DirTyS JibBer JaBbeR....

At firestone waiting on my ride

2012-01-29T17:18:00.001-05:00

So while I'm her waiting on my car I reflect on life and why not blog it. What is going on? Well the gig is still going. Got a lil work to do tonight but yea no biggie and can do. Pay is good. I'll miss it when I gotta find something ta hold my TS. House is coming together good. Kitchen is freaking exhausting! Taking on a lot of work. Remodeling the kitchen, and doing the laundry room. It ain't easy but we doin it n doin it well. I'll be sooo happy to see a finished product. My fam came by this weekend to help me out and man was I sooo grateful to have that!!!!!

Went out to DC. Hadn't seen the guys in a while. It was pretty cool. Lil superficial but all in all good times. Hey how's it goin? Wow you look great. Blah blah blah. Got a lil shit from not showing my mug but that was one cat. I think back in my earlier 20s and appreciate the house parties we had where we could play games and BBQ. How cool was that. DMV is definitely its own beast. Everyone is always busy doing something and no one has the time to hang out. I'm such a west coast guy but look at me and my refinance. Guess I'm not moving anytime soon. Lol! I refi'd yet again and man Im glad I get to skip a payment! That will help go to the expensive house projects of 2012! Bathrooms or fence next year. Yay. Ok let me check on this car :)

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CaliForNia <3'n

2012-01-12T22:37:00.001-05:00

I'm in the air right now and can't wait to breathe in Cali!!! No allergies! U know ur getting old when u get excited bout shit like breathing! I mean hell 12-15 years ago it was Disneyland or 6 flags. Not fuckin breathing. Wah oooopie!

My cousin had her lil girl Maggie. I'll see them tomorrow. Gotta hit Babys R Us up before I see them. Grab a gift card. So fortunate to have a great job to be able to do that.

My kitchen!!!! I ordered the cabinets today! Put half down now. Once I get the date, I'll have give the granite guys a clue. Old cabinets go downstairs and I got a wet bar. I'll throw a party and think it'll be kickass.

So Cali, not letting Marlon know imma be there sense last time he ran off to Sacramento or something skippin town on me. Whatever. He don't count for shit. So glad others took his spotlight of love. I can see myself in others. Man do I feel bad for the people who gotta fight that battlefield of love. WTF was I in love with him? I mean this ni99a makes maintaining a friendship hard. If he doesn't wanna be friends I say man up, cause shit that's where I'm at. And I ain't got no problems cuttin a ni99a *snip snip*. Had ta throw that out there. Can't wait to be back, breathe (unfortunately work, blah) and enjoy myself.

Happy new year u!!!

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Week 4

2012-01-06T08:21:00.001-05:00

Well well well. Maybe I'm feeling a lil bigger. Can't wait to get cut!

Leg day today and my cousin Chris arrives tonight. Would make today a chest workout and do legs tomorrow that way id b good for chest again on Monday. We'll see

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Happy New Year

2012-01-01T02:24:00.001-05:00

Celebrated the new year at times square with Matt and with the exception of the ending it was great. Im writing right now at 2 cuz everytime this guy gets drunk he wants something more from me that I can't give and craves me affection/attention.

So he held a convo for about an hour that I got to listen to then icing on the cake smokes not once but twice in a room. And yea he knows how I luv sleeping in an ash tray. I'm done. Ridicules that I hafta put up wit shit like this! Unbelievable. This is just a false start 2012 cuz 11 was such an awesome year that I will see it thru to 12 :)

Adios to the negative drama tho

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Location:Wild Ave,,United States

Week 3 @ 160!

2011-12-26T18:55:00.001-05:00

Losing my abs and hopefully gaining a chest. I put the fat boy pants on cuz I feel my handles r growing. My trainer says it muscles contrasting in diff areas but I'd think I know what fat feels like. Anyways starting week three. Results so far:

< lost my cut :( >

Chest looks ok..abs???

I will incorporate ab workouts at home since this is something that cannot be lost. Gotta remember, February is when I start my running. Stay focused dirty!!!!

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Ending week two

2011-12-22T13:05:00.002-05:00

Well I think my chest is getting a lil bigger....hopefully next week my trainer focuses more on that. He's obsessed with shoulders, lower back and legs. Says we need to build on that to get a bigger chest. I should prolly hit my cousin Christopher up since we're both doin this. My gut feels outta shape, I already can't wait to start running again. I wanna hit 20miles a week to lose this belly!

I want to back off on calories but need to make sure my weight is over 160 now. I gotta get to 175.

Office life is boring but I'm getting paid. We didn't have any holiday parties. I'm sure Plan B did and Accenture as well but nothing for the three of us....Oh well, keep the paycheck coming in ontime.

Anyways Happy Holidays all :-)

Need a new ProTeiN shake, lilke STAT!

2011-12-20T14:40:00.003-05:00

I'm over the muscle milk.....I'm done with it! My taste buds keep shoutin NEXXXXXXT at me. So I got like over 5lbs that I can't just throw up on CL for free, since the bags r open. What a waste, I'll offer them to my family and if not, toss'm and move on.

I want an ultra super delicious low in sugar strawberry shake. That is the flavor de jour! I like the taste of adding soy milk with it so will keep a gallon or costco size container of that at work.

Work isn't too bad....I'm a little bored and feel I fall short in convos sometimes because of all the big brains around here. So shut up, look pretty and get paid? Done. Done and Done!

I had a blast these past couple weeks with my sister coming over to visit. She's in TX now, holidays will be spent with my best friends and NYE and NYC. Yea imma do this crowd bit one time and get the damn 2012 glasses too! Should be hella fun! Hope I can enjoy some good champagne come 12am :)

Wonder if I can find some crazy gay group out there....I'd say they must have good champagne, but I'm actually shocked at the knowledge straight guys have on champagne compared to my gaymigos who luv adding mixers to the delicious; cooks, andre, korbel (top), barefoot, etc that we have amongst us.

