MAyO & Relish

Aight...I swear this to be my last blog on the subject...then I, you...people who search this shit on google can move on with life! So where to start...Aight, lets go with mayo! I know I know...I keep saying I find it and then *poof* some ingredient always messes me over. Trader Joe's

Well I had taken a pic wit my camera but that didn't come out to well which sucks cause I wanted to write out the ingredients, but it's egg & dairy free...and 35cals p/tbsp.

It doesn't taste bad, doesn't have any of those HFCS, xantham gum. I'm staring at my blurry image but I don't see sugar in their, but if there is I'll update this blog!

So yeah, this MAYO is 100% officially Dirty Approved *STAMP*

Now...onto relish! Ok, after going to enough whole food, trader joe's and grocery stores I had to research Y o Y do we need xantham gum in Relish??? Ok, so here's the thing...Xantham Gum is used as a corn syrup and the reason you see it in relish that is packaged is because the compound (xantham gum) is used to keep the relish together (not all soggy when you buy it). That's what I got out of reading this chemical book. So, give into the relish or do what they did in the gay 90s *(1890s). That's right...pre-wal*mart! (breathe people...breathe!). HOMEMADE! So I saw a lot of receipes online that swore I was making enough relish to feed the homeless in america! Then I found the selfish one...the one for me! Qwik, Short n Sweet!

1 cup diced dill pickles
1/4 cup hot mustard (or sweet mustard)
1 tablespoon pickle juice
1 tablespoon fresh dill, chopped

Mix all this stuff together and put it in a jar. Too easy, right? I'm definitely all over this! Now here's the "pickle" you may run into...Finding the right pickle that is just pickles in Dill Juice (Ok Vlasic, don't screw this up!!). I can't wait to chop all this up and give it a try. If it's as good as the relish in the stores, my hunt for condiments is over! Aight I'm glad I'm done blogging about this!

Have you tried Xanthan Gum yet? OMG! Its the latest Corn Syrup!

...so yeah Ok, I got the Hellman's light dressing and was like FINALLY! A mayo with no high fructose corn syrup! Just sugar...and xanthan gum. Huh...well at least we have sugar in lieu of HFCS! So a few weeks ago I replaced my relish because it had HFCS. So I got a no sugar added one and oddly enough it too had Xanthan Gum. Ok, if I see it enough...im gonna look the fucker up! (Mike, tomorrow you are going to Whole Foods or Trader Joes...I'm through with this GIANT/Safeway bullshit!)

So GAWD bless wiki & TheFitShack...I got all my questions answered and tossed the fuckin relish in the trash. Ugh! Well since I've given up drinking I'll probably have some extra cash to spare. Yes yes, i'm done drinking. NEXT BLOG!