Sunday, September 14, 2008, AWESOME weekend
Wow how time flies...I was just looking up what I tagged as Whitney and to see the strong love I had for someone amazes me. How blind love can be. I love knowing that I could feel a strong love like that, but F! I hate...*I HATE*....HATE, not being in control. Love, sometimes your a car that drives way to fast for me. But I love speed and will get back on that horse again.
~ Marlon, thanks for the memories. I had no idea I could feel so high. The other side of that spectrum felt like shit. But I'll never forget how high up there I was, singing Jessica Simpson - I Think I'm in Love. LOL! It actually makes my heart happy to picture myself singing with love. You, your gone and done. You served your purpose, again thanks for the memories...NEXT
Showing posts with label Marlon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marlon. Show all posts
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Needs a hug
Had a dream...
...I could smell him
He was so close...
...I could taste him
Holding me in his arms...
...I felt at peace
And then woke up...hugging my active rambunctious teddy bear, Reese now
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
...I could smell him
He was so close...
...I could taste him
Holding me in his arms...
...I felt at peace
And then woke up...hugging my active rambunctious teddy bear, Reese now
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Location:Medinah Ln,Alexandria,United States
Saturday, February 5, 2011
ahhhh where to jib n jab today
GOOD MORNING WORLD
It's february and I'm still on the red carpet waving away my 20s. 30s is gonna be all about self-improvement. I've taken the baby steps of owning who I am but there is something I haven't chipped away yet and I'm afraid to let it go.
MY IMAGe
Am I walking down the catwalk in jeans and a no name brand t-shirt or am I walking down in this fabulous outfit brought to you Nordstroms? It's hard to say but when I look back at my pics I didn't care what I wore and part of me thinks *UGH! Fashion victim!* what a mess! And the other part is like....that's real!
So I guess maybe a good thing to do would be compromise. Real friends will like you for being you. Be real with yourself and when you can accept that person you'll find this confidence n swag about you that will attract the right kind of guy who will be into you and not this image you work hard to portray
Single
This part has concerned me for a while. I hafta love myself fully before sharing this guy with someone else. My other issue is wanting what I can't have. Someone who wants to give themselves to me doesn't interest me yet oddly when I see a guy playing hard to get I play the role of throwin myself at them (not hardcore tho...i'm not dense). I'm not the guy that likes to hookup. I would honestly rather have something solid and real in life. I worked my butt off in life and would love nothing more than to have someone that compliments my personality to share it with. I have these male figures who have made impressions on my life and hurt me. And we all know the pain a heart goes through...imagine not having those feelings until you hit 27! I got sooo much catching up and maturing in this area to do. Marlon was the first man I ever intimately loved and had feelings for. I could still picture him as my superman. Darrell took the other piece of my heart and after reading my blogs and seeing how although I was rejected but still kept him for sex I can't blame him for my immature actions. I knew what I wanted, it wasn't available so I set out to hurt him like he hurt me. P!nk describes this situation PERFECTLY!!!
Four days of personnel hell of after saying I LOVE YOU to have nothing...no hug, no communication. Just family there to pick me up. He hurt the hell out of me...more so I hurt myself because I could not come to terms with reality. I've cut guys out of my life no problem...I thought I had lost that part of my personality but Marlon helped me find it when I cut him out of life (update - We talk, we're better friends now that I've accepted the reality of friendship. The feeling is that of a calm lake in a volcano lol! And I feel that the only person that can make this volcano erupt is me, so it takes a little bit of energy to focus on other things in life so that I don't go there). Back to Darrell and how mean and nasty I decided to be...for the pain the TRUE PAIN i went through for four days and missing my birthday I used the powers of manipulation and my mean side to basically bake a FUCK YOU cake. I showed excitement and commitment to being at his promotion ceremony and on the day it happened bailed out on that. That took care of the "not being there" / birthday issue. Last item...my broken heart. I can't break someone's heart who doesn't love me...so when I saw his ex of 10years at TOWN and he told me that I was with his man during the time they were together I had to pause. Here it was...in a pretty box and bow! Do I take the bait? Yes! The last item on the list...befriend the ex and tell him what he wanted to know. The ex used that information and it got back to him (months later but it hit). Dealing with an ex you may or may not have feelings, but dealing with an ex and hearing what you told what you thought was a good friend personal information was enough or as far as I was going to push for a jab at his heart. I made a promise that I would never go after his career and because I made that promise I kept it (and I'm glad I did! Karmas a bitch and I don't want that coming back to me).
Darrell - I've never EVER gone soo far or worked so hard to hurt someone. I now after writing it out and reading how immature, spiteful, vindictive I was feel remorse and am very and truly sorry from the bottom of my now unbroken heart....I'm leaving shit like this behind me...as part of my 20s. I didn't know how to let go..I'm there now. You deserved some of it for being an asshole but I was the bigger and meaner asshole and I need to find a different way to vent. Never in my life did I think I could truly "unlove" or maybe this too is a calm lake in a volcano. But in the end I'm sooo sorry papo and hope that if you can't forgive me that you accept my apology. I promise (and I keep those) that I will NEVER ever hurt you like that again. It's history and will remain that way.
These were the big ones in my life. M & D.
Reese has a piece of my heart now! And she is in a playful mood...time to end this blog, Dirty
It's february and I'm still on the red carpet waving away my 20s. 30s is gonna be all about self-improvement. I've taken the baby steps of owning who I am but there is something I haven't chipped away yet and I'm afraid to let it go.
MY IMAGe
Am I walking down the catwalk in jeans and a no name brand t-shirt or am I walking down in this fabulous outfit brought to you Nordstroms? It's hard to say but when I look back at my pics I didn't care what I wore and part of me thinks *UGH! Fashion victim!* what a mess! And the other part is like....that's real!
So I guess maybe a good thing to do would be compromise. Real friends will like you for being you. Be real with yourself and when you can accept that person you'll find this confidence n swag about you that will attract the right kind of guy who will be into you and not this image you work hard to portray
Single
This part has concerned me for a while. I hafta love myself fully before sharing this guy with someone else. My other issue is wanting what I can't have. Someone who wants to give themselves to me doesn't interest me yet oddly when I see a guy playing hard to get I play the role of throwin myself at them (not hardcore tho...i'm not dense). I'm not the guy that likes to hookup. I would honestly rather have something solid and real in life. I worked my butt off in life and would love nothing more than to have someone that compliments my personality to share it with. I have these male figures who have made impressions on my life and hurt me. And we all know the pain a heart goes through...imagine not having those feelings until you hit 27! I got sooo much catching up and maturing in this area to do. Marlon was the first man I ever intimately loved and had feelings for. I could still picture him as my superman. Darrell took the other piece of my heart and after reading my blogs and seeing how although I was rejected but still kept him for sex I can't blame him for my immature actions. I knew what I wanted, it wasn't available so I set out to hurt him like he hurt me. P!nk describes this situation PERFECTLY!!!
Four days of personnel hell of after saying I LOVE YOU to have nothing...no hug, no communication. Just family there to pick me up. He hurt the hell out of me...more so I hurt myself because I could not come to terms with reality. I've cut guys out of my life no problem...I thought I had lost that part of my personality but Marlon helped me find it when I cut him out of life (update - We talk, we're better friends now that I've accepted the reality of friendship. The feeling is that of a calm lake in a volcano lol! And I feel that the only person that can make this volcano erupt is me, so it takes a little bit of energy to focus on other things in life so that I don't go there). Back to Darrell and how mean and nasty I decided to be...for the pain the TRUE PAIN i went through for four days and missing my birthday I used the powers of manipulation and my mean side to basically bake a FUCK YOU cake. I showed excitement and commitment to being at his promotion ceremony and on the day it happened bailed out on that. That took care of the "not being there" / birthday issue. Last item...my broken heart. I can't break someone's heart who doesn't love me...so when I saw his ex of 10years at TOWN and he told me that I was with his man during the time they were together I had to pause. Here it was...in a pretty box and bow! Do I take the bait? Yes! The last item on the list...befriend the ex and tell him what he wanted to know. The ex used that information and it got back to him (months later but it hit). Dealing with an ex you may or may not have feelings, but dealing with an ex and hearing what you told what you thought was a good friend personal information was enough or as far as I was going to push for a jab at his heart. I made a promise that I would never go after his career and because I made that promise I kept it (and I'm glad I did! Karmas a bitch and I don't want that coming back to me).
Darrell - I've never EVER gone soo far or worked so hard to hurt someone. I now after writing it out and reading how immature, spiteful, vindictive I was feel remorse and am very and truly sorry from the bottom of my now unbroken heart....I'm leaving shit like this behind me...as part of my 20s. I didn't know how to let go..I'm there now. You deserved some of it for being an asshole but I was the bigger and meaner asshole and I need to find a different way to vent. Never in my life did I think I could truly "unlove" or maybe this too is a calm lake in a volcano. But in the end I'm sooo sorry papo and hope that if you can't forgive me that you accept my apology. I promise (and I keep those) that I will NEVER ever hurt you like that again. It's history and will remain that way.
These were the big ones in my life. M & D.
Reese has a piece of my heart now! And she is in a playful mood...time to end this blog, Dirty
Friday, December 31, 2010
2010 wrap up
What a year what a year...adios 2010! So what happened? A love obsession, snow storms, new jobs, new puppy, and finally acceptance into the kingdom of 30s.
Cut the cord with Vega aka fuckwad back in August....heard from him once since then and it wasn't a 'hey, how r u' so I hammered the last nail to that coffin politely with a lose my number and "fuck you". That piece of history can stay with 09-10...and thank goodness that feeling won't linger around. So lesson learned in 2010...I can unlove someone! IT AIN'T EVER EASY, but it was done and the feeling is awesome to re-gain what I gave away. Of course since I've regained my heart I haven't been looking to be vulnerable with someone else, so in time we'll see what happens. Marlon and I had a storm back in Feb and got back in contact after August or September (i think Sept). We're better people and I try my best to keep my distance. It will get better in time (en shalla!)
Snow storms - OMG! Stuck in the house DEC2K9 and Feb 10 two times. Incredible! Well the last time VA had it bad like that was in 96. I doubt we will have snowy winters back to back, but this one has been pretty cold (specially since we just starting out). Got me a snow shovel from last year and miss my sis aka other shoveler but so far this year we are good!
New jobs - I left the pentagon to go to crystal city as an engineer. I wanted to work closer to fuckwad. The job was fun at first cause I was in jeans and polo, and didn't have anything to do the first couple months but pend clearance...wheee! break for mike! small cut in pay but I was doin my thing, walkin around crystal city and catching some rays. Kept up with the gym and my workout buddy Matt around noon. Things weren't happening between me and fuckwad. I was just a fuck buddy but didn't wanna own it...pride blinded me, but in the end that's what I was. An object that I never wanted to be...hurt because I loved him, I crashed. So work was on a downward slope. I didn't care for the job after I got clearance and didn't want to stay in crystal city. I got me a new puppy --> (we'll go back to this soon)
New puppy - Reese! Born 6JUN2010. She's a doll and for the most part is a great dog. She's not a chewer or barker (that much). She's daddy's lil angel/monster. I got her on the 7th of August. I sold my four plex, got some cash and quit Mantech to be with Reese for her first months. During that time she grew up and I got to be with her for 3 1/2 months.
