~*FRIENDSHIP*~
I need for you to realize you had my heart untold
It wasn't mine to give, yet it was just as good as sold
The quirks that I have make me judge myself inside
I can be harsh, bitter and confused. Yet my ego holds its pride
But always know that I love you and believe what we have is fate
And that I don't expect it back, you don't need to reciprocate
As far as 2nd place goes, your friendship is my consolation prize
It took me time to realize that it was I who must compromise
Just know that you are the most brilliant man I've ever met
You challenge my mind and heart, so I reap the benefits
The journey life has taken us still strikes hunger in my eyes
I wonder where we'll end up? Where do our futures lie?
Letting go of a dream; that was the hardest part!
But time heals all wounds, and I found solace in my heart
I gotta wrap this up babe, and just got one last thing to say:
You are my friend forever; have a Happy Thanksgiving Day!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
AZ on hold (weekend)
New things in Life:
* My grandma moving to VA
* Therapy
* House Hunting
* Apt Hunting
* Guy Fishing
Ok so I thought that this weekend was gonna be a total 'CODE BLUE! CODE BLUE!' (this is not a drill)...I thought my grandma who was close to life support two weeks ago was ready to fly to VA. She's done some amazing recovery, but her doc won't let her fly for at least four weeks and then he'll check up with her. So she's counting the days down till she moves to VA. I was cramming family time this friday thinking that after Friday that was it...they will be stressed out and the seas won't be calm/settle till some time. Anywho, that is not the case. We def have time to prep for my grandma's arrival which RoCkS!
Therapy...initial consult went well. The guy didn't tell me to jump out his window head first and actually wants to continue to link up. So that's great! We just went over my history from childhood and I let my crazies out slowly...don't wanna scare him just yet :)
I won't see him this comin thursday cuz of turkey n stuff but i'm really lookin forward to that next visit n stuff =)
House Hunting- I must admit that I do like house hunting (till my ADHD kicks in). I like lookin at the architecture of a house and how the inside is setup. And then of course visioning walls knocked out and addin other cool stuff. So I went up to Lorton with my mom and saw this massive house. It looked nice, except they used plastic shelving and crap in the closets. That was lame and also the house was in a new housing development (Ugh! Little boxes on the hillside...little boxes made of tic...)
Apt Hunting - Well my sis wants to get outta springfield, so I'm lookin at diff apts in Arlington (townhome style) that has at least 3 floors, 2BR and 2 full baths. I'm hopin a bitchin deal comes up in the windgate community (cuz tha place is fückin fabül0us!)
Guy Fishing - Man...Heh! This sport would be real fun if I didn't have to be the asshole that says "Who did you come with? Oh well u should go find them". People should just be like "hey it was cool talkin wit you...i'm gonna walk around. Here's my number if you wanna shoot the shit sometime". Now THAT is whats up! But after clingy spice left iDid say hi to this guy who's been eyeballin me fo a minute. He seems cute so we'll see whats up.
Hope everyone has a good thanksgivin and enjoys their family ~ c!a0
* My grandma moving to VA
* Therapy
* House Hunting
* Apt Hunting
* Guy Fishing
Ok so I thought that this weekend was gonna be a total 'CODE BLUE! CODE BLUE!' (this is not a drill)...I thought my grandma who was close to life support two weeks ago was ready to fly to VA. She's done some amazing recovery, but her doc won't let her fly for at least four weeks and then he'll check up with her. So she's counting the days down till she moves to VA. I was cramming family time this friday thinking that after Friday that was it...they will be stressed out and the seas won't be calm/settle till some time. Anywho, that is not the case. We def have time to prep for my grandma's arrival which RoCkS!
Therapy...initial consult went well. The guy didn't tell me to jump out his window head first and actually wants to continue to link up. So that's great! We just went over my history from childhood and I let my crazies out slowly...don't wanna scare him just yet :)
I won't see him this comin thursday cuz of turkey n stuff but i'm really lookin forward to that next visit n stuff =)
House Hunting- I must admit that I do like house hunting (till my ADHD kicks in). I like lookin at the architecture of a house and how the inside is setup. And then of course visioning walls knocked out and addin other cool stuff. So I went up to Lorton with my mom and saw this massive house. It looked nice, except they used plastic shelving and crap in the closets. That was lame and also the house was in a new housing development (Ugh! Little boxes on the hillside...little boxes made of tic...)
