w00t! THat'S my puzzle piece!

I tell you I think I mentioned it before but when I came out to my friends and family I felt shattered....puzzle pieces that took me 27 years to build shattered. And the feeling of freedom was upon me. I felt liberated having that weight lifted off my shoulders...and in time I found pieces that once built the person I was. I also added pieces with this new image. And overtime had to replace. My biggest obstacle in life is no mystery. Love. This is not another sappy *whoa is missing i'm missing this one thing*....I freaking am! BUT that's a whole nutha blog.

So over time some pieces that I was missing I found again. One piece that I lost for a long time was this nonchalant feeling towards people I didn't know. For some weird bizarre reason I had cared about what others were thinking about me!!! What foul rubbish! I think it was Marlon and my cruel nature going back and forth one day that got me to say: FUCK YOU! And it felt great! I had found this missing piece of doing me and dismissing someone else. I glued that sucker back to me, embraced it *welcome back! how i've missed you sooooo* and moved forward.

This new piece I found (and it excites me like finding lost money for others! It's a missing piece! It's MY missing pience! I love finding lost pieces) opened my eyes to the gay scene. What the hell am I doing here? This isn't me!!!! Yes, I love my friends and have a blast with them but this totally isn't me!
I smiled because I know what I like....I like ta hike, run, hit the gym, go see a movie, chill at home with my pooch, sing in the car (horribly..I don't care), toss back vodka at a house party with friends....but this whole gay scene and the monotony of hitting: TOWN, NELLIES, COBALTS is like totally BLAH! Let's go rock climbing! Let's run Burke Lake.

So yeah, pride weekend I wouldn't trade it for any money cause I can make money and money and money. I'm never pressed for cash..can always take care of me and do me. But finding a piece of me...something that had gone missing was found and brought to life! It's something you can't pay a therapist to find. Ur blinded on this journey and hit a lot of walls. But when you stand on this puzzle piece or star dust that you know is you it just excites the HELL OUTTA me!

This is mine! I know this piece! I've known it for 27years!!! You were lost! I'm so glad I found you!!! So the piece is back in my system and although I'm euphoric about it, I continue to search for the unknown yet again.

I know it's a little soon to find another piece, but maybe I can find one when I hit Hawaii! You never now....and on that note: 4 more days :-D