Last post today! I SWEAR! But OMG did you guys catch Jersey Shore last night? How fuckin crazy was that??? I really wish someone would "care" about me enough to trash my shit like Ronnie did to Sami. I'd be like Carrie muthafuckin Underwood and Nicki Minaj and get my Louisville Slugger! Just ta show the ni99a how much I luv him back!
Honestly that was a hawt episode and now I'm like sooooo tired to be at work. Can't wait to hit the gym, work it out and then head home. What's good this weekend? I'm not sure...no drinky drinky
Friday, February 11, 2011
Getting cut up
So I've finally decided that I'm happy with my chest and arms. And now it is time to get cut up but keep the mass I'm at. I've been reading articles on how to get this swimmer build. I must not sacrifice protein! I must ingest more to ensure that my body takes away the fat and not the muscle. So here's the plan. Lots of water, no alcohol, lots of protein and mega cardio.
I need to pickup swimming, running (been working at that again), eating healthier *whole foods here I come!* and still doing weight lifting but maintaining my current weights, not exceeding 225 on the bench *POW*. I'm real confident I can find ways to get cut, but I need the motivation.
Standing shirtless with a newspaper in front of me doesn't work. I need a cardio-buddy. I got Matt who I can keep up with at the gym and sometimes we do cardio. Reese will be ready to run outside once it gets warmer. My diet will play a big factor. What should and shouldn't I have for breakfast? Is Reese's Puffs outta the question? How bout an egg, cheese and sausage sandwich? Too much sodium? I think if I could find a nutritionist that could make my food....wait a minute!
Ok just checked out the let's dish website and saw some "OK" things. I need to hit whole foods/trader joes up and see what food I can get. I luv veggies and fish so that's a good thing. Not a big chicken fan anymore...I'll hafta learn to luv pickles since they're calorie free.
If anyone has any fav dishes that are low in cal, sat fat and sodium please dish! TGIF!
I need to pickup swimming, running (been working at that again), eating healthier *whole foods here I come!* and still doing weight lifting but maintaining my current weights, not exceeding 225 on the bench *POW*. I'm real confident I can find ways to get cut, but I need the motivation.
Standing shirtless with a newspaper in front of me doesn't work. I need a cardio-buddy. I got Matt who I can keep up with at the gym and sometimes we do cardio. Reese will be ready to run outside once it gets warmer. My diet will play a big factor. What should and shouldn't I have for breakfast? Is Reese's Puffs outta the question? How bout an egg, cheese and sausage sandwich? Too much sodium? I think if I could find a nutritionist that could make my food....wait a minute!
Ok just checked out the let's dish website and saw some "OK" things. I need to hit whole foods/trader joes up and see what food I can get. I luv veggies and fish so that's a good thing. Not a big chicken fan anymore...I'll hafta learn to luv pickles since they're calorie free.
If anyone has any fav dishes that are low in cal, sat fat and sodium please dish! TGIF!
It's 2011 Sharepoint...why are we not mobile friendly?
I'm actually writing this blog in hopes that some super duper oober smart daedal (word of the day yesterday) sharepoint rock star is gonna comment and say: tooo easy! Here's what you do BUT until then here is my issue:
I want my SharePoint calendar to sync up to my iPhone. I get email off my exchange server and Google calendar. I can sync my sharepoint to exchange, but the alerts off the sharepoint calendar to not go to my phone. Is there a way to two-way sync (mirror) my sharepoint calendar to outlook thus taking care of alerts on my exchange server, get google calendar to sync with sharepoint or just plain point my sharepoint calendar to my iphone calendar?
WHY OH WHY IS IT 2011 and this issue not yet addressed? As a geek I'm not thrilled with the search results. One of you developers find me a solution so that I can implement it and appear like a GaWd to my co-workers who have no clue neither. Thank-you...on to the next blog
I want my SharePoint calendar to sync up to my iPhone. I get email off my exchange server and Google calendar. I can sync my sharepoint to exchange, but the alerts off the sharepoint calendar to not go to my phone. Is there a way to two-way sync (mirror) my sharepoint calendar to outlook thus taking care of alerts on my exchange server, get google calendar to sync with sharepoint or just plain point my sharepoint calendar to my iphone calendar?
WHY OH WHY IS IT 2011 and this issue not yet addressed? As a geek I'm not thrilled with the search results. One of you developers find me a solution so that I can implement it and appear like a GaWd to my co-workers who have no clue neither. Thank-you...on to the next blog
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
can not believe its only tuesday
It's really been a looooong week at work and i want friday to be here now. I'm gonna do some heavy family and me time for a bit. If the dog park is dry I'd really like to take Reese and maybe meet a friend up.
Not a big blog today...just really wish it was Friday. Night world
Not a big blog today...just really wish it was Friday. Night world
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Find that inner strength
I love the message conveyed. Find that strength inside you...be the hero.