Unemployed - Yes even with the unemployment rate circling near 10% I wanted a break...a real break! So after my boss at Mantech sent me a very disturbing email I quit on the spot! and left my badges there. I blew crystal city a kiss and got the hell outta dodge. That was when I cut ties with EVERYTHING (job and fuckwad) in crystal city and chucked the deuce. I studied Exchange 2k10 (and gotta keep studying it), landed a new gig -->
New jobs (cont) - After Reese hit 5 months it was time to get back to work. Had something with Belvoir (DITRA) that sounded right up my avenue but they got a hiring freeze. Interviewed well with CACI to go to Iraq/Afghan...almost made it to SME on Messaging but was 6months shy of 12years experience. What a retarded hiring manager!!!! Well his mistake was my blessing cause dirty got a KICKASS job at belvoir (DLA) 5miles away from home and paying very nicely (2 snaps *work biatch!*).
Our PM demotivates everyone in our office and I'm hoping they replace her before everyone walks out. My architect and I will hang out there cause bread is bread.
30s - So with the new pup and gig I look at everything in my house and I'm totally happy with the way my house looks, what I drive (she's in the shop now...her alternator went kaput!) and I guess my material possessions. 30s will be about enjoying what I got and saving a lil more for the future. I look at what I just wrote down and smile...I see this red carpet with a BIG [3|0] door entrance and I got a big grin because I'm ready! I did my passage in the 20s of having crap furniture, plastic drawers, clothes that I could afford, the ARMY and am now in this awesome spot...I'm on the red carpet walking closer to those doors and I'm sooo ready! I made my goal in HS to be this 6-figga ni**a without a degree and I did it through the power of certifications and continuing education. Maybe when I'm walking on the red carpet to the [4|0] I'll have someone escorting me :-) time will tell...till then I'll dance my way to the doors keep my shades on and lookin fly
Happy new year everyone! Adios 2010! BRING IT 2011!!!
Cut the cord with Vega aka fuckwad back in August....heard from him once since then and it wasn't a 'hey, how r u' so I hammered the last nail to that coffin politely with a lose my number and "fuck you". That piece of history can stay with 09-10...and thank goodness that feeling won't linger around. So lesson learned in 2010...I can unlove someone! IT AIN'T EVER EASY, but it was done and the feeling is awesome to re-gain what I gave away. Of course since I've regained my heart I haven't been looking to be vulnerable with someone else, so in time we'll see what happens. Marlon and I had a storm back in Feb and got back in contact after August or September (i think Sept). We're better people and I try my best to keep my distance. It will get better in time (en shalla!)
Snow storms - OMG! Stuck in the house DEC2K9 and Feb 10 two times. Incredible! Well the last time VA had it bad like that was in 96. I doubt we will have snowy winters back to back, but this one has been pretty cold (specially since we just starting out). Got me a snow shovel from last year and miss my sis aka other shoveler but so far this year we are good!
New jobs - I left the pentagon to go to crystal city as an engineer. I wanted to work closer to fuckwad. The job was fun at first cause I was in jeans and polo, and didn't have anything to do the first couple months but pend clearance...wheee! break for mike! small cut in pay but I was doin my thing, walkin around crystal city and catching some rays. Kept up with the gym and my workout buddy Matt around noon. Things weren't happening between me and fuckwad. I was just a fuck buddy but didn't wanna own it...pride blinded me, but in the end that's what I was. An object that I never wanted to be...hurt because I loved him, I crashed. So work was on a downward slope. I didn't care for the job after I got clearance and didn't want to stay in crystal city. I got me a new puppy --> (we'll go back to this soon)
New puppy - Reese! Born 6JUN2010. She's a doll and for the most part is a great dog. She's not a chewer or barker (that much). She's daddy's lil angel/monster. I got her on the 7th of August. I sold my four plex, got some cash and quit Mantech to be with Reese for her first months. During that time she grew up and I got to be with her for 3 1/2 months.
Unemployed - Yes even with the unemployment rate circling near 10% I wanted a break...a real break! So after my boss at Mantech sent me a very disturbing email I quit on the spot! and left my badges there. I blew crystal city a kiss and got the hell outta dodge. That was when I cut ties with EVERYTHING (job and fuckwad) in crystal city and chucked the deuce. I studied Exchange 2k10 (and gotta keep studying it), landed a new gig -->
New jobs (cont) - After Reese hit 5 months it was time to get back to work. Had something with Belvoir (DITRA) that sounded right up my avenue but they got a hiring freeze. Interviewed well with CACI to go to Iraq/Afghan...almost made it to SME on Messaging but was 6months shy of 12years experience. What a retarded hiring manager!!!! Well his mistake was my blessing cause dirty got a KICKASS job at belvoir (DLA) 5miles away from home and paying very nicely (2 snaps *work biatch!*).
Our PM demotivates everyone in our office and I'm hoping they replace her before everyone walks out. My architect and I will hang out there cause bread is bread.
30s - So with the new pup and gig I look at everything in my house and I'm totally happy with the way my house looks, what I drive (she's in the shop now...her alternator went kaput!) and I guess my material possessions. 30s will be about enjoying what I got and saving a lil more for the future. I look at what I just wrote down and smile...I see this red carpet with a BIG [3|0] door entrance and I got a big grin because I'm ready! I did my passage in the 20s of having crap furniture, plastic drawers, clothes that I could afford, the ARMY and am now in this awesome spot...I'm on the red carpet walking closer to those doors and I'm sooo ready! I made my goal in HS to be this 6-figga ni**a without a degree and I did it through the power of certifications and continuing education. Maybe when I'm walking on the red carpet to the [4|0] I'll have someone escorting me :-) time will tell...till then I'll dance my way to the doors keep my shades on and lookin fly
Happy new year everyone! Adios 2010! BRING IT 2011!!!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
The pre-30's have begun
Well last night I had a blast meeting the guys out at the old EFN place, getting hooked up on drinks and hosting a small after gathering at my place. I really do luv having small crowds at my place. It really feels like home having those close to me be in my house. It's funny how I always thought I would hafta beg obnoxitonians to come over but when your got friends that are just cool cool, we got southern VA and MD folks that just come over. That's wassup! i luv my family of friends.
So this morning I did my last late wakeup (at least till Thurs..got a job! We'll get into that) and had four people over. I made breakfast and we all had some good convo. Bdays came up and we got a LOT of cancer babies in our small group...I'm turning 30! Not to be narcissistic but I LOOK great for someone turning 30! I'm not at the halfway hump of 29 yet but looking in the mirror and thinking of some of the guys I know in their 30s I welcome giving 30 the hot sexy 25 look it deserves!
Ok so looking back at my 20s I reflect on the army (joined at 19) and how the only good..i'm sorry BEST thing to come out of that mistake is my long lasting continuing 10year friendship with my bff Chris and his wife Tiffany aka my family. If I had to go through that f'n hell all over again, I would do it just cause they are worth it. I got my first fourplex out of it too when I turned 20. The commander would not sign off on me owning property because I was so young and what would I know about managing properties. The bank did not want to proceed without having that letter. IDK where I got my business savvy mind but I told them that if they did NOT process that loan, another bank would. I refuse to let someone in the army dictate my financial situation. Got the loan, and the closed. The commander did not want to give me BAQ to live off-post so I maintained a room in the barracks. One day someone was living in MY space though! Ohhhh HELLLZ nah! I may not live there, but that room is MINE unless you gimme my money. Got back paid two months BAQ! So that was my first property and of course being me not caring what the commander or army thought. Mike does Mike. Period.
So the army days lasted till OCT 2004. After that I took a holiday and got my MCSE! I moved in with my besties (for like 6mos) and bought another 4plex (sold the other one in 2003. What a dump!). This 4plex was beautiful and right off the golf course! Was a real cash cow even till the end (netting 16 off of it). I moved to Kuwait in 2005-2007DEC. I loved being in the desert. This was the first time I got to be a six figga n***a! I was rocking my HS Diploma and showing myself and the world what you can do. I achieved my goal a year early of earning that money by 25. I did it. Good feeling of accomplishment. That's years 24-26.
26-Present I would say focuses on myself coming out of the closet. This was very difficult for me to do. I always wanted the wife, picket fence, and kids (especially to play with my BFFs kids). That wasn't in God's plan though and I threw the towel in. I was tired of never having a relationship and being 26. I wanted to know what love was and have someone else love me. So I've been knocked down and got up and fell down again. Patience is something that will develop with age I suppose. I fell in love with my hero (Marlon) and a heartbreaker who lied to me (Darrell). I have my walls up, I date now but find it hard to be vulnerable just cause I hate the PAIN that comes with love. I seriously do want my prince charming but in time that will come. I have a great group of friends and love that my BFFs live only 40mins away. Some friends have disappeared or just plain nix'ed having me as a friend (PS-And i frankly dont give a f***).
Maybe 30 will be the best decade of my life! But to sum up what's going on now, I'm 29, have a terrific dog that I love and she loves me and a new job! I am a Microsoft Engineer! F'n did it! To all those who want to shine and excel in life here's a tip. It's not the piece of paper that you hang on a wall.
...
....it's that CPU in-between your EARS!
Tomorrow is my first day on the job! I will be re-hiring my maids and getting a dog walking service for lil miss Reese. Gym will have to be done around 8pm. Pre-30s are great! Bring it on June!
So this morning I did my last late wakeup (at least till Thurs..got a job! We'll get into that) and had four people over. I made breakfast and we all had some good convo. Bdays came up and we got a LOT of cancer babies in our small group...I'm turning 30! Not to be narcissistic but I LOOK great for someone turning 30! I'm not at the halfway hump of 29 yet but looking in the mirror and thinking of some of the guys I know in their 30s I welcome giving 30 the hot sexy 25 look it deserves!
Ok so looking back at my 20s I reflect on the army (joined at 19) and how the only good..i'm sorry BEST thing to come out of that mistake is my long lasting continuing 10year friendship with my bff Chris and his wife Tiffany aka my family. If I had to go through that f'n hell all over again, I would do it just cause they are worth it. I got my first fourplex out of it too when I turned 20. The commander would not sign off on me owning property because I was so young and what would I know about managing properties. The bank did not want to proceed without having that letter. IDK where I got my business savvy mind but I told them that if they did NOT process that loan, another bank would. I refuse to let someone in the army dictate my financial situation. Got the loan, and the closed. The commander did not want to give me BAQ to live off-post so I maintained a room in the barracks. One day someone was living in MY space though! Ohhhh HELLLZ nah! I may not live there, but that room is MINE unless you gimme my money. Got back paid two months BAQ! So that was my first property and of course being me not caring what the commander or army thought. Mike does Mike. Period.
So the army days lasted till OCT 2004. After that I took a holiday and got my MCSE! I moved in with my besties (for like 6mos) and bought another 4plex (sold the other one in 2003. What a dump!). This 4plex was beautiful and right off the golf course! Was a real cash cow even till the end (netting 16 off of it). I moved to Kuwait in 2005-2007DEC. I loved being in the desert. This was the first time I got to be a six figga n***a! I was rocking my HS Diploma and showing myself and the world what you can do. I achieved my goal a year early of earning that money by 25. I did it. Good feeling of accomplishment. That's years 24-26.