*snob n a 1/2* I know, i know....Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy Festivus and a good new year all around

Week one done

2011-12-17T10:07:00.001-05:00

So week one was a little rough. My trainer saw where I was at and what I could handle. We did chest, back, shoulder and legs. He had me do a leg day on Friday. Monday I gotta fly solo on chest. I would like to find a good shaker for my pre workout shakes, a delicious protein powder and and band that I can use to stretch. I feel a lil blobby with the lack of cardio. Did 25mins on stairclimbers and only burned 200cals with about 2miles in climbing. Blah

I'll post pics prolly Monday to compare. Already know at 8week mark im gonna tear cardio up and guzzle lots of protein to maintain muscle! w00t!

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Pix

2011-12-13T23:52:00.002-05:00

Ok so I've had my trainer two days. Kickass sessions and it's only gonna get better! Using MyFitnessPal to keep track of diet and crossing fingers I find me a better protein powder (sorry muscle milk, losing interest fast!)

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Has it really been a whole month?

2011-11-30T14:47:00.002-05:00

Let's Dish!

I got a plan...I wanna bulk up! So I'm gonna break bread at XsPorT and get me a trainer for 10 sessions. I will post pics like now!

Tough Mudder, Wintergreen Resort, VA - 23OCT2011

2011-10-24T10:59:00.005-04:00

T
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H

M
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2011

What a day! Got up at 530am Sunday Morning to go through 20 obstacles in 10miles on a ski resort! Total Kah-raziness! Right now my head is like dazed from low sleep (got hungry during the night), meds from cold and really not wanting to be at work today.

Ok so the first obstacle was the Braveheart charge following a nice hill...I was gasping for air! Can u believe the incline a ski slope has? Yeaaa...trying going up and down those slopes...Up slopes, through some spiderman nets, over these berlin walls, hustlin through the funky monkey bars (wanna drop? Have some ice water followed by body shock! Oh yesss I did), Up the muddy slopes, twinkle toe ur way through the logs lake, go through more nets, walls, hills, low craws, log jamming and a fun mystery obstacle where they are hosing you down (and no silly, no garden hose hahaha - sumbody call 911) and go through a 180 drop on a foggy slide not knowing what the hell or where the hell ur goin! The rest was more miles, running going through a pit of fire and lastly electroshock therapy. They give you a well deserved dos equixs (prolly spelt wrong) at the end or opt for those protein shakes *nom nom nom*

Will I do it again, being a tough mudder for life and achin this morning...Yes! I will join the crazy white folk again and do that! But not at a ski resort! Hellz to the nah! The one in Tampa sounds fun though :)

In a blogging mood

2011-10-01T14:00:00.002-04:00

Hey all,

Things are going well but I'm feeling a lil blue (maybe cuz im bored) and felt like writing. The end of the FY came, and only a few folks are moving forward to FY12. I'm glad to be one of them and am excited to work with the new guys and see how we can move forward with projects.

The news that I was selected was euphoric and was exited to share the news with my loved ones (on earth and above), plus Marlon (since no one to go home to and hug). I think that happy news stunted my lil victory. Shit! Hate it when that happens! Like having kool-aid with splenda (no sugar). So I'm writing and whining and cryin about the beautiful life I have that almost anyone would love. I feel like such a bitch, cuz it's like I have to find ways to bring myself down. What exciting news and hears my inner feelings. Woooooow....c'mon! I went to the gym twice yesterday ta try n shake this vibe. I'm gonna hit starbucks up, grab a mocha (I'm desparate lol) and see my besties out in Gainesville...if that don't do it I will hafta locate my passport n hit the road! CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE!

Anyways that's the latest n greatest...i'll get it together, i just felt like writing it out and not taking it out on anybody but the people who choose ta read it *hehe* ~ chus!

Pack yo shyt n go!

2011-09-20T13:24:00.002-04:00

So there it is....I cleaned out my desk! I have been looking for jobs on the outside but my pay will have to take a hit (dammit!). What I'm gonna do now is have a wrap-up with all my sites for FY11 this Thursday. Friday I get to watch the series or season finale of DLA

FUN FUN FUN!

wow it's been a min blog!

2011-09-19T13:15:00.002-04:00

Ok so last post i forgot to edit what was going through my mind but the weekend of N'arlins was great! I feel in luv with the "hand grenade" drinks and had a blast in what I call Lil Amsterdam.

5* hotel for $100 p/night was great. The song I posted cause I was def having one of those days...and if you don't follow my blogs listen to the 3min song n get caught up ^_^

....PRESENT DaY....

Hola Blog! Ok so a lot has been going down in the work arena....will contracts be extended? Big presentation I prepped for a week to present went down the tube :0( MERDE! I mean, ZUIT!
..what else? I hired some air duct cleaners to clean my vents and they found mold in the furnace. Yay! $600 to them....There went my weekend funds....My pseudo wife stayed for a few days and left this weekend. Had my boy Matt over and we spent a good couple days together.

Anything else new? Im still looking for a property to own outright and rent...IT AIN'T EASY! Weather has turned to fall (YES!!!!).
Lil Daniel ran his first 5miles with me! Wow! a 10y/o running 5miles! I never did that!! Was real proud of him and told him ten years from now my ass will be attempting to keep up with him. Hopefully he remembers how nice Uncle Mike was to keep at his pace ^_^
William turned 8 this weekend. Time seems to fly!

Ok Reese is doing well, I'm ready for work to end since I got nothing hot on my plate anymore (@)_(@) Ta-tA

Big Easy Weekend - Soldier knows

2011-09-05T15:39:00.002-04:00

The big easy weekend was great

Pre-Big Easy weekend

2011-08-25T09:23:00.001-04:00

So two weeks before the Big-Easy weekend I decided to have a very very lax weekend at home. My friend Matt from Westminster (Matty) was gonna come hang Fri-Mon. So Thursday night decided to get a lil crunk early....Fantastic!