Apt Hunting - Well my sis wants to get outta springfield, so I'm lookin at diff apts in Arlington (townhome style) that has at least 3 floors, 2BR and 2 full baths. I'm hopin a bitchin deal comes up in the windgate community (cuz tha place is fückin fabül0us!)
Guy Fishing - Man...Heh! This sport would be real fun if I didn't have to be the asshole that says "Who did you come with? Oh well u should go find them". People should just be like "hey it was cool talkin wit you...i'm gonna walk around. Here's my number if you wanna shoot the shit sometime". Now THAT is whats up! But after clingy spice left iDid say hi to this guy who's been eyeballin me fo a minute. He seems cute so we'll see whats up.
Hope everyone has a good thanksgivin and enjoys their family ~ c!a0
Friday, November 21, 2008
Survivor Gab..(on)
Ok right off that bat, ever since you ladies took a bite from the forbidden fruit the first thought of knowledge you had was "How am I gonna get Adam to eat this?". Evil! Evil! Evil! Evil! Ok let's move onto Survivor. Now we all saw throughout the show that Randy was gonna get eliminated. Ok no problem, take a bow asshole and leave. The pure diabolical thinking of Sugar was outstanding drama that left my jaw dropping and laughing in the NCC (where I work). OMFG I fuckin loved it. Not only do you have the votes of being kicked out, but we're gonna take it up a level. Just for shits and grins, we're gonna have YOUR TEAMMATE (Bob) give you his fake immunity idol so that you can play it...and then we can all have one last laugh before you get yo shit and GO! Ohhhhh! It was fuckin beautiful! God bless DVR cuz I watched that scene 10 times from the part where Crystal blasted Randy out loud in the judging booth, to Jeff takin away his fire. Beautiful. I fuckin loved it! And man did I need this laugh! Have a terrific weekend ~*mUaH*~
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
opposes Prop 8....HOWEVER!
Wow...lots of things rollin in my head! I'll blog when i get 2 work!
Ok so I get to work and see that Connecticut has passed gay marriage. So my thoughts on this. Like any new idea that you bring onto the general public you kinda wanna crawl before walking. Somethings even deal with being decent to humans. We can look at over 400 years at how changes have been made.
From Slavery to Freedom, From Freedom to Segregation, From Segregation to Integration and from Integration to the Voting Act of 1964. Equal rights don't just happen over night.
Myself, I can appreciate seeing us stepping to the right direction. I could appreciate civil unions granting two men/women the same rights as a married couple. Drop the whole word marriage out of the equation. Years from now, people (not everyone) will numb down to the idea of marriage just being marriage. WE WILL NOT SEE THIS IN OUR LIFETIME, but we have to make positive footsteps in the right direction. Now I believe people have the right to pursue happiness. So if the direction the US is taking is not what you are looking for, then go pursue happiness....why make yourself miserable? I understand fighting for your rights, but if we can get civil unions approved, then that is a HUGE step in the right direction. I will re-iterate that we HAVE TO crawl before we walk.
400 years ago, you couldn't tell the people of America that we would have a black president. Hell 2 years ago people were saying "The US isn't ready for black president". It was joked/talked about on many TV programs. Wow....I mean WOW! I love seeing progress, and this is huge. I'd also love to see the gay community make progress....ONE STEP AT A TIME. Ok, I've said what I had to say about Prop 8 & Gay Marriage.
Ok so I get to work and see that Connecticut has passed gay marriage. So my thoughts on this. Like any new idea that you bring onto the general public you kinda wanna crawl before walking. Somethings even deal with being decent to humans. We can look at over 400 years at how changes have been made.
From Slavery to Freedom, From Freedom to Segregation, From Segregation to Integration and from Integration to the Voting Act of 1964. Equal rights don't just happen over night.