26-Present I would say focuses on myself coming out of the closet. This was very difficult for me to do. I always wanted the wife, picket fence, and kids (especially to play with my BFFs kids). That wasn't in God's plan though and I threw the towel in. I was tired of never having a relationship and being 26. I wanted to know what love was and have someone else love me. So I've been knocked down and got up and fell down again. Patience is something that will develop with age I suppose. I fell in love with my hero (Marlon) and a heartbreaker who lied to me (Darrell). I have my walls up, I date now but find it hard to be vulnerable just cause I hate the PAIN that comes with love. I seriously do want my prince charming but in time that will come. I have a great group of friends and love that my BFFs live only 40mins away. Some friends have disappeared or just plain nix'ed having me as a friend (PS-And i frankly dont give a f***).
Maybe 30 will be the best decade of my life! But to sum up what's going on now, I'm 29, have a terrific dog that I love and she loves me and a new job! I am a Microsoft Engineer! F'n did it! To all those who want to shine and excel in life here's a tip. It's not the piece of paper that you hang on a wall.
...
....it's that CPU in-between your EARS!
Tomorrow is my first day on the job! I will be re-hiring my maids and getting a dog walking service for lil miss Reese. Gym will have to be done around 8pm. Pre-30s are great! Bring it on June!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
I'm back
and I've got things to say! First off 2010...where did time go? The last days of my 20s are slipping away but what has gone on this past year...the good, the bad and the ugly. Let's start with family as they are sooo damn close to my heart.
Dad - Easiest update...he's happy with life and getting more and more gray hairs. He still has all his hair and so did my grandfather on my mom's side...YES!!!! This is good news here (*pats that weave*)
Mom- She's going through a tuff battle with her fibromyalgia which causes her cronic pain and depression. I really hope that she can find the panacea for this epidemic or something that can ease her pain and mind. Hope to update some good news on Mom :-)
Jackie- The chick got married! :-o I KNOW! Right? She did it! She got married the day after my parents anniversary (horray...yet another June celebration) and moved to Hawaii with her marine, Garrett. They're happy over there...her cat is with my parents until the end of October and I think Jax is sooo excited to get her lil kitty cat back
Reese- Yes! Newwwwwww Members! Reese was born on 6/6/2010. She is an ADORABLE
cockapoo...
Awwwww! I know! Daddy luvs you!!!! Ok ok so we've been together now...umm a few months now. She's a fast learner and of course a diva. She doesn't like to follow orders unless there's food involved so she's gonna take a puppy training course soon (and I'll blog about that).
She can already: Sit, Shake, Lie down, Give hi-5s, and we're working on rollover.
~*MoI*~ Let's start with something positive. I have a boyfriend. I know! When have I ever blogged that before? He's a great guy, very thoughtful and nice. I have some worries/fears about this relationship...mostly the *spark* factor. I went through so much heartache with Marlon and Darrell (<-- Liar! Manipulator! Cold!...Bravo! You got me u sick fuck! This punk ass bitch juggles me wit his man! Wow....wow! So glad his man left his dumbass...and he got robbed! Ain't karma a BEYOTCH!)...but I digress so much heartache that I built up walls. I'm not trying to be vulnerable and this may bite me. Ok so that if you can go back to the 2nd sentence is the good news.
I quit my gig the 12th of August. Enough was enough...I took a systems engineering job with Mantech and documented shit for the 5months I was there...How fuckin annoying is it to accept a cool job and not do it? I know! Thanks ITT for the $$$ and my family for showing me how to save. I'm gonna try and start work the beginning of October and hopefully get an SCI out of it. The big goal is to work with my old boss who fuckin rocks, Eric Stevenson back in the world of exchange (only) but I need an SCI first. So no work, but no worries...the bills are paid and if anything I depleting my sister's inheritence if anything should happen to me (sorry! lol!)
I closed the doors on Marlon in Jan or Feb and recently opened the doors. I'm gonna try and keep it the way things use to be. Y dirty? Y? Well I've lost enough close people to my heart that I didn't wanna shun him out. Dirty Dick Darrell put a blackhole in my heart (I see his name and feel anger. If he fuckin died or just fell off this gawd dayum Earth right now there would be more oxygen for me to breathe), Cameron cut me after that FAB-U-LOUS trip to Toronto...I got a Linked in invitation from him today and was like...hmmm...are we opening communications?
Generic Subject line read: Cameron Hernandez wants to stay in touch on LinkedIn
So I wrote back saying:
Nope...u know how to stay in touch
He wrote back saying that all his gmail contacts got that message and sorry for the annoyance. I almost wrote back cause I miss him like a brother but Oh well...I too can cut ni99as like barbers cut hair...it's just harder to let go when they're more than 'just a friend'...his choice, not mine..Thank goodness I got Chris & Tiff still in my life...that 10year friendship is solid!...and moving on! lol!...let's see...something positive...something positive...Weight training! Yes!
Been hitting the gym hard wit my boi Matt! We got a great routine going and hopefully this next summer aka Dirty's 30 (oooof!) I'll be takin dem pix..lookin all fly n shyt...imma be spreadin my wings (do it do it!) OOOkkkkk!. Arms - Monday / Back - Tuesday / Abs - Wednesday /Legs - Thursday / Chest - Friday. Also after watching Food Inc, I'm more cognitive about what I eat.
I try and buy local and for meats will buy from a farmers market or whole foods. When I asked Harris Teeter where they bought there meat they said "North Carolina"...ooook...I need more info than that...what ranch do you guys buy ur meet from? Are the cows fed grass or corn? They coward down to the already sliced organic meat...two choices of meat..F! Harris Teeter! F! F! F!
So yeah I will be slowly moving the grocery list to whole foods eventually. Eating rights costs a lot of f'n cash! I might as well just have Sunflower cater for me! :-) hmmmmm.....lol!
Last negative to put out for 2010...the finale to Lost sucked! WTF?!?! We all called that shyt 4-5 seasons ago! Purgatory! Bah!
Ok this was a long post...had a lot to say and it's getting late. this blog will be updated! Dirty's back! And he's got sum jibber-jabber that needs to be said dammit!
Like why do my facebook friends feel the need to spread religion?
What chemical in HFCS makes it the worse sugar ever?
Is alcohol or more so a bar a great place to seek salvation?
Will I move to NYC?
Dad - Easiest update...he's happy with life and getting more and more gray hairs. He still has all his hair and so did my grandfather on my mom's side...YES!!!! This is good news here (*pats that weave*)
Mom- She's going through a tuff battle with her fibromyalgia which causes her cronic pain and depression. I really hope that she can find the panacea for this epidemic or something that can ease her pain and mind. Hope to update some good news on Mom :-)
Jackie- The chick got married! :-o I KNOW! Right? She did it! She got married the day after my parents anniversary (horray...yet another June celebration) and moved to Hawaii with her marine, Garrett. They're happy over there...her cat is with my parents until the end of October and I think Jax is sooo excited to get her lil kitty cat back
Reese- Yes! Newwwwwww Members! Reese was born on 6/6/2010. She is an ADORABLE
cockapoo...
Awwwww! I know! Daddy luvs you!!!! Ok ok so we've been together now...umm a few months now. She's a fast learner and of course a diva. She doesn't like to follow orders unless there's food involved so she's gonna take a puppy training course soon (and I'll blog about that).She can already: Sit, Shake, Lie down, Give hi-5s, and we're working on rollover.
~*MoI*~ Let's start with something positive. I have a boyfriend. I know! When have I ever blogged that before? He's a great guy, very thoughtful and nice. I have some worries/fears about this relationship...mostly the *spark* factor. I went through so much heartache with Marlon and Darrell (<-- Liar! Manipulator! Cold!...Bravo! You got me u sick fuck! This punk ass bitch juggles me wit his man! Wow....wow! So glad his man left his dumbass...and he got robbed! Ain't karma a BEYOTCH!)...but I digress so much heartache that I built up walls. I'm not trying to be vulnerable and this may bite me. Ok so that if you can go back to the 2nd sentence is the good news.
I quit my gig the 12th of August. Enough was enough...I took a systems engineering job with Mantech and documented shit for the 5months I was there...How fuckin annoying is it to accept a cool job and not do it? I know! Thanks ITT for the $$$ and my family for showing me how to save. I'm gonna try and start work the beginning of October and hopefully get an SCI out of it. The big goal is to work with my old boss who fuckin rocks, Eric Stevenson back in the world of exchange (only) but I need an SCI first. So no work, but no worries...the bills are paid and if anything I depleting my sister's inheritence if anything should happen to me (sorry! lol!)
I closed the doors on Marlon in Jan or Feb and recently opened the doors. I'm gonna try and keep it the way things use to be. Y dirty? Y? Well I've lost enough close people to my heart that I didn't wanna shun him out. Dirty Dick Darrell put a blackhole in my heart (I see his name and feel anger. If he fuckin died or just fell off this gawd dayum Earth right now there would be more oxygen for me to breathe), Cameron cut me after that FAB-U-LOUS trip to Toronto...I got a Linked in invitation from him today and was like...hmmm...are we opening communications?
Generic Subject line read: Cameron Hernandez wants to stay in touch on LinkedIn
So I wrote back saying:
Nope...u know how to stay in touch
He wrote back saying that all his gmail contacts got that message and sorry for the annoyance. I almost wrote back cause I miss him like a brother but Oh well...I too can cut ni99as like barbers cut hair...it's just harder to let go when they're more than 'just a friend'...his choice, not mine..Thank goodness I got Chris & Tiff still in my life...that 10year friendship is solid!...and moving on! lol!...let's see...something positive...something positive...Weight training! Yes!
Been hitting the gym hard wit my boi Matt! We got a great routine going and hopefully this next summer aka Dirty's 30 (oooof!) I'll be takin dem pix..lookin all fly n shyt...imma be spreadin my wings (do it do it!) OOOkkkkk!. Arms - Monday / Back - Tuesday / Abs - Wednesday /Legs - Thursday / Chest - Friday. Also after watching Food Inc, I'm more cognitive about what I eat.
I try and buy local and for meats will buy from a farmers market or whole foods. When I asked Harris Teeter where they bought there meat they said "North Carolina"...ooook...I need more info than that...what ranch do you guys buy ur meet from? Are the cows fed grass or corn? They coward down to the already sliced organic meat...two choices of meat..F! Harris Teeter! F! F! F!
So yeah I will be slowly moving the grocery list to whole foods eventually. Eating rights costs a lot of f'n cash! I might as well just have Sunflower cater for me! :-) hmmmmm.....lol!
Last negative to put out for 2010...the finale to Lost sucked! WTF?!?! We all called that shyt 4-5 seasons ago! Purgatory! Bah!
Ok this was a long post...had a lot to say and it's getting late. this blog will be updated! Dirty's back! And he's got sum jibber-jabber that needs to be said dammit!
Like why do my facebook friends feel the need to spread religion?