Friday night was Matts Bday party (sidenote: Need to pickup that punchbowl). We all had a blast at Behn's place and then took it over to Town for some drags, go-go boys and dancing. Matty met me up there after work. We had fun and then Saturday came...early Saturday came. Went to see mom & dad. Made an awesome Soyrizo receipe (emailed it to Marlon who recently told me he is on the vegan path), grilled with my besties then hit a houseparty up. Sunday had a Top Chef 30th bday party to attend. Sooooo freakin coooooooool! OooOOw! Had a blast with Abs n the ladies :)

Monday was Kings Dominion. So the four of us Matt, Matty, Myself and Maurice....oh wait, scratch that last guy off. Maurice flaked out cause I guess Sunday night he was told he had to be in court on Monday. o_0....Yes, lemme this is my shocked face. How many times does someone hafta cry wolf? No sweat, I was a lil sad for Matt though, but we all three had a blast switchin off. No line waits....superawesome!!!!!

This weekend will definitely be low-key and chill...next weekend I hope to have cash on hand (will probably dip a lil in my tax fund...don't want to touch the savings).

~ c!a0

A truckload of money for free!

2011-08-11T12:45:00.004-04:00

My scandalous mind is always thinking, how can I protect my money? And it hit me! I live next to the Salvation Army! According to the IRS I can donate 30% of my AGI and submit charitable contributions...(see below)

Limits on the Charitable Contribution Deduction
Your charitable contribution tax deduction may be limited. There are limits specific to charitable contributions, and there are general limits on itemized deductions.

50%, 30%, and 20% Limits on Charitable Contributions

* Generally, you can deduct cash contributions in full up to 50% of your adjusted gross income.

* Generally, you can deduct property contributions in full up to 30% of your adjusted gross income.

* Generally, you can deduct contributions of appreciated capital gains assets in full up to 20% of your adjusted gross income.

Charitable contributions in excess of these limits can be carried over to the following tax year. The excess contributions can be carried over for a maximum of five years.

Ok ok so clearly we're not giving away our shit! So who's shit are we contributing?? Give away the FREE STUFF! w00t w00t! People give away couches, pianos, desks, chairs, everything! So let's say you make 100k a year..if you got a beater truck, you can on your weekends acquire 30k worth of stuff to deduct. Not sure how that will look on taxes, but if I get me a beater truck, keep track of the gas and expenses...I'll let you know how this benefits my taxes!

Too bad it's not tax credits hehehe, but think this could be the way to stick it to the government, and help out your fellow mankind. Sooooo what's the drawback? Well if you start making heavy donations, expect to get audited by the IRS. If in the past you haven't been legit, they will pickup on it. DO NOT LOSE ANY RECEIPTS!!! Get yourself an organizer. Do by month, then year! Keep all receipts for 10years. If you can get a digital sender, I would scan those puppies in.

Any thoughts? I'm really curious how much I would pay....oh! Hello Mr. Link :-)
KnowLedge is POWER

Fairfax Pride @ V5

2011-08-11T09:40:00.002-04:00

So yeah last night ended up going to Velocity Five and seeing my sis's best friend, kick ass GM - Abby! It was good catchin up with her, haven't seen her since March I guess! Wow! She's having a bday party on the 21st and I'm sooo freaking there.

Met a personal trainer that works out at xsport so I'm gonna train with him $30 p/session....I can go for 3 sessions a week or stager 3/2/3/2. There's $300 in his pocket and four weeks of training for me...Not a bad deal! :-)

I'll work on my V downstairs and up. What else what else...oh new fav shot:

St Jermaine & Patron ~ deFocKinLicious!

And we're back

2011-08-10T15:41:00.003-04:00

*TA DA*

Got over that lil hump...everyone needs ta be strong and then emerge. Weekend was pretty cool, spent it with my boi Matt at home, town, rising of the apes and then crime and punishment museum. We're lookin at playing hookie from work and hittin kings dominion up on the 22nd (excited about that) and maybe, maybe if things develop further in Jan hit Las Vegas (Circus Circus) up for a couple weekends.

We both def playin it slow and I'm glad that he see's the side I like people to look at. So that's whats carrying on in the friends department...will try not to let it explode or consume me and keep focus on work and Reese.

My pooooooor lil baby has a bump on her head ;,,-(. It's gone down a lil but if I may end up taking her to the docs on the 18th of Aug if it gets worse. Her insurance will kick in then....I'm thinkin I can use my HSA account since it is a medical expense. We'll see what uncle sam says I guess LOL! Her monthly premiums are coming from that account!

Anything else on my mind...Lost my "+" with my "buzz". Hardly anyone on the google social site, and my interests have dwindled down. I def don't see this as a facebook takeover.

What else what else what else...Oh! Studying for my GCIH to get IAT III certified! What the hell does that mean? ummm....duh! Get more cash!! Blang Bling bitches!

PinG chInG poW!

Ugh....get through this hump!

2011-08-03T07:58:00.002-04:00

Seems the lonely got in my system....ususally happens during holidays. Blah! Must overcome this hump....but at least my soul has good taste in music! :)

Budgeting uck! (and other stuff on my mind)

2011-07-31T12:39:00.002-04:00

So with all the liberties I took at 29, I need to build back up the 'ol savings. You would think avoiding the DC/bar scene for a minute would help but I find myself keeping busy in other area which isn't a bad thing but I need my savings built back up! Especially since I'm in the market for real estate!

I've looked at a couple repos to fix up and rent out...nothing that struck gold at me. My goal is to have an investment property pay my mortgage or at least a good deal of it. I'll have to pay taxes and condo/hoa fees. No biggie! So I'm on the prowl for properties. Fairfax county is my prime target...Arlington condo fees are redic (right next to the county of Alexnadria). The government may take away mortgage interest tax breaks. That would suck but we all gotta sacrafice from the debt we've accumulated. So I can sacrafice. That's the big thing right now, finding a place to rent out. I'm not regretting giving up Harker Heights (luv'd lil Robin Ln) but I don't want 4 -$495 tenants...true when one leaves ur @ 75% rental but I'd like to deal with an all or none right now. There is money to be made by flipping properties. May be able to do that. We'll see...I gotta make sure my income doesn't exceed 200k a year otherwise I'm screwed! LOL!

