple we may not make it
But where does our friendship lie?
My heart still beats strong for him
And I don’t want to lose him over pride
So superego and true self lets work together
And give it another try
For the biggest threat to over come is
Me, Myself and I
And hearing his sexy voice
Did I get my feelings hurt
by asking him to make a choice?
Deep down I think its silly
For me to feel the way I feel
Why do I lack control of my emotions?
Why can't I just keep it real?
The last time we spoke
He said some hurtful things
My true self wanted to cry
But my superego stole the scene
I find that when I can't defend myself
My true self cripples up and hides
It's up to my false self, my superego
To give me that inner-strength inside
My superego will convince me:
"Fuck him, you don't need that shit!"
"Who the fuck is this nigga?"
"You're Mike Sanchez and don't play that bit"
"Drop his ass and get some dates"
"It's not like I'm reaching for the stars"
"A sexual attraction, good sense of humor"
"And what the hell guys…own a car!"
I’ll put on my rolex and sport some versace
This makes me somewhat ostentatious
But it builds up my confidence and ego
Damn! I look smart, sexy and flirtatious
But wait superego, slow your roll
I really do care for this guy
His desires, ambitions, his smart intuitions!
He makes me smile more than cry
I understand that as a couple we may not make it
But where does our friendship lie?
My heart still beats strong for him
And I don’t want to lose him over pride
So superego and true self lets work together
And give it another try
For the biggest threat to over come is
Me, Myself and I
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Promise of a new day
Man, I'm so glad yesterday is done with! It does help to wake up and reflect back on what made me so upset. And like I told myself yesterday, it's not worth it. So I'm at work now keeping myself busy doing whatever I can do to keep my mind preoccupied. Watchin Kill Bill and my office just watched the Suns finally beat San Antone in a game (so i got one friend who is less than thrilled bout that)
Anyways I got a better grasp of my emotions and may be hard to reach this week via phone (u know the drill ladies n gents). Have a great week :0*
Laters ~ mikey
Anyways I got a better grasp of my emotions and may be hard to reach this week via phone (u know the drill ladies n gents). Have a great week :0*
Laters ~ mikey
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Emotional Roller-Coaster
Well had a lot of deep thinkin going on today...I just need to get this off my mind and that's what I'm gonna do. In Kuwait I had friends and we all hung out to party and nothing else. It was cool, you know the peeps...the ones that would never call you, you'd never call them but when you saw them at house parties or wherever they were part of your crew and you guys all drank together. It was cool, yeah? Then you had ur special circle in that group that was made up of the people who actually truly gave a fuck about you. This was your family. They were there for you at parties, work or vacaciones. That was beautiful. These relationships took time to build and I guess maybe I'm trying to rush something that is not there. So my superego started (aka snowballed) when I shot my papi a txt...didn't hear back from him and told myself ahhh, no worries! Not paranoid, lemme hit my sis up....Nothing. O-----K, thats cool I gotta call my friend up n see whats goin on. Cool, he's there. So yeah he's gonna do lunch and gimme a call back in 15 and we'll figure out if we're gonna do lasertag or what. Aight cool, lemme pick out what i wanna wear! I looked totally cute today!
ok well that's subjective, but I was definitely feelin what I had on! So after like an hour I called him back to find out wha was goin on...Um, no answer. Aight, lol...not hearin back from my papi, my sis, and now buddy. Aight let me meet up with this other buddy n we'll hit dupont up. (mental note to self, if you're NS is picking up just go to starbucks n chillax). So I when I got there I told him to come down...we had this convo for like 5mins back and forth. In hindsight if I had called him we prolly wouldn't have had a miscommunication. But I was like you know what, fuck people! I'm gonna go see my dog! Ok, the silver lining here is practicing what I've been learning in this book (Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism). I will not let these people take control of my emotions. I won't! I'm in control of how I feel, NOT THEM. So I put on the right motivating music and was basically like you know what...Fuck this, I'm Mike Sanchez! Wipe that fuckin dirt off ur shoulder papi. So my first thoughts we're fuck friends numba one. We never hang out unless what we're drinking and is that it? Really? All we do is get drunk together? Aight, fair enuf! I had those buddies in Kuwait. Gotcha, I'm not reaching the fuck out any more, I'm not gonna care about whats going on in ur life...we'll just use each other's company at the bar or clubs! Coolio! Next, my papi...I'm gonna give you some space. I'm not paranoid that you didn't answer me but puttin everything together I've been clingin onto the emotional high you give me whenever we txt/talk. It almost feels like self-punishment to tell myself that I'm gonna leave the ball in your court and whenever you wanna hit me up that'll just put a big ass grin on my face. I love you babe, and you know I do...Ur happiness is my happiness. I've never felt a love as surreal as the love you give me, and I don't know if this is a normal feeling or me becoming dependent. Anyone who knows me know I'm a HUGE advocate on being independent. I mean yeah if you're startin back up again I can dig the co-dependent stuff...u gotta build up then go, but to thrive off of other people like a leach...No thanks!