What chemical in HFCS makes it the worse sugar ever?
Is alcohol or more so a bar a great place to seek salvation?
Will I move to NYC?
Sunday, December 13, 2009
2k9 wrap-up
....And we're back! We'll call that a hibernation.
I know the year is not over with but I couldn't help and check out last years resolutions and how I fared. Honestly a lot of them slipped my mind but seem like good resolutions. Such is life to plan for good intentions and lose focus on the way.
Well let's see since July my hellish work has got better. I don't like the way things are ran there, but I do have flexible hours (because yeah we work weekends). I met someone...cool guy, mature, awesome in the bed, and likes me. We moved too fast so we've cool'd down. It's been cooooool'd down to friends with benefits. I like him a lot BUT when we talked he said the one thing he couldn't do is let me in his family life. So if I were to pursue this it would be for just him...No dad, mom or son. So being friends is a good thing. The expectations are just that; be cool, chill and have fun. Thanksgiving was spent at my mom's place as usual but we had one member not with us. I really really miss my grandma. I see her in my dreams and when I wake up I have no idea what we were talking about but I smile because I saw her. So that was tough this year, but at the table we focus on the things we are grateful for. And most recently my house has a neeeeeeeeeeeew member; Jordan.
Jordan is a Maltese that I rescued from the Arlington Shelter. He's a year and four months and a good pup. I can tell you waking up in the morning and NOT hitting the snooze alarm several times was almost like having a real baby. I'm sooo tired right now! LOL! *sips dunkin coffee*
That is all right now...I haven't heard or really talked to Marlon since I got this gig. Phoned him when I was in LA seein my grandma for her bday but he was in FL. It's cool how time does heel all wounds but time never goes fast enough...yet when you look in the mirror you can't help but think sometimes- Shit!!! Where the hell has time gone?!? Alright I'm real tired...short workday though! Later
Jordan is a Maltese that I rescued from the Arlington Shelter. He's a year and four months and a good pup. I can tell you waking up in the morning and NOT hitting the snooze alarm several times was almost like having a real baby. I'm sooo tired right now! LOL! *sips dunkin coffee*
That is all right now...I haven't heard or really talked to Marlon since I got this gig. Phoned him when I was in LA seein my grandma for her bday but he was in FL. It's cool how time does heel all wounds but time never goes fast enough...yet when you look in the mirror you can't help but think sometimes- Shit!!! Where the hell has time gone?!? Alright I'm real tired...short workday though! Later
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Movie rant...and the weekend
So My Bloody Valentine: 3D
O...M...G! You can't just take a piece of shit, turn in into 3D and pass it off for people watch. I mean who would fall that? Who would waste the $13 (cuz yeah, those damn glasses go for $2 or whatever) and watch what was once a terrible 1981 movie today? So yeah, me and Amanda were not amused with the movie.
I could've been doing laundry or clipping my toenails, but OH NO! I gave my money to Hollywood. So that was what was up Friday night. Amanda wanted to see a drag show, so I took her to TOWN (oooo....ahhhhhh). I'm wingin myself off of the nightlife because I want so much more out of life.
I know my buddies like going there, but that's not all I'm about. I wanna hike some trails, or do rock climbing (I had a blast Josie and JR) or do something that challenges my mind and heart. So on Sunday I met up with my cousin Josie and new buddy, JR. He seems pretty cool, likes to laugh and smile. That's awesome, so we're def gonna be rock buddies. I gotta take a class so that I can control the ballet or security rope thingy.
So Sunday rocked, I've been in contact with Marlon and it's cool. We're both being honest with each other and developing a friendship. Someone told me that if I couldn't have him as a boyfriend that my heart would never change. Well that's not entirely true. The problem was I had never really go a No from him, so there was always a glimmer of hope. I got what I needed from him. That there is no romantic interests and that we gotta develop our friendship. I felt a huge lift from my heart when I read that...it wasn't a bad thing! It was more like I released the shackles. So when I think of it in my head, it kind of sucks that what I want won't happen. But at the same time I know that it is not from a lack of effort. It is because he communicated what he wanted. And that's being real. I don't have many friends who can keep it as real as he does. Most of my friends will cater/spare my feelings. I don't like being hurt, but at the same time I will pick myself up and respect the truth. I've got to!
I've got a ton to talk about @ therapy tomorrow. I think I've done pretty well this week at not masking my feelings. I'm going to keep it up and I've told my sis if she catches me to let me know. It's awesome to have the people I have in my life accept me for me and that I don't have to put forth any extra energy to be the person I would like to be. You would think after coming out of the closet I wouldn't hide myself. Well Michael, that's another journey and we'll do it in 2009 and mark our progress in 2010.
I luv it...fuckin love it! I gotta write out a schedule for me to follow. I've been sleeping the days away and that's gonna change! Oh also this weekend, my commute was interupted because SOMEBODY had to have an inaugration. Well I'm glad that it didn't take me 2 1/2 hours to get to work this time! That "CHANGE" I can do with our, President Obama! On a serious note though, I was very inspired by what President Obama had to say and that he touches the heart of so many. America needs that in these times of economic & war crisis. America needs that sparkle of hope, and I believe the energy/persona he puts out will get us there! Here's to a fantastic 8 years in office!!!
~ c!a0
O...M...G! You can't just take a piece of shit, turn in into 3D and pass it off for people watch. I mean who would fall that? Who would waste the $13 (cuz yeah, those damn glasses go for $2 or whatever) and watch what was once a terrible 1981 movie today? So yeah, me and Amanda were not amused with the movie.
I could've been doing laundry or clipping my toenails, but OH NO! I gave my money to Hollywood. So that was what was up Friday night. Amanda wanted to see a drag show, so I took her to TOWN (oooo....ahhhhhh). I'm wingin myself off of the nightlife because I want so much more out of life.
I know my buddies like going there, but that's not all I'm about. I wanna hike some trails, or do rock climbing (I had a blast Josie and JR) or do something that challenges my mind and heart. So on Sunday I met up with my cousin Josie and new buddy, JR. He seems pretty cool, likes to laugh and smile. That's awesome, so we're def gonna be rock buddies. I gotta take a class so that I can control the ballet or security rope thingy.
So Sunday rocked, I've been in contact with Marlon and it's cool. We're both being honest with each other and developing a friendship. Someone told me that if I couldn't have him as a boyfriend that my heart would never change. Well that's not entirely true. The problem was I had never really go a No from him, so there was always a glimmer of hope. I got what I needed from him. That there is no romantic interests and that we gotta develop our friendship. I felt a huge lift from my heart when I read that...it wasn't a bad thing! It was more like I released the shackles. So when I think of it in my head, it kind of sucks that what I want won't happen. But at the same time I know that it is not from a lack of effort. It is because he communicated what he wanted. And that's being real. I don't have many friends who can keep it as real as he does. Most of my friends will cater/spare my feelings. I don't like being hurt, but at the same time I will pick myself up and respect the truth. I've got to!
I've got a ton to talk about @ therapy tomorrow. I think I've done pretty well this week at not masking my feelings. I'm going to keep it up and I've told my sis if she catches me to let me know. It's awesome to have the people I have in my life accept me for me and that I don't have to put forth any extra energy to be the person I would like to be. You would think after coming out of the closet I wouldn't hide myself. Well Michael, that's another journey and we'll do it in 2009 and mark our progress in 2010.
I luv it...fuckin love it! I gotta write out a schedule for me to follow. I've been sleeping the days away and that's gonna change! Oh also this weekend, my commute was interupted because SOMEBODY had to have an inaugration. Well I'm glad that it didn't take me 2 1/2 hours to get to work this time! That "CHANGE" I can do with our, President Obama! On a serious note though, I was very inspired by what President Obama had to say and that he touches the heart of so many. America needs that in these times of economic & war crisis. America needs that sparkle of hope, and I believe the energy/persona he puts out will get us there! Here's to a fantastic 8 years in office!!!
~ c!a0
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
CaliForNia LuV
Ohhhh the excitement! So ok OMG how many of you have had your head in the sand and have NOT been paying attention to what is going on in the financial world??? OMG! Hello! iHave!
So ok, when Lehman Brothers Holdings (LEH) announced that they were having problems who sold ALL their stock before RED Monday came? Oh fuckin yeah! I said it...iLuv hearing the advice on TV, "the stocks will go up, people just need to ride it out..."
Ummmm yeah, that sounds very wise, educated and....oh wait! Who's are we talking about here? Cuz my boys will come home if they see trouble on the front...they will not do the Bush thing and "hang around"...nope my dollars make cents! They know when to come back home. And when to recruit more friends ^_^
So, lucky me I did "OK" this month in the NYSE. Well enuf that when I land in LA, I'll have my luxury car and drive to the Ritz-Carlton. Pop a bottle of Bolli and sip. *aaaaaahhhhh.....tastes good!*. So this trip is going to be fun and hopefully bring some closure to this huge chunk of my heart. Ok, so Marlon and I had like stopped communicating for like a month...after 3 days of not hearing from him I was thinkin "Huh...ok, He'll call later"...3 days --> week...ummm, WTF? one week --> two weeks "Aight...fuck this nigga, I'm done!" Unbind, Unleash, Relinquish, Release..
week two --> week 3 listen to Allure & 112 all cried out....put myself through this misery and then it dawned on me. Fuck this! If I can't be happy with him...then I'll be happy without him. Week 4 - Listened to MJB - Just Fine. That weekend I got an e-mail from him. It was poetic but there was a line in there that upset me and no matter how I read it I can't see what "he meant"...: But some of us must suffer and sacrifice for our axis to continue on its natural cycle. Therefore, I sacrificed my connection to you knowing that I enjoyed your company, your conversations, your heart, and mostly your spirit
Now I'm reading this e-mail with tears down my eyes and I see this in there and thought. OMG! There it is...I'm free! I experienced release...the shackles were unleashed! So I didn't reply to the e-mail because I thought to myself....Huh..well if someone wants to suffer and sacrifice, who am I to interfere with that? So I got a txt 4 days later and was like, Ok lets get this over with. So I wasn't upset...I was cool n calm and called him up. Left a message with him to give me a buzz
So here's the deal...I can't put myself through that again. I want more than a friendship. I can't have a relationship where i'm 80/20 or 20/80. We talked a lot and in the end I told him that I wanted a serious relationship. If he was here in DC this wouldn't be an issue. We would be together and live happily ever after. This isn't the case...and I can't help but me.
I'm normally an optimistic person and smile a lot. But I'm not going to lie...I think this trip to Cali is going be just what I need. A dose of reality. When the trip is over with I will go home alone. So I'm telling you guys before I tell him that this is how it is. I have to withdrawl my offer. If he decides to move to VA, and I'm not involved with anyone we can start dating and see where it goes. We'll see what happens...I was gonna fly in at night and do dinner with him. This left me with an unpleasant feeling of depending on him. Now here is some hypocracy for you...I told him to trust me, that I would not let him fall....Yet i have this feeling of unsecurity...uncertainty going there...and if something freaks me out or pisses me off I need to depend on me. I've got to depend on me. Would I like to think that if I close my eyes and fall he would catch me? Of course, duh! But I feel that I put more of an effort than he does. I mean he knows that when he is in VA he has a place to stay. I don't get that vibe with him. This trip will help me understand if I'm wrong....BODY LANGUAGE!
