The old me's dead n gone....dead n gone

I lost that fight, but not that war I still see my nicca walkin out tha door. Don't turn ur head walk away, I'll be back up on my feet some day. Play with my emotions? My nicca that's trife. Go on get the hell on walk out my life! Ooooo I've been waitin for this day soo long. Findin out where we belong. Never knew YOU could be so wrong....now the old me's dead n gone...dead n gone.

Aight I'm gonna blog about this and then move forward. I took myself off of facebook cause I did not know how to address my feelings towards this guy I liked. I figured if I ignored him on here he wouldn't pop up in my profile thus not havin me think about him. But damn you new facebook (ummm yeah I'm still considerin it new) ur stoopid HIGHLIGHTS section should reflect who I ignore.

I don't like not having control over my emotions. I felt like I was a stalker or obsessed so I was like fuck this i'll close my page down and will deal with this situation. When I'm calm cool and collective. So around midnight I get a text from him and I may have had a drink or 6 (but who counts?). So after we were both like ok...love you on SMS I was like go for it. So I owned that I liked him more than a friend and that I think he knows that and like to know if he wanted somethin more or just leave things where they are at.

What could be worse than hearing no? Not hearing a GAWD DAYUM MOTHERFUCKIN THING AT ALL. Now one of my bois who has a real good head on his shoulders said that a week is not long enuf, you probably scared him...think of what he's goin through and how you'd feel. Let him process this. I understand that, but to not have contact or say let's talk later. I mean fuck...anything is better than nothing. A polite No would've been better. But nada. So after day 3 I was crushed that someone I felt so close to as a friend would just let me slip like that, especially him knowing how sensitive I am towards my feelings. (and if u're reading this, you know it)

So I picked myself up...dusted my shoulders, burned a candle and cut my hair. Whatever we had just wasn't their. One day I will learn the value and loyalty of being a friend. I find the masochist approach I have damaging yet not discomforting since I grew up with little to no friends. I'm not gonna say it feels good to cut people out of my life. Toss them aside like rubbish. It doesn't....but I'm done and most likely won't look back. So now it's out there.

On another note my facebook family I have cut off all notifications on here. So don't you feel ignored if I don't get back at you right away. My work loves making me work and we all know how that fuckin excites princess! NOT! Fairy tells shouldn't have 7-4 jobs. lol! It's going ok...i like the team that I got. I couldn't freakin make it in that place without Kristina (seriously! she took a sick day and I was ready to throw the towel in). Ooooh it's raining...*iLuv hearin the rain tap on the roof*. I got a new Dining Room set! Last night Cam, Gary and I went to a furniture store before watchin the proposal (Sandra bullock and Betty White...need i say more???). Walked into a 30% off sale and asked them if the cortona table and chairs were on sale. She said yes. OMG Princess! Put ur AMEX away!!! Show some fuckin discipline! 12months interest free you say??? "Tucks AMEX back in wallet"...let's see what we can work out. So my birthday present to me is my brand new dining room set. Yaaaay! Delivery is next friday. Can't wait!!!!=) *smooches all**

Halloween Weekend

...you know iWoke up on Friday...my favorite holiday! Halloween! Were you get to dress up, be who you wanna be without the fear of being judged! iLuv Halloween! It was my favorite holiday growing up (cuz I gotta get the candy! It was all about that sugar rush!!!). This year I didn't feel like dressing up and wasn't going to. I was stumped...I missed my buddies in Kuwait and was thinkin about the past Halloweens and the good times that were had =)

I miss Princess, LuLu, Will, Kristy, and Company. iDo! I miss them a lot. So how often do I get Halloween on Fridays? Exactly! Anyways I had costumes rolling through my head...Stewie! I wanna be a Stewie! Well no good...where am I gonna find red overalls? I could just go to a costume store and pick out something lame....Eck! No good....so my friend Christina left her BDUs at my place and the magic (spark) came....HOLY FUCKBALLS! I was a gay soldier for four years!!!! Four fuckin years! It was time to rock the BDUs, DIRTY STYLE!