I just got lost in thought...where was I? Oh yeah, so anyway papi "Te quiero mucho" and u know that. Lets see...friend number one I wanted you in my special circle but you've turned out to be one of my biggest disappointment...I saw ur ambition, goal-oriented attitude and was like WoW! who does that remind me of, minus the college ~;-), but I get it...clearly a true friendship isn't what I'm gonna get out of this so yeah fine ur a bar buddy...that's all, papi - i miss ya...that's all, um sis get's an automatic pass because fuck...once ur family ur family ;-* (Miss ya! Can't wait ta see u in June!)
Friend numero dos - I got nothing for ya....that's all (insert Miranda - Runway)
Aight...bedtime, I got work manana (UgH! How many days till Thursday??? LoL!)
ok well that's subjective, but I was definitely feelin what I had on! So after like an hour I called him back to find out wha was goin on...Um, no answer. Aight, lol...not hearin back from my papi, my sis, and now buddy. Aight let me meet up with this other buddy n we'll hit dupont up. (mental note to self, if you're NS is picking up just go to starbucks n chillax). So I when I got there I told him to come down...we had this convo for like 5mins back and forth. In hindsight if I had called him we prolly wouldn't have had a miscommunication. But I was like you know what, fuck people! I'm gonna go see my dog! Ok, the silver lining here is practicing what I've been learning in this book (Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism). I will not let these people take control of my emotions. I won't! I'm in control of how I feel, NOT THEM. So I put on the right motivating music and was basically like you know what...Fuck this, I'm Mike Sanchez! Wipe that fuckin dirt off ur shoulder papi. So my first thoughts we're fuck friends numba one. We never hang out unless what we're drinking and is that it? Really? All we do is get drunk together? Aight, fair enuf! I had those buddies in Kuwait. Gotcha, I'm not reaching the fuck out any more, I'm not gonna care about whats going on in ur life...we'll just use each other's company at the bar or clubs! Coolio! Next, my papi...I'm gonna give you some space. I'm not paranoid that you didn't answer me but puttin everything together I've been clingin onto the emotional high you give me whenever we txt/talk. It almost feels like self-punishment to tell myself that I'm gonna leave the ball in your court and whenever you wanna hit me up that'll just put a big ass grin on my face. I love you babe, and you know I do...Ur happiness is my happiness. I've never felt a love as surreal as the love you give me, and I don't know if this is a normal feeling or me becoming dependent. Anyone who knows me know I'm a HUGE advocate on being independent. I mean yeah if you're startin back up again I can dig the co-dependent stuff...u gotta build up then go, but to thrive off of other people like a leach...No thanks!I just got lost in thought...where was I? Oh yeah, so anyway papi "Te quiero mucho" and u know that. Lets see...friend number one I wanted you in my special circle but you've turned out to be one of my biggest disappointment...I saw ur ambition, goal-oriented attitude and was like WoW! who does that remind me of, minus the college ~;-), but I get it...clearly a true friendship isn't what I'm gonna get out of this so yeah fine ur a bar buddy...that's all, papi - i miss ya...that's all, um sis get's an automatic pass because fuck...once ur family ur family ;-* (Miss ya! Can't wait ta see u in June!)
Friend numero dos - I got nothing for ya....that's all (insert Miranda - Runway)
Aight...bedtime, I got work manana (UgH! How many days till Thursday??? LoL!)
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Thursday!
Oh praise Allah! It's finally Thursday!!! Time for my ritual! Go to Capitol City Brewing Co and have my two victory beers! This weekend has the potential of bein packed or laid back...either way I'm totally stoked that it's like here n stuff! I've been growin more and more in love with Marlon as we talk on the phone / chat...I'm waiting for this big letdown because I've been feeling pretty high/intense this week and I know when I crash I crash HARD! I'm also sooooo happy for my friend Christina! She's got her hubby back which means we can prolly have a normal friendship now and not get on each others nerves High Five n Snap it ova ya left shoulda girl! w00t w00t! lol!
Friday I'm gonna chillax at home or check out Christians cherry red miata (jealous? huh doy! lol)
Sat at 3pm i'm gonna join a group n play sum laser tag...haven't done it in a while (but thats a whole nutha story *bah dum bum psssh*) but it'll be fun no matter what meeting new peeps that aren't in the gay scene....at least that's what naive me thinks! lol!