So I got my budget plan set with all my expenses and allowances. I should be able to save a good portion by the end of the year. If I meet my goal, then I have to reward myself :-) Something over $500 but under $1000. A small getaway...new clothes, or maybe a new phone! We'll have to see...probably a trip. I have more than what I need right now. My new little laptop is just perfect! A pretty penny but I don't see it being replaced for QUITE SOME TIME! Of course my 3GS phone is just beggin to be put to use as an iPod touch as it is lagging when running multiple apps. Guess I shouldn't rule out the iPad (hehehe...hey! It's a reward! I may not make it! It's a tough goal!

I may go with the latest droid phone if they have a great library for MP3s. I've heard the battery life on the droids tho le suck! If that's the case I might as well keep suckin Steve Jobs left nut. I'll have to do more reviews...I'm not keen on apple double-billing me for music if I delete and re-add a song (that's krazy!). I've also yet to upgrade my OS to the latest cloud technology. WHAT RUBBISH! Let me wirelessly sync my songs to my PC! Not to your database! Curse you Steve Jobs! Do what I ask or I'll get Zuckerberg to build a thin blue FSmart phone that'll make ur GUI interface look like 1999!

So there goes my budget and house hunting stuff...I may go look at cars later (I'm just fascinated by the 650i, but not ready to replace my lil Z). My dad is stuck in Gainesville with my mom showing an open house. My best friend's biggest mistake! UGH! Whatever! The kids are going from the public education of NoVA to Mississippi. I really feel bad for them, but hey when they're grown-up they can make bad choices too. If I could I would keep their daughter at my place since she EXCELS at school and will be bored out of her mind in doing classes there. She'd also get a lesson on the real world living with me. The boys don't really care about school (neither did I) so they'll be ok down there. I just don't want their girl turning into a Mississippi girl waiting to find prince charming to take care of them. A lot of ladies go this route, not just from MS. If there is one person in life you can count on, it's you! PERIOD! No one else has to love you or give a damn about you. Earn ur keep in life. I'm so glad to have the friends that I have in life. The majority are pretty much self sufficient. Everyone has their rough patches in life. Some obstacles seem hard to overcome. Everything in one day and one piece.

Mentally i feel like I'm over the hump on accepting and loving myself wholey. I think the climax came days before, while and after Hawaii. I've always told myself to stop, breathe and look at what hand you dealt yourself. I was hearing but not listening to what I had said. I don't feel alone when I come home. Reese and I go out (unless it's real hot/cold), have dinner and watch something on the tube. I have my friends come over to watch TV or go out and do things. What else...I got a new roast recipe I'm trying out...No help from Campbells this time! If it comes out fabulous, i'll spill it out manana.

Happy Sunday people!

Weekend Update

2011-07-25T09:13:00.002-04:00

What a weekend...Put a bid on a property (all cash! first time ever!!!), went to a kickass lake party and hung out with a pretty cool guy.

Ok so the property is located in Alexandria near Ft. Belvoir...Looks to need between 8-10k worth of repairs and can rent for $1350-1450 p/mo! State tax & Condo fees would bleed me about $450 p/mo so this could be a worth while investment! I'll know more by tomorrow so if BAC accepts my bid you guys will know shortly and I'll have a project! w00000hooo!!!

My orthotics also came in this weekend! I was walking around to break them in...Might hafta do a few miles (for testing purposes ^_^) real excited to run in them! May treat myself to new shoes this pay period *oooooowhhhhhhhhhhh*...I know, the small things in life.

Lake party me and my buddy Matt went over there and had a good time. Our whole DC Gang was there, no drama...played volleyball and got soaked in the sun & water. Tommy's house was sooo beautiful along with their lake which both were built by his rock star parents who are so down to Earth, they're just real good people! Afterwards I hung out with Matt's people and it was a real eye opener...The houses that my mom and dad fixed is what this family lived in. Being poor is what it is, but cleanliness and pride is something that you have inside. They just don't care how they live and what a shame. I came home BLESSED and truly appreciate all the stuff. I can't express how grateful I am to myself and how life is turning out!

This wednesday I will pass on the gym and see the last Potter movie which I started the series last weekend...those buggers are so addicting! I'm glad I wasn't hooked ten years ago! I would've been anxiously waiting for these movies and calling people muggles!

I'm really glad that 30 is turning out to be such a great thing. I feel more secure about myself and that's most definitely a welcome feeling I'd like to stay. Ta-Tah

Idiocrisy in America continues

2011-07-21T09:06:00.002-04:00

Ok so everyone has pet peeves and it turns out I have friends/acquaintances that say this MINDLESS blabber: "The book was way better than the movie".

Since Harry Potter came out do you have any idea how many times I've heard this? Does this statement sound clever??? Does it?? When do you EVER recall reading something which the movie topped it?

It's almost as stupid as hearing a convo like this:

Mike: Do you speak French?
Moron: Well I understand more than I speak...
Mike: Really? So do babies

So people please, before you blurt out something that you think makes you sound smart - Step outside the box, listen to what you're about to say then go on and say it...trust me, i'd rather you be a pretty face and keep your mind an enigma rather than announce retardation. Grrrrr!

This blog is soooooo politically incorrect! Happy Thursday!

Fool me once, shame on me...what is this now; 5

2011-07-20T02:46:00.001-04:00

I want to start off with: I hold grudges but that such a 20s thing to do. I release negativity rather than hold it prisoner in my life. The most recent emotional tick I popped has been in my life primarily because we hang out with the same group of friends.

I hate being ignored. Hate it. The last straw broke and before I turned 30 I knew this was one thing I was ready to leave behind. What I didn't count on was the number of times we would bump in to each other and that I didn't harbor neg energy. I actually still cared for him, I just wanted to be acquaintances so that I could excuse him of the friendship duties.