I'm not gonna go blinded by love. I'm going to pay attention. And again most likely get closure. My cousin's bday is Friday so I'm gonna see what he wants to do. If I don't link up with Marlon on Friday that is totally cool! I wanna go to CityWalk anyways! LOL! Hope you guys have a fantastic weekend! I WILL! LA! TOMMY BURGERS!!! w00t w00t!!! Tacos off chevy chase! (Glendale, CaLi! u know wassssup!)
So ok, when Lehman Brothers Holdings (LEH) announced that they were having problems who sold ALL their stock before RED Monday came? Oh fuckin yeah! I said it...iLuv hearing the advice on TV, "the stocks will go up, people just need to ride it out..."
Ummmm yeah, that sounds very wise, educated and....oh wait! Who's are we talking about here? Cuz my boys will come home if they see trouble on the front...they will not do the Bush thing and "hang around"...nope my dollars make cents! They know when to come back home. And when to recruit more friends ^_^
So, lucky me I did "OK" this month in the NYSE. Well enuf that when I land in LA, I'll have my luxury car and drive to the Ritz-Carlton. Pop a bottle of Bolli and sip. *aaaaaahhhhh.....tastes good!*. So this trip is going to be fun and hopefully bring some closure to this huge chunk of my heart. Ok, so Marlon and I had like stopped communicating for like a month...after 3 days of not hearing from him I was thinkin "Huh...ok, He'll call later"...3 days --> week...ummm, WTF? one week --> two weeks "Aight...fuck this nigga, I'm done!" Unbind, Unleash, Relinquish, Release..
week two --> week 3 listen to Allure & 112 all cried out....put myself through this misery and then it dawned on me. Fuck this! If I can't be happy with him...then I'll be happy without him. Week 4 - Listened to MJB - Just Fine. That weekend I got an e-mail from him. It was poetic but there was a line in there that upset me and no matter how I read it I can't see what "he meant"...: But some of us must suffer and sacrifice for our axis to continue on its natural cycle. Therefore, I sacrificed my connection to you knowing that I enjoyed your company, your conversations, your heart, and mostly your spirit
Now I'm reading this e-mail with tears down my eyes and I see this in there and thought. OMG! There it is...I'm free! I experienced release...the shackles were unleashed! So I didn't reply to the e-mail because I thought to myself....Huh..well if someone wants to suffer and sacrifice, who am I to interfere with that? So I got a txt 4 days later and was like, Ok lets get this over with. So I wasn't upset...I was cool n calm and called him up. Left a message with him to give me a buzz
So here's the deal...I can't put myself through that again. I want more than a friendship. I can't have a relationship where i'm 80/20 or 20/80. We talked a lot and in the end I told him that I wanted a serious relationship. If he was here in DC this wouldn't be an issue. We would be together and live happily ever after. This isn't the case...and I can't help but me.
I'm normally an optimistic person and smile a lot. But I'm not going to lie...I think this trip to Cali is going be just what I need. A dose of reality. When the trip is over with I will go home alone. So I'm telling you guys before I tell him that this is how it is. I have to withdrawl my offer. If he decides to move to VA, and I'm not involved with anyone we can start dating and see where it goes. We'll see what happens...I was gonna fly in at night and do dinner with him. This left me with an unpleasant feeling of depending on him. Now here is some hypocracy for you...I told him to trust me, that I would not let him fall....Yet i have this feeling of unsecurity...uncertainty going there...and if something freaks me out or pisses me off I need to depend on me. I've got to depend on me. Would I like to think that if I close my eyes and fall he would catch me? Of course, duh! But I feel that I put more of an effort than he does. I mean he knows that when he is in VA he has a place to stay. I don't get that vibe with him. This trip will help me understand if I'm wrong....BODY LANGUAGE!
I'm not gonna go blinded by love. I'm going to pay attention. And again most likely get closure. My cousin's bday is Friday so I'm gonna see what he wants to do. If I don't link up with Marlon on Friday that is totally cool! I wanna go to CityWalk anyways! LOL! Hope you guys have a fantastic weekend! I WILL! LA! TOMMY BURGERS!!! w00t w00t!!! Tacos off chevy chase! (Glendale, CaLi! u know wassssup!)
Sunday, September 14, 2008
AWESOME weekend
This weekend was great. Thursday night I was pretty whipped and had no desire to go out. I had grabbed bout a weekends worth of food from happy hour (thanks ITEQ!) so that took care of bfast n lunch friday. Friday I wanted to go house hunting...the weather was crappy and iLuv lookin at properties when the weather isn't great (look at props when the weather sucks or if its raining hard! Yes! find those leaks!!!)
So mummy didn't know where she hid her mls key so ummm yeah, no mris access for me! lol! So I saw a couple props from the outside then hung out with my friend tiff. Ok so en route to my friend tiff's place EMC calls for an interview...sSHIT! Pull the FuCk ova! LOL! So I did the interview on the phone with an engineer and did very well. OMG guys! This job would be a senior slot over diff agencies with the dept of labor. Sooo HAUTE ;-D
Ok, so after doing fairly well with that interview, they said a face-face would be coming soon! Cool, so heading over to my friend tiff's place we meet up head to Tau Tau for some good füken chinese and then to potomac mills (Ugh! I h8 going south of spgfd). So while at PM i get another interview phone call for a position that would get my clearance upgraded again! I told the dood ok, im at PM so it may be noisey. OMG, aced that interview too! Setting up a Face-Face. I told both of them friday is a no-go as I am going to LA.
LA will be cool....I need to set some things str8 with my possible other half (that's a different blog tho). So hung out with my best friends partied at their place. Well we actually went to my friends of 16years two blocks over (distance rocks) and got drunk over there...my poor...poor friend Chris doesn't really drink and got roughly introduced to Vodka red bulls. Yummy! So guess who was worshipin the pocelain god this weekend? w00t w00t! not me (Go Dirty!)
Saturday came and I was ready for King's Dominion...I only had to bring three peeps and we'd leave at my place by 6pm to get there by 8 and ride as many rides as possible b4 11pm (when they close the rides down). It was cool, a park full of gays...GIMME GIMME GIMME! So Rob was good, he got by 15mins early. Cool! Took care of parking and then I get a txt from Christina sayin "I'm gonna b a little late! Gimme til 7".
Ok this is NOT cool...NOT COOL! I compromised and thanked her for makin me look like an asshole by givin her till 630. So I was hungry. Rob and I made a taco hell run and ate. I told Rob we're leavin at 645 no matter what. So 645 came, I got the phone call and told her to meet us down there.
I told Rob, this is why I don't have friends! And I'm totally cool with that. I have less disappointment in people. Really how much respect do you have for a friend if you think you can waltz in an hour late? None what so ever! If you have issues (family, personal, or whatever) you politely cancel and say "Let's make it up later". The avenue she went put me in a spot and makes me look like an asshole. Well we left and she turned around not wanting to drive 3 hours for the park. I told Rob that I wasn't going to get upset about this and will deal with it Monday, or right now as it were. So let's see...two weeks ago I'm a dick for not letting her stay in my condo Tues - Sat, get an e-mail wishing me bad karma and this weekend nothing but disappointment.
This is bogus, now before I paint this picture of all the negative sides of Christina I will end it with this: She has a big kind heart, is spontaneous and if it looks fun she'll do it with you. If you have a problem she will listen to you, stand by your side (even if you're wrong) and give generally speaking good advice. That is her good side. It's the child like behavior that boggles me down, yet I enjoy her youthful outlook on life.
Ok so after that lil bit of drama we head to the park....CHEESE!
Nice shot! iHad no idea the group of people we'd see there. I knew that Cam would be there Rob prolly would too! *Pssssh* they brought the DCBoyz wit 'em! I could name maybe 5/6 guys in this pic, but all of them were TONS & TONS of fun! I was laughin~n~smilin all night. Good people, good friends (*MUah- Cam & Rob*), good times.
I think the longest line I had was 10 mins long. How fükin fabulous was that? iLuv'd it!!!
Saw a couple other people that I knew there and then @ like 1am headed out to the hotel
The boys rented a sleuth of rooms and we had sum drinks and then I was ready for food. We had a denny's across the street....LETs DO IT! Ok, we could've had denny's or sum truck stop diner food (luv u robbie). I gives a fuck, both places had french toast (w00t w00t!). So me cam and rob/rob were on mission operation: feed me. We had a nice lady Evelyn serving us and iLuv'd her facial experessions! She rock'd we ate had sum conversation about WTF was it? G4...blah blah blah....playstation, xbox...ummmmmm i don't know! I play wii fit! lol! and mario kart 5 times....I can get down with that! LOL! I started talkin bout Lehman Brothers Holding and then all of a sudden it was time to go (Dammit! I wanted to talk stocks! lol!)
Didn't wanna cramp n e one so me n rob headed back to superNOVA. Very few cops on the roads (thank-you those who took the hit for us) and we made it back in good time.
My weekend rocked, and I'm ready for LA. Go Whitney!!!
Ooooooh...How will I know (Don't trust your feelings)...How will I know? How will I know (Love can be deceiving) How will I knooooow? How will I know if he really loves me? I say a prayer with every heart beat
I fall in love whenever we meet
I'm asking you what you know about these things
How will I know if he's thinking of me
I try to phone but I'm too shy (can't speak)
Falling in love is all bitter sweet
This love is strong why do I feel weak
Monday, September 8, 2008
He loves me...he loves me not...he loves me...
Whats up guys...back from the weekend. Well I was on my way to work and got texts from Cali. The message caught my attention because it had said something about me being selfish. My eyes were shocked. So after walking to the office I decided that we needed to talk. The talk was going to end what we had started. So I got the voicemail and asked that he call me back when he gets a sec..
So I got the call and stepped outside the office. I said that I didn't appreciate going through the pain and suffering and that I had gone through enough of it with the loss of my family members and grieving. Two totally different pages...his pain and suffering was coming from my not calling/texting him. That was something else we had to discuss. We had a miscommunication however if you feel that way then call me, txt me or write me. A relationship that we have MUST go 60/40 or 40/60. There will not be a 20/80 or 80/20. So that's something that he's gonna work on for me. I think we patched things up and I wrote him an e-mail re-capping what we had discussed. I'm glad throughout this whole ordeal that I don't suffer from a low self-esteem and can walk away if I want to. That is HUGE!
The conversation went pretty well and I'm not gonna go 'head over heels' until i see some action. "more than words to show you feel, that you're love for me is real..."
So I got the call and stepped outside the office. I said that I didn't appreciate going through the pain and suffering and that I had gone through enough of it with the loss of my family members and grieving. Two totally different pages...his pain and suffering was coming from my not calling/texting him. That was something else we had to discuss. We had a miscommunication however if you feel that way then call me, txt me or write me. A relationship that we have MUST go 60/40 or 40/60. There will not be a 20/80 or 80/20. So that's something that he's gonna work on for me. I think we patched things up and I wrote him an e-mail re-capping what we had discussed. I'm glad throughout this whole ordeal that I don't suffer from a low self-esteem and can walk away if I want to. That is HUGE!