So I sported the new "Army of One" look, and since I'm not that humble I'll own it....I WAS FUCKIN HAUTE! ~:-P (...silly!) So for dinner I met up with Tuffie, Gary and Damon at Sticky Rice and wore my attire. Apparently this soldier was making a pig out of himself (*oink oink*) and shoved everything that wasn't bolted to the damn table in his mouth (again, oink oink!). Gary if you read my blogs, Domo Arigato for dinner babes! ^_^
I wanted to hit TOWN up that night and see peeps up in there costume. Tuff n Gary had a campin trip so they didn't make it leavin me ~s0Lo~. This limited my drinks but fuck it, I can have good times. So I met up with a couple of buddies and saw some hot costumes. My favorite costume there was PATSY!!! iLuv AB FAB! (BBC). Patsy & Edwena! OMG! If I find me a Patsy next year, I will drag...I will fuckin go as Edwina if someone goes as Patsy. I'm owning it (guys, this will be your ONLY opportunity to see me drag. Thats it! Nothing against drags, but its just not my style). So anyways I had an awesome halloween and made it back safely.

The next day, I went to Stafford to finally hang with my dad on his boat. Well it wasn't undocked, it smelled of gas and iDon't like boats anyways so getting on there and hopping right off I told him OK...I went on the damn boat. Done! So I hung out for a couple hours then saw my best friends chris and tiff. We were cravin mexican food...more so the chips n salsa. CHILI's! HooooooOOOOO! So we ate, it was delicious and then headed back to belvoir.

I met up with my amigos frank & brooks. We had another halloween party. Did not do the gay soldier costume again cuz ummmm yeah...belvoir might be like, WTF!??! So had tons to drink (Patron, Patron, Patron!) and met some new peeps to hang out with (MegHan! Luv Yahzz!)
Some drama happened that night, but that's not for me to post, I just hope they find the body (kidding). Hope everyone else had a kickass weekend! w00t w00t!

weekend madness

we need longer weekends! Why were these issues not brought up in the debates. So thursday night was cool...ordered 2 10" topping loaded pizzas from dominos...ate one for dinner and to top that offi didn't workout (Bad bad dirty!) cuz Antron was gonna go out to Apex n i said i'd meet him up there. So I saw him and sum buddies of Cameron out there. For the record, I don't care for Apex...I'll go but egh! not so much my style. The company there was cool tho. Inhaled the second pizza on the ride home and slept well.

So Friday comes along and the weather is aight. So round afternoon time my cousin n I headed out to Great Falls and did a cool 6mile nature hike. It was awesome...Pocahontas like (Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?). Beautiful trails and trees! Spectacular views...its always great to get away from it all and just sort of sit back, breathe in the crisp air and take in all of nature. I don't draw but I could totally see myself out there sketching what I see. So after the hikin trip we craved food. Mmmmmm......MMMcDonAllllLLllLLLd's! yes yes, so McFatty had himself 6 nuggets fries n a coke (shut up! It was diet!). That night I avoided DC n headed up to Belvoir to hang with good friends.

How many freakin shots of rum did I have? Psssssh! We killed 1.75ltr so yeah, no clue! Had the freakin munchies, ate a slice of cheese pizza...mucho chips n salsa and whatever else wasn't fuckin bolted to the table. So oh yeah...if ur doin the math: 2 pizzas, McDonalds, Belvoir Buffet...these do NOT equal a 6mile hike! So hello 10mile sunday! I was gonna do 12, but we'lll see what happens.

Saturday was kewl. I spent the afternoon with Cameron and Gary eating brunch and then shooting pool. It was fun....lots of tequilla makes for an interesting game! We saw Erica there and we ended up stayin till the end of her shift! w0w! LOL! FreakIn w0w! So went back to my place to do some more cleanin...had a kick ass nap and then prepped for dinner. Rob and I were gonna meet Gary, Cam and his friends/socials up at Thai Chef. The food and company was phenominal! I met my future would be wife in another universe, Teresa (HUGS n Kisses BABE!)...Rachel who OMG has lost so much weight she's even more gorgeous!...I also saw Natasha there, but she bolted out early so I was like "It was awesome seein u, see ya in another 6 mos"...tee hee! So the night was taking us to Buffalo Billards but yeah..umm not so much!

The bouncer checkin IDs wouldn't let Teresa in cuz she had an expired ID. Ummm....fuckin lame! So we went next door to this bar playin good music n got smashed there. It was an awesome night....some good pics that I can't wait for my new fruit fly to post!! wooooo hoooo!

Sunday went home and initated a Lucy pumpkin. Mom did her Snoopy pumpkin today and it turned out awesome

so yeah the weekend was cool....I'm at work now. Cancelled my myspace account (Fuck you Tom for all your sponsors that feed on people's personal lives...luv yah facebooK!). Aight I gotta go stretch...10miles! LETS DO IT!!!!!