Well he called yesterday and apologized about the whole situation. He thinks I actually broke off a friendship because of a couple slips. I counted and it was more than a couple. The thing is, when u crush on someone that is suppose to be a friend those r the easiest ones to setup for failure. I really wouldn't care if an acquaintance was a no show. Wouldn't bother me because they're not a friend.

So on with accepting the apology and for the ease of being in our group, make this guy an acquaintance. The ease about that is that we can be buds in the group. As long as we don't have "us" time I'm good with it. If he flakes out from a group function it's cool because it's a group thing and not a me/you situation.

So this is fine. Won't tangle my heart in that direction. I'm 30. Ain't got time for neg drama. This is a good step so that things aren't awkward for the both of us. Although because it's a step lower that where we use to be, it's better than having to use energy to ignore one another.

And that's that!

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How ta save a life

2011-07-11T11:12:00.003-04:00

My best friends of 11 years are moving from the NoVA area to Biloxi, MS. They have family members that aren't in good health and they feel it is the right move. I love them to death! I really do and I hold my tongue when I see the squander money on the kids at Christmas or even going organic if you can't afford it. I grew up with dual working parents that would always put money away and whatever we had left we would enjoy life with. I can really appreciate how I was raised and the morals I have right now.

So, having sick family is not easy. You want to be there for them and help out as much as possible. When do you draw the line though and take care of yourself and your family? The kids have a fantastic public education that they won't be able to maintain in MS. The husband has phenomenal job opportunities here, that certainly aren't present at the gulf. I've never wanted to scream out to Tiffany: "STOP HOLDING YOUR FAMILY BACK", because at the end of the day, you can't save everyone. There are a lot of winners and losers in life. Everything we do in life is a choice. You make good choices, you reap the rewards that come with those choices and vice versa. I know my buddy well enough to know that the only thing he wants in life is to make his wife happy. I mean what can I do? Ask that they see a therapist and see if this is the right decision? I'll pay for it!!!! An outside party in my belief needs to show them: HEY! WAKE UP! Find a different way! Don't make your family spiral downward.

It's def not an easy decision to make. There's the guilt of living in VA and knowing that your family needs help, and then there's moving to MS and dealing your family a hardship. I'm gonna stay out of it. They've always been family to me and maybe that's why hearing this hurts sooo much! At the end of the day, it is what it is. Michael has to focus on Michael. They didn't ask my opinion about what they should do, so why should I concern myself? Chris will do his remaining time in VA and then the fam will come back or more likely he will go down to MS and live their lives. I really hope the kids make it out of MS.

I want them to reach high! Super high! I really hope that they make their own mark in life which would make their parents (and myself) really proud. I had to vent this off my chest before my interview. I needed it to be written and said. Now that I got that off my mind, I won't have to lash out at them. If they ask what I think, I'll tell them they should run it by a therapist and see what advice comes out of it. I'd be interested to hear what an unbiased person would think. A family therapist would be best. One FUCKING DECISION could mark the downfall of their life! Or it could be the best move they make! I'd be interested in hearing the outcome of what a family therapist would suggest. Perhaps they're living beyond their means and need a 200,000 house. I don't know. I do know that life has thrown them lemons and what you do with those lemons determines your future. School of hard knocks...hopefully they won't go through that by making a poor choice.

New leaf...or new shell

2011-07-08T13:26:00.004-04:00

I've stated before that somethings in my 20s I would carry over to my now 30s decade and somethings would be left behind. I had something that crept in the door that I hadn't dealt with. The emotional tick that I had popped with Maurice.

Well I decided that I didn't like the way my friend Cameron had dropped me via e-mail. I think it's easier than calling and didn't would MUCH MUCH rather have wrote what was on my mind then go blank (i tend to do that) but because there was a history of friendship I picked up the phone, had the convo and then shot the last alibi messages via text. I gave him the last words which essentially were being disappointed does make you a bitch, leaving a friendship does.

Fair enough, paint me bitch and move it on....NEXT! For the record, I harbor no negative feelings for him. The decision to break off this friendship if anything benefits him and myself. Neither party will feel obligated to make plans with each other. If I see him with the group I will still be polite, laugh and have fun. It will be just with the group though. Maybe I should have stated it like that...Being an acquaintance in my book trumps friendship...It's like the free app! No obligation to pay and you use with a group of people. This is excellent for those who have other things going on in life and I don't take offense to it! Seriously! I got my solid friends where we make time for each other because we want too, and I got the friends that we just meet up in a group. Nothing wrong there.

So the color for the 30s house I painted was light blue. No time for negativity. I'm still painting the walls so we'll let all that marinade in...The red light room had some dim bulbs in there...so I replaced the bulbs, got a new mattress. This room had some rules where we would only allow special people in. I'm having safe fun. No longer in search of the one. Dating good people too. This is an area that I'm happy to see get attention. Ok I really wanna blog about something that is hot on my mind so...*POST*

CODE RED!!! CODE RED!!!

2011-07-05T12:24:00.002-04:00

Ok so yeah ummm get back from Hawaii, go to work and found out I went from a green status to red. Whhhhaaaaa....Thheeeeee....Fuuuuuuck??? The client can't move forward with the plan of action until the provider we are working with gives us the quote they promised while back.

So in the meantime I'm gonna hafta work on other projects and not touch anything for what...another year? I'm tired and tired and tired and tired and tired and TIRED of writing documentation.

I'm not tired of getting paid tho, so smile and STFU and collect ur check

~woo0000oo sAaaaaaah~

Opening doors

2011-07-02T01:28:00.001-04:00

Sometimes you gotta try something out before you can say you don't like it. Food, jobs, where you live, sex, friends, cars, etc...I've had the beliefs of saving yourself for someone special.
I've not had random sex (up until Hawaii) and after Hawaii thought..huh...as long as I'm safe, why can't I have fun while I'm waiting for mister right to come?