The conversation went pretty well and I'm not gonna go 'head over heels' until i see some action. "more than words to show you feel, that you're love for me is real..."
Friday, August 22, 2008
7am....too early ta light a fag?
first off, "GOOD MORNING WORLD!"
...that felt good!
It's real nice outside this am...I left the windows/balcony door open last night. It wasn't so much about conservation, my vent and wall that where the A/C unit is at is pretty damp. I have no idea why, I just know I got a new respect for property managers and tenants.
I try so hard not to bug Jen (my landlord) about stuff because I have tenants in TX and LOVE not hearing from them ^_^
...But I let her know about this....hopefully it's just a one time thing and i'll just hafta paint over it when I leave next February.
So....where am I gonna go? Its def not too early to think about! I'm looking at properties. Not feeling the condo thing (because stoopid co-owners like hikin the GAWD DAYUM condo fees!)...13% increase meeting happening this Saturday. Boooooo! Dirty gives them two fingers DOWN! Well my friend LuLu has left or excuse me is leaving Kuwait so that isn't as big of an interest as it could've been. Brussels will ALWAYS be on my mind...$$$ in DC wouldn't be bad. iLuv that I got my best friends here (Luv yah Chris n Tiff), my family and a friend.
Ok, so I'm going to blog about this one last time and then from here on out I will reference Marlon as "him". I haven't heard from him in past couple weeks. And it took putting the advice my friends were giving and turning it into energy. One special person that I met (thanks Babe) through my friend pushed me to where I needed to go. I'm not going to share the chat we had, but it was enough to lift my spirits and bulldoze the brick wall I had built myself. Letting go is hard...it's like giving up on someone. And if you see goodness in that person you don't want to let go. But if that person brings you disappointment and frustration...why put yourself through it?
Love is a two-way street...One person will always feel stronger about the other person. And if you can balance that off to a 40/60...60/40 ur gonna have a healthy relationship.
I've got a lot of things spinnin in my mind that I've went over...and I'm not gonna blog about it (not out of shame) just cause they're private and will stay in my head. Ok, enuf of this....
ISN'T IT FUCKING GORGEOUS OUTSIDE?!? =)
~XOXOX~ mikey
...that felt good!
It's real nice outside this am...I left the windows/balcony door open last night. It wasn't so much about conservation, my vent and wall that where the A/C unit is at is pretty damp. I have no idea why, I just know I got a new respect for property managers and tenants.
I try so hard not to bug Jen (my landlord) about stuff because I have tenants in TX and LOVE not hearing from them ^_^
...But I let her know about this....hopefully it's just a one time thing and i'll just hafta paint over it when I leave next February.
So....where am I gonna go? Its def not too early to think about! I'm looking at properties. Not feeling the condo thing (because stoopid co-owners like hikin the GAWD DAYUM condo fees!)...13% increase meeting happening this Saturday. Boooooo! Dirty gives them two fingers DOWN! Well my friend LuLu has left or excuse me is leaving Kuwait so that isn't as big of an interest as it could've been. Brussels will ALWAYS be on my mind...$$$ in DC wouldn't be bad. iLuv that I got my best friends here (Luv yah Chris n Tiff), my family and a friend.
Ok, so I'm going to blog about this one last time and then from here on out I will reference Marlon as "him". I haven't heard from him in past couple weeks. And it took putting the advice my friends were giving and turning it into energy. One special person that I met (thanks Babe) through my friend pushed me to where I needed to go. I'm not going to share the chat we had, but it was enough to lift my spirits and bulldoze the brick wall I had built myself. Letting go is hard...it's like giving up on someone. And if you see goodness in that person you don't want to let go. But if that person brings you disappointment and frustration...why put yourself through it?
Love is a two-way street...One person will always feel stronger about the other person. And if you can balance that off to a 40/60...60/40 ur gonna have a healthy relationship.
I've got a lot of things spinnin in my mind that I've went over...and I'm not gonna blog about it (not out of shame) just cause they're private and will stay in my head. Ok, enuf of this....
ISN'T IT FUCKING GORGEOUS OUTSIDE?!? =)
~XOXOX~ mikey
RE:POST ~*Poetic*~
It really hurt that you never called
And I think of you all the time
It hurt so much that I'm feelin poetic
And thinkin of ways to rhyme
I wrote you a message, sent you a text
No response was your reply
After day 3 the answer was clear
...'He's just another guy'
Letdowns will happen and baby I know that
So here is now where I start
Dust off my shoulders and move on to the next guy
someone who won't crush my heart
The emptiness that clouds my heart is opague and rather foggy
But the cloud has this bright streak..we'll call it my silver lining
The silver lining is what i learned from this cloud I built myself
I will always keep my guard up whenever dating, dancing, or dining
The past guys I've linked up with
I've treated pretty shallow
I blocked them off from my true self
so they can't make my heart feel hollow
The feeling is not satisfying to let people go
Your eyes tear and throat balls up to where you can't even speak
But then I look in the mirror, toughen myself up..Y?
Because I don't ever wanna to feel weak
Now my heart feels better
Probably because I wrote this poem
Letting go of someone special
Is like watching your child leave his home
And although I end this poem
I end it feeling somewhat incomplete
I lift my head up and dust my shoulders off
...for the feeling is not defeat!
And I think of you all the time
It hurt so much that I'm feelin poetic
And thinkin of ways to rhyme
I wrote you a message, sent you a text
No response was your reply
After day 3 the answer was clear
...'He's just another guy'
Letdowns will happen and baby I know that
So here is now where I start
Dust off my shoulders and move on to the next guy
someone who won't crush my heart
The emptiness that clouds my heart is opague and rather foggy
But the cloud has this bright streak..we'll call it my silver lining
The silver lining is what i learned from this cloud I built myself
I will always keep my guard up whenever dating, dancing, or dining
The past guys I've linked up with
I've treated pretty shallow
I blocked them off from my true self
so they can't make my heart feel hollow
The feeling is not satisfying to let people go
Your eyes tear and throat balls up to where you can't even speak
But then I look in the mirror, toughen myself up..Y?
Because I don't ever wanna to feel weak
Now my heart feels better
Probably because I wrote this poem
Letting go of someone special
Is like watching your child leave his home
And although I end this poem
I end it feeling somewhat incomplete
I lift my head up and dust my shoulders off
...for the feeling is not defeat!
Monday, August 18, 2008
B-o.....i need more weekends!
Aight so last Thurs i was kinda stressin at work cuz I actually got a fuckin assignment! So I put my oreo cookies down, wiped the potato chips off my marinara stained polo and put myself "in the zone". Ok, so when you review and make changes to an exchange server it is always best to do it when users aren't online. SO say if ur going to do maintenance to I dunno...Bangkok, you'd probably wanna do that between the hours 7am - 5pm EST. If you have an IQ higher than a fruit fly and grasp the concept of time and the earth's rotation then you're way too smart to be a contractor and I applaud you for that....However these knuckleheads didn't grasp time...stressed the hell out of me ON MY FRIDAY! and in the end I left work with no food in my tummy at 10pm to go to Apex hopefully bump into some peeps and of c0urse grab a drink n burn a fag or two.
Anyways I head to Apex and dammit...no dice! I refuse to go 2 cobalt's so after a drink or two I head out to light me fags on fire. So I'm out there gettin checked out by the fag hags who introduce me to their disasters "Luv it *wink*" and then I see this dood I met at town couple months back. The convo we had was awesome....we showed off our equipment 2 each other (Phones baby! Phones) and didn't swap numbers. Aight so I got Dwayne's number...he got mine. If something comes out of that, great...if not aight so be it! It was cool seein him again and now we got each other's number
Friday was freakin mega mega super busy! i really don't know why...maybe poor time management? Oh yeah that's right I had lunch with my grandma, followed by a walk or hike in Great Falls. That place is beautiful and i'll upload pix to this blog thingy! After an afternoon in the park "Awwww" we made it back to spgfd. GOt GUILTED into goin to the movies to see Tropic Thunder and *OINK OINK* grab a large popcorn w/butter, salt and Diet Coke ;)
The movie rocked! I loved the beginning commercials! They were freakin awesome! And the movie was cool, so y it got not so hot reviews is beyond me. I mean DUH it's no dark knight but come the fuck on! It's not like watching flies fuck! Oh, fav one liner from the movie: At least you got to pick your kid, I'm stuck with mine! AwEsom3 one liner for those who adopt!
So I went to Town..got a lil smashed...met my bois up there...actually saw a lot of peeps I knew! Stomache was in pain from the popcorn (eck! I better not be buildin up a tolerance for junk food!). Eventually the patron just started to kill/balance off the acid built up. So that told me more shots were to come! lol! Some drama went down that night too, but nuthin that good friends can't help each other wit (Besos Papi, find happiness)
Sat- Rock climbin in Alexandria with my boi Cam and Gary. That was fantastic! I didn't think that my upper-body could handle that after a night of drinkin but shit! I think I did well....Oh fuck that! I know I did well ;-D...It was cool, we got there and Gary was the 1st to go up the wall. Ummmm....this dood did the GAWD DAYUM wall in Demo time. I was like TIME! 90seconds...Aight Cam, beat that shit! lol! The 1st climb I went up I was on top but didn't get to touch the freakin beam! Dammit! So i flew down and literally couldn't stand up I was like a 5 yr old on a mat! So we did like 3 more climbs and had fun on kiddy hill. It was gravy...headed back to DC n had sum lunch. I forgot the name but their salads do NOT even compare to the Chopped Salad shop in Chinatown! mmmm....chopped salad!!! Ok got home to shower and txt Dwayne. Work work work...FINE! Called the house and found out we were havin dinner at my sis's work. O snap! Cheese for dinner, popcorn the day before??? Can I have a McFlabby for dessert? Aight so we head down there and I sooo much cheese that if I ate anotha bite I'd be on my knees like the olson twins singin alto to the porcelain gawd! It was freakin delicious but DAMN'd filling! So went home and had a nice 2hr nap. Wakey-wakey...chk'd what was up wit Dwayne, didn't feel like hittin Town up but wanted 2 toast my bartenda for climbin up the wall! I think i did end up hittin Town up...Was it crowded? Shit i 4got! I don't think we stayed that long if we went there. Crashed @ my boi's place and woke up to the sweeet smell of scotty's coffee! ^_^
Mmmmmm....best homemade coffeee ever! Headed to spgfd for family time and then work. Sunday's never are spectacular since those are my mondays but man!
