Personal Rant: May the chips fall where they fall

To add on to the last blog and of course at 352am (brought to you by Patron & Grey Goose) I've decided to also let go people who do not help me progress in life. On principle I like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. If enough people tell you dog shit tastes like dog shit though you tend to be leery. So I can't help but be attracted to jerks. Well if that's the case then did I not learn a damn thing from the past. This guy hangs with our group of friends and I'm ready to let go and just be left alone for a minute.

This night probably wouldn't have happened had I not had driven my friends and their plus one to town. The plus one is the ex of the guy I messed around with. *RED FLAGS* what happened last time? What did we learn? So after drinks and everything he owns how he and his ex still mess around. Disturbing but not surprising. I'm not sure I believe him entirely but when you got a shitty reputation or that of being a player it's not hard to imagine. I'm not gonna cold blind ignore him but will let him know through a face to face that I gotta let him go and that I hope their is no animosity towards us. It does hurt cuz I got feelings for him, but I love myself much more than to let myself fall for a 3 or 4 when I dealt with a 7 and 8 in love. I will address this tomorrow and then move on towards my 30s. Over it!!!

Done done done.....let me unbind, unleash, relinquish, release....

7am....too early ta light a fag?

first off, "GOOD MORNING WORLD!"
...that felt good!

It's real nice outside this am...I left the windows/balcony door open last night. It wasn't so much about conservation, my vent and wall that where the A/C unit is at is pretty damp. I have no idea why, I just know I got a new respect for property managers and tenants.
I try so hard not to bug Jen (my landlord) about stuff because I have tenants in TX and LOVE not hearing from them ^_^
...But I let her know about this....hopefully it's just a one time thing and i'll just hafta paint over it when I leave next February.

So....where am I gonna go? Its def not too early to think about! I'm looking at properties. Not feeling the condo thing (because stoopid co-owners like hikin the GAWD DAYUM condo fees!)...13% increase meeting happening this Saturday. Boooooo! Dirty gives them two fingers DOWN! Well my friend LuLu has left or excuse me is leaving Kuwait so that isn't as big of an interest as it could've been. Brussels will ALWAYS be on my mind...$$$ in DC wouldn't be bad. iLuv that I got my best friends here (Luv yah Chris n Tiff), my family and a friend.

Ok, so I'm going to blog about this one last time and then from here on out I will reference Marlon as "him". I haven't heard from him in past couple weeks. And it took putting the advice my friends were giving and turning it into energy. One special person that I met (thanks Babe) through my friend pushed me to where I needed to go. I'm not going to share the chat we had, but it was enough to lift my spirits and bulldoze the brick wall I had built myself. Letting go is hard...it's like giving up on someone. And if you see goodness in that person you don't want to let go. But if that person brings you disappointment and frustration...why put yourself through it?
Love is a two-way street...One person will always feel stronger about the other person. And if you can balance that off to a 40/60...60/40 ur gonna have a healthy relationship.

I've got a lot of things spinnin in my mind that I've went over...and I'm not gonna blog about it (not out of shame) just cause they're private and will stay in my head. Ok, enuf of this....

ISN'T IT FUCKING GORGEOUS OUTSIDE?!? =)
~XOXOX~ mikey

RE:POST ~*Poetic*~

It really hurt that you never called
And I think of you all the time
It hurt so much that I'm feelin poetic
And thinkin of ways to rhyme

I wrote you a message, sent you a text
No response was your reply
After day 3 the answer was clear
...'He's just another guy'

Letdowns will happen and baby I know that
So here is now where I start
Dust off my shoulders and move on to the next guy
someone who won't crush my heart

The emptiness that clouds my heart is opague and rather foggy
But the cloud has this bright streak..we'll call it my silver lining
The silver lining is what i learned from this cloud I built myself
I will always keep my guard up whenever dating, dancing, or dining

The past guys I've linked up with
I've treated pretty shallow
I blocked them off from my true self
so they can't make my heart feel hollow

The feeling is not satisfying to let people go
Your eyes tear and throat balls up to where you can't even speak
But then I look in the mirror, toughen myself up..Y?
Because I don't ever wanna to feel weak

Now my heart feels better
Probably because I wrote this poem
Letting go of someone special
Is like watching your child leave his home

And although I end this poem
I end it feeling somewhat incomplete
I lift my head up and dust my shoulders off
...for the feeling is not defeat!

So here I go again on my own...

Hey guess what?!? had my first house party today! w00t w00t! So we started off watchin eddie murphy: RAW (I love tha flick) and then started off some music/south park and playin Suites. It was fun as fuck (pause, dirty get some water!)...once 1:50 came along and a neighbor asked me to keep it down we started to stop and that's where it was hard was gettin these everyone to leave. After an 1 hr 1/2, they had left (or soooo you may think)...*insert a lot of bullshit drama to include my BF comin up wantin to stay the night...blah blah blah, went back down after 30 more mins*. Meanwhile at the bat cave my "friend" (we'll get into that) Christian was writin me cuz he was havin a bad day...so I told him that I my friends were havin a bad day and they felt i was rushin them off because I wanted him to come over...he asks why and i told him because they think you are just a piece of ass to me. I told him i wish he wasn't but he hung up on me! OoooooH! Dirty got pissed and called him back...NO ANSWER, shot him a txt sayin:
Wow, I can't believe u hung up on me...as if dealin with my friends drama wasn't enuf U decided to do that?? I know you had a bad day so MAYBE we got disconnected
He shot back: Booooooo
So I shot back:
U hung up on me! Dood i know you got some drama goin down right now like i do but bendito don't do tha shyt. U call or text when u calm down, u got me? Cuidate
He shoots me back: Naaah....

So yeh, dirty sent back "Adios" and thats done! I won't fuckin tolerate disrespect....FUCK UR MAKEUP SEX, IF THEY FUCK UP U DON'T NEED TA HIT 'EM UP!

So yeah...I'm still gonna head out to town..find the right guy for me. I was drunk on Friday night and saw that I had texted/called this one dood...didn't know wha happened with the call but i saw wha I had texted him and was like wow! I'm pretty blunt! Aight this dood has a cool personality but keepin it real...He says he wants to hang out, but not so much. He's got HIV and I NEVER! NEVER held that against him, because if I ever had that virus I would not want people to seclude me...Judge me by my character/quality...not something that doesn't have anything to do with you. I always want people to see me who I am and what is down en la corazon...if they don't get to that level, then so be it I have no problem cuttin people off! I fuckin know how dust tha shyt off my left shoulder and move on! Jus like Marlon, no calls or text after 5 days, Orale papi! Laid n Played, I got u! I ain't fuckin hatin tha game cuz i'll neva take back wha I had...I keep myself smilin by puttin tha cherry chapstick on an rememberin the tha night. I like keepin those happy memories (so no take backs about LA!) Fuck, if Christian hadn't done wha he did...this night woulda been less wha it was! But sabes que hue??? I'm fuckin strong and will deal with what i gotta deal with, y por que? Por Pendejos! ,-P OralE HuE!