Who says what's right and what's wrong? My conscious which was fabricated from what? My upbringing? My ethics? From what I've seen with my mother and father of 32 years? This is nonsense. Y have sex so taboo? If it's fun and ur safe have fun! Until I find the right guy to settle with THAT will be my course of action. Hawaii was a blast in that sense and guess what??? VA will be too!

If I re-read this later on and have a change of heart or met the guy who took me away from FWB I will be the happiest guy on earth. Till then, open your eyes dirty! It's ok! I give you permission :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

30-Dome

2011-06-29T08:19:00.001-04:00

Got a txt message from that emotional tick I popped. Decided not to answer it and move forward. Guess just cause I turned a new key to a new decade it doesnt negate the fact that I still have ta do my time ta move forward and keep eyes straight ahead.

No forgiveness offered. No apologies necessary. Burned that niccas bridge. No grudges held against him. No room for emotional prisoners here. I had a great trip in Hawaii. Hooked up wit a guy off of Grindr. Felt great ta just leave VA morales in VA..have fun!

Really wouldn't mind doin me in VA after this awesome weekend. We'll see what's good. Imma be happy tho. That's one thing I will try to work on. Happiness and not the misery that I choose to surround my life now and then. This Hawaii trip opened my eyes to a lot of things. I'm 30!!! I'm gonna live it up and do me!

In the plane now, will post this later. Good lookin 30 y/o guy wit a house, two rides and an awesome dog. Y not have huh? What's stopping me? Sure as HELLLL ain't roommates! Lol! It was me!!!! Aloha Michael :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

The BIG 30

2011-06-27T15:02:00.001-04:00

Wow. My trophy birthday of 27 finally got replaced! This vacation and celebration has just been awesome. Well I've said it for 6months but now it's legit. I'm 30! This is awesome! I'm no longer in my 20s! Just like that!

Well I'm real happy to be with my family and have awesome friends that have wished me well...I got this empty path ahead of me to which I bring memories and some old business.

My 20s set me up with this great life I have and now I gotta see what I can do in this decade ta gift wrap to the next one. All in good time tho! Miss you Mammie! I know you'd have been the first to call and sing to me on the phone:

....and many mooooooore! :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Less than 24hours

2011-06-20T09:49:00.003-04:00

Ahhhhh less than 24 hours till I fly to Hawaii and less than one week till I hit the DirTy 30!
I'm pretty excited about going to Hawaii...extending my youth for 6 more hours (yay time travel) and seeing my sis and good friends! I think after work I may get some new running shoes to run around the island! I'm just super stoked to get away from work for a week, take some holiday and of course turn 30!

I use to think that I had this fear of age...I was 21 with 5, 6, 7, 8 years experience for the longest time...but when I look around my house, see my lil pup and where I am in life it gives me this smile...This 20 something year old molded this decade for the new 30 decade. I see myself saying: Hey here are the keys to this body/life....I got all this for you; Don't fuck it up!

Circumstances in life for different individuals vary. I really wanted to have a family, kids, house and the dog by now....turns out that you not all things in life happen at the speed you want them to happen. I didn't want to be gay, but had to own who I am and move forward. I really wanted the kids, but I really don't like babies. Puppies grow up quickly...Babies OMG! For-E-Ver!

I'll leave the brats for my sis to pop out...hopefully she does that on the island and I can get to know them after the pamper/crying phase. If I were to have kids, I'd def adopt. Age 5 and up! I couldn't have a girl because I see how attached I am to Reese. When Reese cries at the dog park my hearts hits the floor! I couldn't imagine having a daughter do that to me! I think with a boy it'd be easier...and then once he's 12 it'll be my childhood all over again with theme parks n stuff!!!! YAASSSS!

Aside from family, love will be something that my 30year old soul will need to challenge. I've given some baby steps to this area, so this should be interesting. I know *PRIDE* is a huge factor / obstacle that stands in my way. Second would come patience and third would probably be jealousy.

The rest of my temple I feel great about! 30! YASSSS! I told my sis about 5-6 months ago I was ready for 30. I see me getting out of this limo, on a red carpet and seeing people and events of my life waving at me as I enter this big steel, black glass door with the big handles 3 | 0...and I open the door and all I see is darkness & fog. I'm not inside yet...there will be no light until I enter the doors. It's gonna be great! Like exploring a new world. No one's been here yet! This is my discovery. And I get to bring my memories, and life with me. SOoooo cool! I even dressed up for the event! Black/white suit! Classy!

Cheers to the life on the island and turning 30! I'm ready! And can't wait to explore! :-)

w00t! THat'S my puzzle piece!

2011-06-17T13:02:00.007-04:00

I tell you I think I mentioned it before but when I came out to my friends and family I felt shattered....puzzle pieces that took me 27 years to build shattered. And the feeling of freedom was upon me. I felt liberated having that weight lifted off my shoulders...and in time I found pieces that once built the person I was. I also added pieces with this new image. And overtime had to replace. My biggest obstacle in life is no mystery. Love. This is not another sappy *whoa is missing i'm missing this one thing*....I freaking am! BUT that's a whole nutha blog.

So over time some pieces that I was missing I found again. One piece that I lost for a long time was this nonchalant feeling towards people I didn't know. For some weird bizarre reason I had cared about what others were thinking about me!!! What foul rubbish! I think it was Marlon and my cruel nature going back and forth one day that got me to say: FUCK YOU! And it felt great! I had found this missing piece of doing me and dismissing someone else. I glued that sucker back to me, embraced it *welcome back! how i've missed you sooooo* and moved forward.

This new piece I found (and it excites me like finding lost money for others! It's a missing piece! It's MY missing pience! I love finding lost pieces) opened my eyes to the gay scene. What the hell am I doing here? This isn't me!!!! Yes, I love my friends and have a blast with them but this totally isn't me!
I smiled because I know what I like....I like ta hike, run, hit the gym, go see a movie, chill at home with my pooch, sing in the car (horribly..I don't care), toss back vodka at a house party with friends....but this whole gay scene and the monotony of hitting: TOWN, NELLIES, COBALTS is like totally BLAH! Let's go rock climbing! Let's run Burke Lake.