I think I'm gonna be low key for a min and re-evaluate what's really going on...TTFN
~ Dirty
Personal Rant: May the chips fall where they fall
To add on to the last blog and of course at 352am (brought to you by Patron & Grey Goose) I've decided to also let go people who do not help me progress in life. On principle I like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. If enough people tell you dog shit tastes like dog shit though you tend to be leery. So I can't help but be attracted to jerks. Well if that's the case then did I not learn a damn thing from the past. This guy hangs with our group of friends and I'm ready to let go and just be left alone for a minute.
This night probably wouldn't have happened had I not had driven my friends and their plus one to town. The plus one is the ex of the guy I messed around with. *RED FLAGS* what happened last time? What did we learn? So after drinks and everything he owns how he and his ex still mess around. Disturbing but not surprising. I'm not sure I believe him entirely but when you got a shitty reputation or that of being a player it's not hard to imagine. I'm not gonna cold blind ignore him but will let him know through a face to face that I gotta let him go and that I hope their is no animosity towards us. It does hurt cuz I got feelings for him, but I love myself much more than to let myself fall for a 3 or 4 when I dealt with a 7 and 8 in love. I will address this tomorrow and then move on towards my 30s. Over it!!!
Done done done.....let me unbind, unleash, relinquish, release....
This night probably wouldn't have happened had I not had driven my friends and their plus one to town. The plus one is the ex of the guy I messed around with. *RED FLAGS* what happened last time? What did we learn? So after drinks and everything he owns how he and his ex still mess around. Disturbing but not surprising. I'm not sure I believe him entirely but when you got a shitty reputation or that of being a player it's not hard to imagine. I'm not gonna cold blind ignore him but will let him know through a face to face that I gotta let him go and that I hope their is no animosity towards us. It does hurt cuz I got feelings for him, but I love myself much more than to let myself fall for a 3 or 4 when I dealt with a 7 and 8 in love. I will address this tomorrow and then move on towards my 30s. Over it!!!
Done done done.....let me unbind, unleash, relinquish, release....
Saturday, February 5, 2011
ahhhh where to jib n jab today
GOOD MORNING WORLD
It's february and I'm still on the red carpet waving away my 20s. 30s is gonna be all about self-improvement. I've taken the baby steps of owning who I am but there is something I haven't chipped away yet and I'm afraid to let it go.
MY IMAGe
Am I walking down the catwalk in jeans and a no name brand t-shirt or am I walking down in this fabulous outfit brought to you Nordstroms? It's hard to say but when I look back at my pics I didn't care what I wore and part of me thinks *UGH! Fashion victim!* what a mess! And the other part is like....that's real!
So I guess maybe a good thing to do would be compromise. Real friends will like you for being you. Be real with yourself and when you can accept that person you'll find this confidence n swag about you that will attract the right kind of guy who will be into you and not this image you work hard to portray
Single
This part has concerned me for a while. I hafta love myself fully before sharing this guy with someone else. My other issue is wanting what I can't have. Someone who wants to give themselves to me doesn't interest me yet oddly when I see a guy playing hard to get I play the role of throwin myself at them (not hardcore tho...i'm not dense). I'm not the guy that likes to hookup. I would honestly rather have something solid and real in life. I worked my butt off in life and would love nothing more than to have someone that compliments my personality to share it with. I have these male figures who have made impressions on my life and hurt me. And we all know the pain a heart goes through...imagine not having those feelings until you hit 27! I got sooo much catching up and maturing in this area to do. Marlon was the first man I ever intimately loved and had feelings for. I could still picture him as my superman. Darrell took the other piece of my heart and after reading my blogs and seeing how although I was rejected but still kept him for sex I can't blame him for my immature actions. I knew what I wanted, it wasn't available so I set out to hurt him like he hurt me. P!nk describes this situation PERFECTLY!!!
Four days of personnel hell of after saying I LOVE YOU to have nothing...no hug, no communication. Just family there to pick me up. He hurt the hell out of me...more so I hurt myself because I could not come to terms with reality. I've cut guys out of my life no problem...I thought I had lost that part of my personality but Marlon helped me find it when I cut him out of life (update - We talk, we're better friends now that I've accepted the reality of friendship. The feeling is that of a calm lake in a volcano lol! And I feel that the only person that can make this volcano erupt is me, so it takes a little bit of energy to focus on other things in life so that I don't go there). Back to Darrell and how mean and nasty I decided to be...for the pain the TRUE PAIN i went through for four days and missing my birthday I used the powers of manipulation and my mean side to basically bake a FUCK YOU cake. I showed excitement and commitment to being at his promotion ceremony and on the day it happened bailed out on that. That took care of the "not being there" / birthday issue. Last item...my broken heart. I can't break someone's heart who doesn't love me...so when I saw his ex of 10years at TOWN and he told me that I was with his man during the time they were together I had to pause. Here it was...in a pretty box and bow! Do I take the bait? Yes! The last item on the list...befriend the ex and tell him what he wanted to know. The ex used that information and it got back to him (months later but it hit). Dealing with an ex you may or may not have feelings, but dealing with an ex and hearing what you told what you thought was a good friend personal information was enough or as far as I was going to push for a jab at his heart. I made a promise that I would never go after his career and because I made that promise I kept it (and I'm glad I did! Karmas a bitch and I don't want that coming back to me).