Overall I kept busy n reconnected with peeps I hadn't seen in a while. That was awesome. I haven't heard from my forbidden fruit up in Cali in a while. It's probably best that way. I tell you the one person that I'll let fuck with my head is him, and it's only because I allow it. I love him, and that feeling will never die out. That I won't allow. But the realization of me and him never going to happen is easy to write say or type out. But having the emotion...having this realm..this fantasy to not become the reality I'd wish and lust after leaves a bittersweet taste in my mouth. I guess I hafta to learn to Unbind, Unleash, Relinquish, Release
Anyways I head to Apex and dammit...no dice! I refuse to go 2 cobalt's so after a drink or two I head out to light me fags on fire. So I'm out there gettin checked out by the fag hags who introduce me to their disasters "Luv it *wink*" and then I see this dood I met at town couple months back. The convo we had was awesome....we showed off our equipment 2 each other (Phones baby! Phones) and didn't swap numbers. Aight so I got Dwayne's number...he got mine. If something comes out of that, great...if not aight so be it! It was cool seein him again and now we got each other's number
Friday was freakin mega mega super busy! i really don't know why...maybe poor time management? Oh yeah that's right I had lunch with my grandma, followed by a walk or hike in Great Falls. That place is beautiful and i'll upload pix to this blog thingy! After an afternoon in the park "Awwww" we made it back to spgfd. GOt GUILTED into goin to the movies to see Tropic Thunder and *OINK OINK* grab a large popcorn w/butter, salt and Diet Coke ;)
The movie rocked! I loved the beginning commercials! They were freakin awesome! And the movie was cool, so y it got not so hot reviews is beyond me. I mean DUH it's no dark knight but come the fuck on! It's not like watching flies fuck! Oh, fav one liner from the movie: At least you got to pick your kid, I'm stuck with mine! AwEsom3 one liner for those who adopt!
So I went to Town..got a lil smashed...met my bois up there...actually saw a lot of peeps I knew! Stomache was in pain from the popcorn (eck! I better not be buildin up a tolerance for junk food!). Eventually the patron just started to kill/balance off the acid built up. So that told me more shots were to come! lol! Some drama went down that night too, but nuthin that good friends can't help each other wit (Besos Papi, find happiness)
Sat- Rock climbin in Alexandria with my boi Cam and Gary. That was fantastic! I didn't think that my upper-body could handle that after a night of drinkin but shit! I think I did well....Oh fuck that! I know I did well ;-D...It was cool, we got there and Gary was the 1st to go up the wall. Ummmm....this dood did the GAWD DAYUM wall in Demo time. I was like TIME! 90seconds...Aight Cam, beat that shit! lol! The 1st climb I went up I was on top but didn't get to touch the freakin beam! Dammit! So i flew down and literally couldn't stand up I was like a 5 yr old on a mat! So we did like 3 more climbs and had fun on kiddy hill. It was gravy...headed back to DC n had sum lunch. I forgot the name but their salads do NOT even compare to the Chopped Salad shop in Chinatown! mmmm....chopped salad!!! Ok got home to shower and txt Dwayne. Work work work...FINE! Called the house and found out we were havin dinner at my sis's work. O snap! Cheese for dinner, popcorn the day before??? Can I have a McFlabby for dessert? Aight so we head down there and I sooo much cheese that if I ate anotha bite I'd be on my knees like the olson twins singin alto to the porcelain gawd! It was freakin delicious but DAMN'd filling! So went home and had a nice 2hr nap. Wakey-wakey...chk'd what was up wit Dwayne, didn't feel like hittin Town up but wanted 2 toast my bartenda for climbin up the wall! I think i did end up hittin Town up...Was it crowded? Shit i 4got! I don't think we stayed that long if we went there. Crashed @ my boi's place and woke up to the sweeet smell of scotty's coffee! ^_^
Mmmmmm....best homemade coffeee ever! Headed to spgfd for family time and then work. Sunday's never are spectacular since those are my mondays but man!
Overall I kept busy n reconnected with peeps I hadn't seen in a while. That was awesome. I haven't heard from my forbidden fruit up in Cali in a while. It's probably best that way. I tell you the one person that I'll let fuck with my head is him, and it's only because I allow it. I love him, and that feeling will never die out. That I won't allow. But the realization of me and him never going to happen is easy to write say or type out. But having the emotion...having this realm..this fantasy to not become the reality I'd wish and lust after leaves a bittersweet taste in my mouth. I guess I hafta to learn to Unbind, Unleash, Relinquish, Release
(and no that poem did NOT go out to him!). I do know that when I find that someone special I won't compare them to him. Because it's not fair. But until some of these guys step their game up I'll just be single and blessed with good friends and if I'm lucky make new ones on the way.
~ besos
Friday, August 1, 2008
Unbind, Unleash, Relinquish, Release
My soul is very tired and can not take it anymore
Pack your bags, leave your keys and don't slam the God Damn door
Delete my number from your phone
I'm moving on, there's no one home
From the worst times to the best
I put all these memories to rest
Never to be awaken; an endless sleep is where they'll lie
I walk away from these memories; let them wither away and die
Inside my mind I'm frustrated, tears are rolling down my eyes
I say these words in my head, take a deep breath and sigh
I unbind, I unleash, I relinquish, I release
The tingling down my spine, I got goosebumps on my arms
The flame that burns on this wick guards my soul from harm
I picture when I met you and the joy it brought to my life
Yet the way you fucked with my head, it cuts me like a knife
I unbind, I unleash, I relinquish, I release
Take these photos off my mirror, put them in this flame that burns
The smoke is getting darker and as I inhale my head turns
I'm blowing out this candle! Away black smoke I've reached my inner-peace
I unbind, I unleash, I relinquish, I release
Pack your bags, leave your keys and don't slam the God Damn door
Delete my number from your phone
I'm moving on, there's no one home
From the worst times to the best
I put all these memories to rest
Never to be awaken; an endless sleep is where they'll lie
I walk away from these memories; let them wither away and die
Inside my mind I'm frustrated, tears are rolling down my eyes
I say these words in my head, take a deep breath and sigh
I unbind, I unleash, I relinquish, I release
The tingling down my spine, I got goosebumps on my arms
The flame that burns on this wick guards my soul from harm
I picture when I met you and the joy it brought to my life
Yet the way you fucked with my head, it cuts me like a knife
I unbind, I unleash, I relinquish, I release
Take these photos off my mirror, put them in this flame that burns
The smoke is getting darker and as I inhale my head turns
I'm blowing out this candle! Away black smoke I've reached my inner-peace
I unbind, I unleash, I relinquish, I release
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Birthday Blast
Wow o wow....where do i begin with how much this bday rocked? The fact that Marlon was here? Or that my family and friends rock? I mean wow....spent the last hour of 26 at Cap City Brew with my sis, jason and marlon...toastin my mid 20s away and welcomin the late 20s w00t w00t!
We drank played pool then headed home...man! that was fuckin awesome! I loved wakin up next to that special someone and hearin "Happy Birthday"...nobody's gift topped that! Nobody's! It was fuckin special (*sorry for makin u miss ur flight papi*) :-o
My babe left that day and I was doin pretty well...I stayed and watched him leave and the minute he gave me that last wave I said the most stupidest thing to myself...
...
.....
"Don't leave me"
.......
OMG! im startin to ball right now just thinkin of it! BB told me not to get attached and keep it real...he's in Cali and I'm in DC...but I love havin the feelin knowin that I can carry this emotion and have joyful tears...I was sooo blessed that he was able to come out here! That was fuckin awesome :-)
N e who, went with the fam to Todai and it was delicious! Had a forgettable (Thank Goodness!) evenin at TOWN and apparently went shirtless ~:-O (I'm shocked!)
I'm not really goin to TOWN n e more but since it was my birthday, i put the car in Secure Parkin and had a blast. Well I'm def givin up drinkin (oh yeah! thats how gr8 I feel) and holy shit! I didn't smoke last night :-o....Dammit Marlon! Look what u fuckin started!!! GRRRR
(**UPDATE**: My sis jus pissed in my cherrios and told me i had two fags last night! UgH!)
I love that I had a lot of cards, e-cards, msgs from myspace n facebook. U guys all rock and I'm so glad to have you all as friends *GROUP HUG* ~:-P
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
~*MarLoN*~
So i'm at work and guess who calls...yup! So I'm like hey wassup papi and the next words out of his mouth freaked me the hell out at work, "I'm in DC". OMFG ARE YOU FUCKIN SERIOUS! Real professional to scream at work, right?
Yeah...so needless to say I left work early, went to BWI and had an awesome evening with my papi! He flys out on my birthday, but its cool! I'm gonna take Thursday night off and make the evening go real....slooooow! Wow! I mean Wow!!!
~:-)
Yeah...so needless to say I left work early, went to BWI and had an awesome evening with my papi! He flys out on my birthday, but its cool! I'm gonna take Thursday night off and make the evening go real....slooooow! Wow! I mean Wow!!!
~:-)
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Thursday!
Oh praise Allah! It's finally Thursday!!! Time for my ritual! Go to Capitol City Brewing Co and have my two victory beers! This weekend has the potential of bein packed or laid back...either way I'm totally stoked that it's like here n stuff! I've been growin more and more in love with Marlon as we talk on the phone / chat...I'm waiting for this big letdown because I've been feeling pretty high/intense this week and I know when I crash I crash HARD! I'm also sooooo happy for my friend Christina! She's got her hubby back which means we can prolly have a normal friendship now and not get on each others nerves High Five n Snap it ova ya left shoulda girl! w00t w00t! lol!
Friday I'm gonna chillax at home or check out Christians cherry red miata (jealous? huh doy! lol)
Sat at 3pm i'm gonna join a group n play sum laser tag...haven't done it in a while (but thats a whole nutha story *bah dum bum psssh*) but it'll be fun no matter what meeting new peeps that aren't in the gay scene....at least that's what naive me thinks! lol!
Thats it for the weekend stuff...Self-improvement is going well (one step at a time): I kicked paranoia in the nuts at least 3 times this week...and it felt great. Everyone, HAVE A FUCKIN FABULOUS WEEKEND! *MuAH* ~:-P
Friday I'm gonna chillax at home or check out Christians cherry red miata (jealous? huh doy! lol)
Sat at 3pm i'm gonna join a group n play sum laser tag...haven't done it in a while (but thats a whole nutha story *bah dum bum psssh*) but it'll be fun no matter what meeting new peeps that aren't in the gay scene....at least that's what naive me thinks! lol!
Thats it for the weekend stuff...Self-improvement is going well (one step at a time): I kicked paranoia in the nuts at least 3 times this week...and it felt great. Everyone, HAVE A FUCKIN FABULOUS WEEKEND! *MuAH* ~:-P
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Th Night
Aight so this week i'm gonna be pet sitting and playing with this brand new 2.5 dual ghz centrino, 4GB ram, 240GB 7200 RPM, 512MB Vid Card, Int finger scanner/webcam/mic, brightview 17" screen! Ohh yeahhhhhh.....mmmmm....talk geeek to me! oooOh! HP Laptop I'll be in Springfield this week and have a 4BR house with a sunroom n hottub all by me onesies! Oh yeah, dirty is gonna chillax this week! I do have an interview on Monday though and the recruiter actually shot me an e-mail sayin to dress professionally. My instincts was to reply back with: Huh DoooooY! but, i guess this thing called maturity (damn u aging!) had me just shake my head up n down thinkin of what else I "could've" replied back with...I was also thinkin, so is that a No for showing up in just a purple thong? It's a business attire I use for my "night job".