So yeah, pride weekend I wouldn't trade it for any money cause I can make money and money and money. I'm never pressed for cash..can always take care of me and do me. But finding a piece of me...something that had gone missing was found and brought to life! It's something you can't pay a therapist to find. Ur blinded on this journey and hit a lot of walls. But when you stand on this puzzle piece or star dust that you know is you it just excites the HELL OUTTA me!

This is mine! I know this piece! I've known it for 27years!!! You were lost! I'm so glad I found you!!! So the piece is back in my system and although I'm euphoric about it, I continue to search for the unknown yet again.

I know it's a little soon to find another piece, but maybe I can find one when I hit Hawaii! You never now....and on that note: 4 more days :-D

Here I am, once again

2011-06-12T23:16:00.001-04:00

Not torn into pieces but had an emotional tick I needed ta pop. Bled a lil from the wound but imma be aight tomorrow.

Yeah I kept my hopes sprung on a bad boy. I'll learn one day. Hopes always remain high lol.

He use ta be a friend. He wanted to step it up. Unfortunately his empty promises lead to the demise of our friendship.

The last chance I gave him at having a regular friendship, one where we could just be cordial he declined and wanted another shot of being there for me. Failed. Not shocking but fuck him. Done.

Blocked outta my life and now I got me a new outlook. I'm gonna join sum running clubs and hike. I'm gonna live my life and not let setbacks take me down :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I wanna blog something so bad

2011-06-02T09:18:00.002-04:00

But choose not too. A lot of things in personal life I can post on the web. I don't mind sharing my wins and losses in life. But this is something that can affect my personal life outcome.

I do want to share it and re-read it so that I learn from it. A handful of people know what I am talking about. I can honestly say that I HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON! And NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER again will I put my personal life, family or career in this path again.

This is something that everyone does without thinking about, but only when they get caught is it right in their face. It's surreal. It's happening...and it's happening because you choose to let it happen.

When you roll the dice so many times never hitting snake eyes you feel as if you beat the system. Thinking of it right now I can still justify that I wasn't in a familiar area. It's ridiculous how my mind can counter-argue something as serious of this nature.

Well I won't ever post what it was, only few will know. Just know that: IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN!

Rehoboth Bound

2011-05-26T13:50:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow yes tomorrow I'm taking off & hitting the beach.

List of things to do:
Gym
Tan
Laundry
Spend time with Reese
Drop Reese off at friends place

I got me the same crummy room like last time, but whatevs as long as the roaches don't bother me, i'll tip'm a lil vodka *_^

Taking the lil Z out tomorrow so she will need her wheels clean :)

Hope everyone is doing well and sorry for not keeping this better up2date ~ mUah!

oooo and officially, I'M ALMOST 30! Hell all my body parts are technically 30 now! Oooo no! Not gonna have that when does life start crap! LOL! BYE

Find strength in yourself, Not others

2011-05-16T14:26:00.005-04:00

I got some disappointing news about an hour ago, but before I discuss that I want to go over my history...a recipe for what I define as success.

suc·cess [suh k-ses] - noun
1. The favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors.
2. The attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.
3. A successful performance or achievement: The play was an instant success.

When I was 19 I was comfortable living at home and making a decent salary of $16. I was paying for my car, insurance and gas. My medical was handled by my company since I was over 18 and couldn't use my dad's insurance.

~*LiFe was gooood*~ I had grown comfortable...

My mom said the four letter word which crushed my fantasy! It threw a curb ball in the way I was living! R - E - N - T.

Suddenly a cloud of darkness fell over my all too good to be true life! I felt robbed! Cheated! Violated! How dare you ask me to pay for something I've had for free this whole time!!

Now my mom only wanted this money to put in a separate account so that when I moved they would use that money and add a couple more bucks to the account for a down payment somewhere.

This whole gray cloud put something else in front of my face. It was a grown up decision. I, a man at 19 didn't save for tomorrow (I wasn't in debt - no college) and didn't know how to escape the house. VA is $$$ and I didn't want my parents help.

So with nothing in the bank I saw the Army as a way to keep on my career path of IT, get me out of the house and a roof over my head. So I traded a full-time $16 hr gig, to play soldier for what...? 12k a year? Oh that first pay check was an eye opener! But so long as I was fed and had a little cash I could make it. I saved what I could in the army...I had close to four years in and about 10k in my account. I made it to the rank of a specialist. I got demoted to an E-1 at the 3 1/2 year mark. I had wrote a lease with a guy I was working with (to make extra cash) in property management on a duplex my parents owned. Because the army declared the signature forged (nevermind the fact that I was actually living in the bloody duplex) they came to the assumption that I was attempting to defraud the government. PS: Sgt Crystal Blake, MSG Annette Rodriguez, MAJ Michael Baker - GO FUCK YOURSELF!

I then spiraled down to an E-1 and had one song on my mind: Nelly - Number One! I didn't care at that point. Soon after disrespecting enough NCOs: Boooyah! Deuces! Adios! I got chaptered out under unsatisfactory performance (General under honorable conditions). Lost my GI Bill, but got our honorably...That's fine! I hate school anyway!

Soon after I was at another fork in the road. What to do what to do. I'm now Mr. Sanchez.
Well in my field because I hate school I need to get certified. So I did that. Took a boot camp, passed and got my paper MCSE.

Resume looked good with that on there. ITT Sytems Corp would "GIVE" me a job in Kuwait because of that and get my security clearance (something the Army failed to do). So I took the contract (not having any systems experience ever! Bypassing the help desk) and then became a sponge. When I got to Kuwait, Exchange 2003 was being installed. There were issues, so when I came on board I was finding ways to fix it. Got the servers stable and they became mine!

I worked intimately with AD and Exchange and had a great lead/mentor to ensure I was doing well (Thanks Kevin Ford and George Currie). I stayed in the desert 2 1/2 years and then came to DC with good money in my pocket.