Darrell - I've never EVER gone soo far or worked so hard to hurt someone. I now after writing it out and reading how immature, spiteful, vindictive I was feel remorse and am very and truly sorry from the bottom of my now unbroken heart....I'm leaving shit like this behind me...as part of my 20s. I didn't know how to let go..I'm there now. You deserved some of it for being an asshole but I was the bigger and meaner asshole and I need to find a different way to vent. Never in my life did I think I could truly "unlove" or maybe this too is a calm lake in a volcano. But in the end I'm sooo sorry papo and hope that if you can't forgive me that you accept my apology. I promise (and I keep those) that I will NEVER ever hurt you like that again. It's history and will remain that way.
These were the big ones in my life. M & D.
Reese has a piece of my heart now! And she is in a playful mood...time to end this blog, Dirty
It's february and I'm still on the red carpet waving away my 20s. 30s is gonna be all about self-improvement. I've taken the baby steps of owning who I am but there is something I haven't chipped away yet and I'm afraid to let it go.
MY IMAGe
Am I walking down the catwalk in jeans and a no name brand t-shirt or am I walking down in this fabulous outfit brought to you Nordstroms? It's hard to say but when I look back at my pics I didn't care what I wore and part of me thinks *UGH! Fashion victim!* what a mess! And the other part is like....that's real!
So I guess maybe a good thing to do would be compromise. Real friends will like you for being you. Be real with yourself and when you can accept that person you'll find this confidence n swag about you that will attract the right kind of guy who will be into you and not this image you work hard to portray
Single
This part has concerned me for a while. I hafta love myself fully before sharing this guy with someone else. My other issue is wanting what I can't have. Someone who wants to give themselves to me doesn't interest me yet oddly when I see a guy playing hard to get I play the role of throwin myself at them (not hardcore tho...i'm not dense). I'm not the guy that likes to hookup. I would honestly rather have something solid and real in life. I worked my butt off in life and would love nothing more than to have someone that compliments my personality to share it with. I have these male figures who have made impressions on my life and hurt me. And we all know the pain a heart goes through...imagine not having those feelings until you hit 27! I got sooo much catching up and maturing in this area to do. Marlon was the first man I ever intimately loved and had feelings for. I could still picture him as my superman. Darrell took the other piece of my heart and after reading my blogs and seeing how although I was rejected but still kept him for sex I can't blame him for my immature actions. I knew what I wanted, it wasn't available so I set out to hurt him like he hurt me. P!nk describes this situation PERFECTLY!!!
Four days of personnel hell of after saying I LOVE YOU to have nothing...no hug, no communication. Just family there to pick me up. He hurt the hell out of me...more so I hurt myself because I could not come to terms with reality. I've cut guys out of my life no problem...I thought I had lost that part of my personality but Marlon helped me find it when I cut him out of life (update - We talk, we're better friends now that I've accepted the reality of friendship. The feeling is that of a calm lake in a volcano lol! And I feel that the only person that can make this volcano erupt is me, so it takes a little bit of energy to focus on other things in life so that I don't go there). Back to Darrell and how mean and nasty I decided to be...for the pain the TRUE PAIN i went through for four days and missing my birthday I used the powers of manipulation and my mean side to basically bake a FUCK YOU cake. I showed excitement and commitment to being at his promotion ceremony and on the day it happened bailed out on that. That took care of the "not being there" / birthday issue. Last item...my broken heart. I can't break someone's heart who doesn't love me...so when I saw his ex of 10years at TOWN and he told me that I was with his man during the time they were together I had to pause. Here it was...in a pretty box and bow! Do I take the bait? Yes! The last item on the list...befriend the ex and tell him what he wanted to know. The ex used that information and it got back to him (months later but it hit). Dealing with an ex you may or may not have feelings, but dealing with an ex and hearing what you told what you thought was a good friend personal information was enough or as far as I was going to push for a jab at his heart. I made a promise that I would never go after his career and because I made that promise I kept it (and I'm glad I did! Karmas a bitch and I don't want that coming back to me).
Darrell - I've never EVER gone soo far or worked so hard to hurt someone. I now after writing it out and reading how immature, spiteful, vindictive I was feel remorse and am very and truly sorry from the bottom of my now unbroken heart....I'm leaving shit like this behind me...as part of my 20s. I didn't know how to let go..I'm there now. You deserved some of it for being an asshole but I was the bigger and meaner asshole and I need to find a different way to vent. Never in my life did I think I could truly "unlove" or maybe this too is a calm lake in a volcano. But in the end I'm sooo sorry papo and hope that if you can't forgive me that you accept my apology. I promise (and I keep those) that I will NEVER ever hurt you like that again. It's history and will remain that way.
These were the big ones in my life. M & D.
Reese has a piece of my heart now! And she is in a playful mood...time to end this blog, Dirty
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