Myself, I can appreciate seeing us stepping to the right direction. I could appreciate civil unions granting two men/women the same rights as a married couple. Drop the whole word marriage out of the equation. Years from now, people (not everyone) will numb down to the idea of marriage just being marriage. WE WILL NOT SEE THIS IN OUR LIFETIME, but we have to make positive footsteps in the right direction. Now I believe people have the right to pursue happiness. So if the direction the US is taking is not what you are looking for, then go pursue happiness....why make yourself miserable? I understand fighting for your rights, but if we can get civil unions approved, then that is a HUGE step in the right direction. I will re-iterate that we HAVE TO crawl before we walk.
400 years ago, you couldn't tell the people of America that we would have a black president. Hell 2 years ago people were saying "The US isn't ready for black president". It was joked/talked about on many TV programs. Wow....I mean WOW! I love seeing progress, and this is huge. I'd also love to see the gay community make progress....ONE STEP AT A TIME. Ok, I've said what I had to say about Prop 8 & Gay Marriage.
Biggest Loser: BlindSide
No fuckin way! Did you guys catch that episode?!? Ok well I didn't eat pizza this time while watchin the show but my heart dipped when I saw what's her name...Michelle go below the yellow line. Then Brady went under the line and of course that the naive blue team is winkin like "Psssh! We got you"...But oh was Amy smart! She KNOWS that she is NOT on the friendly four. So she took one of her threats out! I sooooo think that she should just get a black shirt and head back over with Jill. Her team is gonna treat her like SHIT....At least Vicky is gonna fuck with her head. She needs to outbeat Vicky...I want her gone!
Ok, awesome episode...lots of drama (sorry Phil, I don't like those blue guys)...SHIT! Gimme last season! 1, 2, 3 PRIDE!
Ok, awesome episode...lots of drama (sorry Phil, I don't like those blue guys)...SHIT! Gimme last season! 1, 2, 3 PRIDE!
Sunday, November 9, 2008
New Blog....New Year
New blog, new year! Starting this December I will no longer post up my personal thoughts. I am going to jot those down in my private blog. I will keep this blog open to discuss non-personal issues, health stuff, jibber jabber shit and of course I will keep my p90x challenge results on this blog.
iNotice that when iWrite my blogs I tend to somewhat censor what is on my mind because you just never know who is reading. I've got so many thoughts that plague my mind...things that iNeed to talk with people about yet have not found that person who I can open up these inner personal thoughts to. Tiff is great, I talk to her about what is on my mind and get feedback that is just sort of...generic. It's great advice all the same but not what I crave. My sis offers good advice too.
I need someone's who was afraid to open up to others, who's been alone. Jumping into the club scene and trying to pick guys like melons ain't working. There's always gonna be something wrong with someone...that's what makes us all fuckin unique. So what is it gonna take for me to compromise and tolerate faults or flaws of others? I dunno....but this is something that I will explore and document. I do know this...There is NOTHING satisfying about a load of bread and bucket of water being handed to you. Satisfaction neither lies by handing a starving man a crumb of bread or allowing him to quench his thirst on a drop of water. In-between is that I want...Thanks for all the e-mails, chats and phone calls for those who have stuck by and helped me out. It was and is appreciated. Be safe over the holidays oO<:-D
~c!a0
iNotice that when iWrite my blogs I tend to somewhat censor what is on my mind because you just never know who is reading. I've got so many thoughts that plague my mind...things that iNeed to talk with people about yet have not found that person who I can open up these inner personal thoughts to. Tiff is great, I talk to her about what is on my mind and get feedback that is just sort of...generic. It's great advice all the same but not what I crave. My sis offers good advice too.
I need someone's who was afraid to open up to others, who's been alone. Jumping into the club scene and trying to pick guys like melons ain't working. There's always gonna be something wrong with someone...that's what makes us all fuckin unique. So what is it gonna take for me to compromise and tolerate faults or flaws of others? I dunno....but this is something that I will explore and document. I do know this...There is NOTHING satisfying about a load of bread and bucket of water being handed to you. Satisfaction neither lies by handing a starving man a crumb of bread or allowing him to quench his thirst on a drop of water. In-between is that I want...Thanks for all the e-mails, chats and phone calls for those who have stuck by and helped me out. It was and is appreciated. Be safe over the holidays oO<:-D
~c!a0
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