Tuesday, May 26, 2009

1st day @ the Pentagon

***SKIP TO END TO BYPASS THIS BLAH BLAH BLAH BS***

WELL! *ahem* I woke up to the lovely sounds of birds chirping away at 0530. This is not a mis-type. 0530 in the morning. Decided to get an early start and get shower for the new position. I had everything ready to go for the big day. So the shirt I wanted to wear I found out required cuff links...SHIT! Ok ok...no worries! I got another shirt that looks great with black pants. Eat some cereal and head out.

I got on the road by 0630 and hit up starbucks....Ahhhh! Nothing like starting the day with a double tall skim no foam latte...mmmmm! Soooo good! N e ways, I got on 395 and O...M....G! Traffic! (*insert a huge f'in DUH*). So battled my way through seminary rd and the got smooth sailing. NOW! I can't park @ the Pentagon - (I can't even get a badge! But we'll get to that soon, don't you worry!). So I went to my parking spot at the Dept of State and foggy bottom'd to Pentagon. That wasn't so bad. Rosslyn & Arlington Cemetery were the only stops in between. So I got someplace early (and for those of you who know me, you can pick ur jaw off the ground. It happens SELDOMLY *_^). I get there and here is where the MISCOMMUNICATION begins. Now I specifically asked before hand what the dress code was. No big deal if I gotta where a tie, I just don't want to show management up by looking better. So i was told Shirt & Slacks. I did that. *ahem* tell me...why is the guy (my co-worker wearing a noose?). UGGGGH! Alright Dirty...calm down. Let it go.

So I met the guy and he's preparing me before I enter the chaotic circus. So there's two of us. Myself and Eileen. Eileen is sweet. She had a coach bag. We hit it off right away (i'm just a slave for fashion!). She is coming from 12 hour shifts. So apparently we both are in this to get away from shift work. Both have a military background. Cool! So we get throught the....
looooong....
....long.....
badge process. Enter the half-baked RUNWAY headquarters. The first people who welcomed us must've been on prozac to be smiling at what was going on under their nose. The people who are suppose to train us are being let go. So you can imagine how FANTASTIC that training is going! Ha Ha Ha...*i'm getting wrinkles as we speak*

So...a red flag that I caught earlier in my offer letter, no job title. I was joking with my sis when I caught that and said "Shit! For the money they payin me, they can call me BIATCH as long as the checks come in on time". Well they may as well have taken the words from my mouth. When we sat at the table my boss welcomed me and Eileen and said, Soooooo I don't know you two...Don't have copies of ur resumes. Here's the list of jobs we need filled.
Messaging we look fine right now unless this person actually leaves (FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!)
...any of you two have data experience (Ummmmm......No! And I don't have an MCDBA *_-)
..how about AD, do you got that? (Shut up Mike! Don't Do it!!!).."I got AD experience" (ooooo! Bugger!). You do? Ok well you'll train on that and get us going.

Get us going? What the fuck?? Did I just volunteer for AD??? Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyat! Alright, whatever I'll administer it. So an M$ guy is talking to me about the network because the Sr and ONLY AD guy left the pentagon on Friday (fuckin' fantastic! Like I'd get shit out of him n e ways). So after reviewing the diagrams something is dawning on me. Where the fuck are the engineers?!? Wait Wait Wait....WHAT?!?!??! What do you mean I'm the Sr MS Engineer lead for AD?!??!?! Are you fuckin MAD?!?!?!? OMG & FUCK ME SIDEWAYS!!!! Is this for real?!?!? Now I'm really white-knucklin it!! Daddy needs two shots and a fag, STAT!!!!!

So after that newsbreak I went to see Ken (the boss). Before I could open my mouth he asked if I too was on a half day program. Quickly I started shakin my head up n down thinking to myself I gotta get outta here! I gotta get out of here! (picture that lady on the movie Airplane! Yes! Just like that!!!!). Then he sweetened the pot by saying...Oh so I guess you're only here for a couple days? Uhhh huh....yup! That's wassup! So tomorrow should be my last show of the week I think. I went home, watched some good porn and felt relieved. Decided that until I know my schedule is 7-3pm that I was going to leave my options open. Until they guarantee me my 7-3 I can not be entirely on board.

Aight for you all who jump'd to the end here are the pros & cons
Pro:
M-F (mostly)
More $$$
Good work hours
Go from Admin --> Sr. Engineer
I'm not the weakest link

Cons:
Hours not set in stone (they operate from 5am-9pm)
One Sunday a month I gotta be there
No OVERTIME
The environment is very chaotic
No gym
Company doesn't pay for parking
Once again I am the only gay in the village

3 comments:

M. said...

Picky picky for this economy.

Basilio Bocalan said...

Trust...you're not the only gay in the environment. ^_^

Dirty said...

Moi? Picky! Egh! Pa de tu mon maricellina! I just want to avoid stress wrinkles *_^

And BB no respectable queen would hang around that clusterfuck. Lucky for them I got low low standards (Bitch has gotta make the rent! LOL)