Awwww....I sure do miss technical recruiting. It was the BoMb when I was a recruiter...u got lonely by not interacting with people, but your hours freakin rocked especially if u were hiring the right people. From what I hear, things are more organized and structured in Kuwait! Where the hell was I at when I was trying to get that setup! LoL! wow...this blog went from pet sitting, to gettin a hard-on off this HP Laptop, interviewing to technical recruiting. Talk about your A.D.D., eh? So tonight I'll head home and pack some stuff up for Springfield (my KFC! w00t w00t!), another laptop (or as I call it...my Xtop! GigGity!) and some clothes.
Oh yeah, so bout this other job...it's suppose to have actual work! The site is running SLLLOOOOOW on exchange and needs an upgrade! YES! FUCKIN YES!!! I wanna be part of that setup! That would be sooooo freakin cool. So what about this other job....OK, so here me out! lol! This night job is aight, but monotonous. So I was actually toying with the iDea of workin at apple from 10 - 2pm (just for fun and to possibly learn more bout Macs). But this new job is right next door to my current one and is looking for someone from 9am - 3pm...meanwhile my other job starts at 330pm. OMG, rolling in the dough! I don't think that after taxes I'll need to hop over to Kuwait...I mean hell, with my weekends clear and being able to tell either job "I can't make it in" what's the point of going back to the sand? I mean YES! I'm going to miss my friends out there, but its a dealing with the traffic getting to work sucked and not being able to move up within the company...ummm, yeah that sucked too! Why limit myself? My friends will eventually make it back over here, and if not! EgH! There's always myspace and Gmail.
Also this week my inferior Product on-demand (iPod) broke...the Hard Drive just started clicking and what better time to go out, then when you're outta warranty? Right? Right? So again, initial reaction was to smash the fuckin iPod in front of their store and shout out a BIG "FUCK YOU APPLE", but damn this aging thing, I didn't! It felt good to think about tho....So I decided to take a walk around the lake with a friend and smashed the shit outta my iPod! It felt good and when I picked up the pieces I was like noooow ur fuckin broken and I don't have to pay some asshole at the genius bar to tell me that. So after 4 hours of grieving I went to target and picked up iPod #4 (WTF? When will I ever learn)...but this time when I was like TALK FLASH TO ME! I've got a backup mp3 player from 2001 that works because, hello! flash memory! So I got the 32GB iPod Touch. Had people say, y not get the 16GB iPhone for the same price? Well given the fact that I'm going through iPod #4...Do you really think I'm gonna trust apple with music AND telecommunications? Yeeeeeaaaah...no thanks, I'll just carry two devices and when iPod #4 crashes...me & the HTC will have a good laugh and probably chuckle "Can you hear it now?...Nope, its fucked! hahaha" (yes, my HTC talks to me..jealous?)
I'm also undergoin an investigation and had my investigator call me with ?'s. So I answered her questions and next thing you know Adan(m) calls me up the next day and was like "Dood! Some investigator called me and was asking me all sorts of questions". That was pretty quick! 2 days before all this Marlon gives me a call. So I'm at my Dad's office and of course he is as comfortable with me being gay as a cat is swimming across a lake. So we're talkin and he asks me how was my visit with my sister and stuff and then we got down to business. He gave my name to an investigator and needed help with his investigation and gave my name. So all the same it was great hearing from him and it gives me pleasure that I ca help him out professionally :-)
So wish me luck n stuff, I interview on Monday (and not in a purple thong! lol!) and am tired of typin! lol! Laters
Awwww....I sure do miss technical recruiting. It was the BoMb when I was a recruiter...u got lonely by not interacting with people, but your hours freakin rocked especially if u were hiring the right people. From what I hear, things are more organized and structured in Kuwait! Where the hell was I at when I was trying to get that setup! LoL! wow...this blog went from pet sitting, to gettin a hard-on off this HP Laptop, interviewing to technical recruiting. Talk about your A.D.D., eh? So tonight I'll head home and pack some stuff up for Springfield (my KFC! w00t w00t!), another laptop (or as I call it...my Xtop! GigGity!) and some clothes.
Oh yeah, so bout this other job...it's suppose to have actual work! The site is running SLLLOOOOOW on exchange and needs an upgrade! YES! FUCKIN YES!!! I wanna be part of that setup! That would be sooooo freakin cool. So what about this other job....OK, so here me out! lol! This night job is aight, but monotonous. So I was actually toying with the iDea of workin at apple from 10 - 2pm (just for fun and to possibly learn more bout Macs). But this new job is right next door to my current one and is looking for someone from 9am - 3pm...meanwhile my other job starts at 330pm. OMG, rolling in the dough! I don't think that after taxes I'll need to hop over to Kuwait...I mean hell, with my weekends clear and being able to tell either job "I can't make it in" what's the point of going back to the sand? I mean YES! I'm going to miss my friends out there, but its a dealing with the traffic getting to work sucked and not being able to move up within the company...ummm, yeah that sucked too! Why limit myself? My friends will eventually make it back over here, and if not! EgH! There's always myspace and Gmail.
Also this week my inferior Product on-demand (iPod) broke...the Hard Drive just started clicking and what better time to go out, then when you're outta warranty? Right? Right? So again, initial reaction was to smash the fuckin iPod in front of their store and shout out a BIG "FUCK YOU APPLE", but damn this aging thing, I didn't! It felt good to think about tho....So I decided to take a walk around the lake with a friend and smashed the shit outta my iPod! It felt good and when I picked up the pieces I was like noooow ur fuckin broken and I don't have to pay some asshole at the genius bar to tell me that. So after 4 hours of grieving I went to target and picked up iPod #4 (WTF? When will I ever learn)...but this time when I was like TALK FLASH TO ME! I've got a backup mp3 player from 2001 that works because, hello! flash memory! So I got the 32GB iPod Touch. Had people say, y not get the 16GB iPhone for the same price? Well given the fact that I'm going through iPod #4...Do you really think I'm gonna trust apple with music AND telecommunications? Yeeeeeaaaah...no thanks, I'll just carry two devices and when iPod #4 crashes...me & the HTC will have a good laugh and probably chuckle "Can you hear it now?...Nope, its fucked! hahaha" (yes, my HTC talks to me..jealous?)
I'm also undergoin an investigation and had my investigator call me with ?'s. So I answered her questions and next thing you know Adan(m) calls me up the next day and was like "Dood! Some investigator called me and was asking me all sorts of questions". That was pretty quick! 2 days before all this Marlon gives me a call. So I'm at my Dad's office and of course he is as comfortable with me being gay as a cat is swimming across a lake. So we're talkin and he asks me how was my visit with my sister and stuff and then we got down to business. He gave my name to an investigator and needed help with his investigation and gave my name. So all the same it was great hearing from him and it gives me pleasure that I ca help him out professionally :-)
So wish me luck n stuff, I interview on Monday (and not in a purple thong! lol!) and am tired of typin! lol! Laters
Monday, March 10, 2008
5 more days! w00t w00t!
*Le Sigh* 5 more days till Shamrock Fest...So lets see what have I been up to this week...hmmm...Oh, I'm gettin my bean bags in :-D
http://www.overstock.com/Bulk-Home-Garden/Adultsize-Premium-Memory-Foam-Lounge-Bag-Case-of-2/2293333/product.html
I'm getting 2 Hazelhut & 2 Chocolate color bean bags! Come on! With my Living room set, how fabulous are those colors gonna look?
Ok also this past week my sis like helped me out BIG time on decorating my living room. I told her where the big couch is I wanted to have a panoramic view of Los Angeles (give it up! It's where dirty was born) and she said on the other wall to get like 22x24 or something to that measurement of cities (Dubai, Paris, Seoul, China, etc..) places where I've been...Black and White :-)
I love that idea and am soooo gonna do it! I'm truly done furniture shopping (with the exception of a cool bar console or a nice round lazy susan table (i'm envisioning a table with built in cup holders (they don't move) and in the center the lazy susan table (48inches in diameter) that spins (popcorn, chips...you name it)...dark brown would be nice. People can eat on the bean bags and hold their bowl or plate and let their cup rest on the dinner table. Can someone please build that for me ~:-P
OooooH! I'm using my massaging chair a lot now! lol! When I left for Kuwait I said I wanted three things when I get back...1.) Massaging Chair from Brookstone; 2.) Huge MAC PC (the one I created was $10K; 3.) LifeFitness 9500HR Elliptical Machine
...so! Being in a condo knocked that machine out and I've grown away from apple products with the exception of their inferior Products on demand otherwise known as iPod. ;)
Love life is non existent but I'm having fun going out and meeting new people. I wrote a poem bout marlon i guess a lil over a week ago and sent it to him...I really don't write poetry unless inspired (which sucks because I do enjoy writing it) but yeah I sent it to him and it made a mark on him...so we've been talkin and IMin each other. He's coming to DC for a class (I don't know how long) so we'll link up.
Aight I didn't hit the gym today (Bad Dirty!) so i'm gonna wake up early hit gold's then go to work and do cardio during my lunch hour. Ok...hands up, who believed that?? HAHAHA well Gold's might not be true, but I'm gonna do the gym at work!
...
......
Ok again, hands up! Who believed that? Well u fuckin have better believed it! lol! laters
http://www.overstock.com/Bulk-Home-Garden/Adultsize-Premium-Memory-Foam-Lounge-Bag-Case-of-2/2293333/product.html
I'm getting 2 Hazelhut & 2 Chocolate color bean bags! Come on! With my Living room set, how fabulous are those colors gonna look?
Ok also this past week my sis like helped me out BIG time on decorating my living room. I told her where the big couch is I wanted to have a panoramic view of Los Angeles (give it up! It's where dirty was born) and she said on the other wall to get like 22x24 or something to that measurement of cities (Dubai, Paris, Seoul, China, etc..) places where I've been...Black and White :-)
I love that idea and am soooo gonna do it! I'm truly done furniture shopping (with the exception of a cool bar console or a nice round lazy susan table (i'm envisioning a table with built in cup holders (they don't move) and in the center the lazy susan table (48inches in diameter) that spins (popcorn, chips...you name it)...dark brown would be nice. People can eat on the bean bags and hold their bowl or plate and let their cup rest on the dinner table. Can someone please build that for me ~:-P
OooooH! I'm using my massaging chair a lot now! lol! When I left for Kuwait I said I wanted three things when I get back...1.) Massaging Chair from Brookstone; 2.) Huge MAC PC (the one I created was $10K; 3.) LifeFitness 9500HR Elliptical Machine
...so! Being in a condo knocked that machine out and I've grown away from apple products with the exception of their inferior Products on demand otherwise known as iPod. ;)
Love life is non existent but I'm having fun going out and meeting new people. I wrote a poem bout marlon i guess a lil over a week ago and sent it to him...I really don't write poetry unless inspired (which sucks because I do enjoy writing it) but yeah I sent it to him and it made a mark on him...so we've been talkin and IMin each other. He's coming to DC for a class (I don't know how long) so we'll link up.
Aight I didn't hit the gym today (Bad Dirty!) so i'm gonna wake up early hit gold's then go to work and do cardio during my lunch hour. Ok...hands up, who believed that?? HAHAHA well Gold's might not be true, but I'm gonna do the gym at work!
...
......
Ok again, hands up! Who believed that? Well u fuckin have better believed it! lol! laters
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