Thats it for the weekend stuff...Self-improvement is going well (one step at a time): I kicked paranoia in the nuts at least 3 times this week...and it felt great. Everyone, HAVE A FUCKIN FABULOUS WEEKEND! *MuAH* ~:-P
Friday I'm gonna chillax at home or check out Christians cherry red miata (jealous? huh doy! lol)
Sat at 3pm i'm gonna join a group n play sum laser tag...haven't done it in a while (but thats a whole nutha story *bah dum bum psssh*) but it'll be fun no matter what meeting new peeps that aren't in the gay scene....at least that's what naive me thinks! lol!
Thats it for the weekend stuff...Self-improvement is going well (one step at a time): I kicked paranoia in the nuts at least 3 times this week...and it felt great. Everyone, HAVE A FUCKIN FABULOUS WEEKEND! *MuAH* ~:-P
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Trunks!
Ok ok...so I was watching a commercial on TV and Hooters is hiring. So I thought it would be funny if a tranny like applied for that job...n scrunched the goods! lol..And then I was thinkin, why don't we have a gay hooters or better yet...Trunks?
What gay guy wouldn't want sum trunks servin them a piece of meat (and shut the fuck up if you're thinkin...NO!) I wonder what the costs of doing a restaurant business are, and of course serving alcohol. Finding servers wouldn't be tuff cuz OMG! There are soo many hot gay/straight guys that could def use the cash to burn at TOWN or wherever (LoL! Ok, maybe its just me that needs that hard cash right now). Suga-Free red bull with Absolut, pleeeease!
Research Research Research...I'm gonna ask the two guys who are business smart what they think. If it doesn't sound like a winner, I had fun drawin that elephants trunk! LoL!! ~ holla
weekends gooo waaaaay 2 fassssst!
Wow so this weekend is already over with??? WTF? Well at least I finally get to come into work on a day with thunderstorms and rain. Last couple of weeks its been like sunny n stuff...*PsSsH* OMG, i blew through a couple hundred bucks at the bar! Shizer! I think sumone needs ta tone his weekend like waaaaaaay down or start winkin at the right bartenders ;-)
I really do miss Jess at town...well aside from the hookups on drinks NO ONE there can top his smile...and i'm like all bout the smiles n stuff :)
So yeah...ummm Friday I punished my liver and heard some interesting stories....I'm not a fighter but apparently i was hittin this dood and had to apologize the next day when this was pointed out to me...Absolut n Red Bull...bring out the false self in you. So yeah the next day I was waaay better in the behavior mode. Didn't drink that much (I swear! lol)...crashed at my bois place. Sat i dragged my drunk ass outta bed n drove around VA lookin for some good eats with my friend DJ. Ummmm wow, we like didn't have much luck with plan A which was eating at TO DAIs, but Tau Tau was open & you know me n Tau Tau! Lol! (Good leftovers BTW).
Headed towards TOWN (yes yes, on a sat)...met up with the bday boy & friends...Something hit me like a switch and I got aggitated. At that point I had to walk off on my own...met up with more people...still aggitated and then saw Cam and forgot what the fuck I was pissed off bout (Ummm Thanks Cam! loL!) We'll just chuck that up to alcohol! It's America, and it wouldn't be American of me to own up to my own faults, right? lol! Aight i hope everyone else had a good weekend...I got some big reading to do and if my boss doesn't show up (en challa) i see a potential nap in my future! w00t w00t!
I really do miss Jess at town...well aside from the hookups on drinks NO ONE there can top his smile...and i'm like all bout the smiles n stuff :)
So yeah...ummm Friday I punished my liver and heard some interesting stories....I'm not a fighter but apparently i was hittin this dood and had to apologize the next day when this was pointed out to me...Absolut n Red Bull...bring out the false self in you. So yeah the next day I was waaay better in the behavior mode. Didn't drink that much (I swear! lol)...crashed at my bois place. Sat i dragged my drunk ass outta bed n drove around VA lookin for some good eats with my friend DJ. Ummmm wow, we like didn't have much luck with plan A which was eating at TO DAIs, but Tau Tau was open & you know me n Tau Tau! Lol! (Good leftovers BTW).
Headed towards TOWN (yes yes, on a sat)...met up with the bday boy & friends...Something hit me like a switch and I got aggitated. At that point I had to walk off on my own...met up with more people...still aggitated and then saw Cam and forgot what the fuck I was pissed off bout (Ummm Thanks Cam! loL!) We'll just chuck that up to alcohol! It's America, and it wouldn't be American of me to own up to my own faults, right? lol! Aight i hope everyone else had a good weekend...I got some big reading to do and if my boss doesn't show up (en challa) i see a potential nap in my future! w00t w00t!
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