I got a job at the State Dept (not making desert bucks) but specializing in Exchange Administration. Soon after went to the Pentagon as their Exchange Engineer and am now an Exchange Architect.

So with that said, this brings me to the title: Find strength in yourself, not others. In the US you can start with NOTHING, NOT HAVE A COLLEGE DEGREE, focus on continuing education and sell yourself. Continuing education is like a car warranty! Would you buy the car with or without a warranty? That's how employers will see you too! When you interview, that piece of paper represents you...YOUR career before you get a foot in the door! And when you get your foot in the door, speak about what you know and sell yourself. If you don't think you're good enough, neither will they.

My career was not luck or fate, it was me reaching. And without the use of formal education I will continue to reach as high as I can go. This is a recipe I know all too well how to make and shall excel until I reach the point of retirement.

Now in the beginning I mention I got some news earlier. My Sr. Chief Architect put in his notice today. This marks the contract where half of the staff has left on their own accord. Their is also questions circling about the strength of the contract and low expectations about renewal.

I will analyze the situation, update my resume and allow upper management to divvy out some reassurance. If you know of someone who is lost, give them this recipe. Have them enlist, or obtain a position that covers your living and food arrangements. Save up a little cash, invest in yourself and over time you too will see from the ladder where you were at and where you are going. It's an awesome feeling that NO ONE can take away.

Cheers to my Aunt who did it at 44! She's an inspiration! She didn't like being a social worker, wanted to get into IT and did it! She studied and obtained a help desk position in Afghanistan to collect some years and bullets in her resume. I'm sooo proud of her!

Another one bites the dust

2011-05-13T12:33:00.002-04:00

So the fourth person here has put notice in to leave. Man! I've never seen people drop from a project like this! One PM and three AD guys...Somethings up!

I'm not leaving! I'll milk this cow till the tits are dry n empty!

So that's been the big topic of this week. I'm thinking also for this year that I need a new cert. The gov't is requiring people who want to be enterprise administrators to meet certain requirements (DoD 8570). I also need some hands experience with windows 2008.

CinCo de MaYo

2011-05-06T08:40:00.002-04:00

What can I say? Having my family and best friends (family) in the area whether we are in SFO or DCA, that's all just geography! We had a blast celebrating my mom's bday at La Sandia in tysons corner. Screw Patron! These guys had over 100 tequilas! OMG! Heaven heaven heaven! So yea imma do a small run today then tomorrow got my 7miler.

Daddy's gotta try n tighten up! No luck with finding my LCD TV/Wall mount (im waiting on a deal) but am hopeful. Anyway back to Mom, she loved her kindle that Jackie and I got her.

Was a really great bday (even though we missed Jackie) she was txt'n and living through us vicariously that night. Hope everyone had a great cinco de mayo and TGIF!

TGIF!

2011-04-29T09:12:00.003-04:00

Weekend in T-minus 6 hours...

So I had plans this weekend that fell through and I wanted to post how irritated I get when things don't work out but I gotta step outside and see the positive.

1.) My friends were courtious to give me a heads up with notice and not on the spot
2.) An alternate plan was offered

I like that! That shows effort! So rather than bitch n moan, I'm gonna smile and enjoy what little work I have to do today.

Yesterday I got a referral check from GD, so I'll have to let the ladies over there know I got paid and if they need further assistance to give me a shout! Too bad ITT Systems doesn't really do this! I'd flood them with teckies lookin ta make a quick buck ^_^

Paid off the AMEX which was consumed ALL by Nina & LoLita. OMG! These bitches can not only guzzle gas, but they luv their mechanics too! Well GD handled that I and I took my family out to Spartans with the remaining bucks I had left. Whee!

Went out with Mateen & Steve for drinks n good times. Had a blast at cobalt. Saw this dood with the BIGGEST ASS, LIKE OMG! Put my baby to shame! I think I deflated a bit lol! And then Steve in his wisdom said I bet tits to a straight man is like ass to a gay man. Wow! That shit was profound. U know, I still like the twins up north but def like the cakes down south too! Prolly a lil more I guess...they just excite me, and I never really knew that when I came out. I thought it was all bout the cock. Not sooo much. So we wanted to feel it...he's so damn shy! I got my hands on it three times. W0w! Fuckin wanted to bounce dimes off that mutha!

Didn't get ultra plastered, made it to work and am sippin on coffee. Still need to find a 24-32 LCD TV with mount for under $250. We'll see what's good...Happy Friday!

Shame on you Google!

2011-04-19T11:55:00.004-04:00

SHAAaaaaaaame on you GOOGLE!!!

Soooo guess who got a fraud 256GiggyPiggy?!? Yesssss! Moi! Fuck you HongKong! May ur economy collapse you fraudulent a-holes! Soooo the drive has issues saving stuff. No worries, you get what you pay for. I'm reporting him and his site to paypal which hopefully will work with Google as this was a google ad.

Dammmit Jim! The only hot-deals we need to focus on are from reputable sellers. $70 lesson...really cheap in the big picture of life (and don't i know it!)

Friday! w00t!

2011-04-15T21:32:00.002-04:00

Well not w00t right now but that'll change. Hit like an 0-2 for plans this evenin and that bummed me out...got my mind in a misery state so I thought hmmmm how did we get ourselves out of this predicament last time?? 2 big ass 1.75ml of belvedere and some fags tell me that my mind will get back into the groove of things : - )

Sooo right now I'm waiting on Mateen then heading out to Nel's. Lolita is in the shop gettin her mark that some ASSSSHOLE gave her at the dog park fixed. Tuesday I should have her back and YES i luv Nina but ain't tryin ta rack an assload of miles on her...she needs a break too!

Aight ladies n gents have a good weekend, TGIF!

Weekend

2011-04-05T08:45:00.002-04:00

This weekend was pretty cool...nothing spectacular but all in all good times.

Friday night - After getting my tan on I wanted to hit TOWN up and see the drag show. Caught Lena, said hi and then saw some buddies up in there. TOWN was cool n all but we decided to take our asses to Cobalts for good times. That was fun. Went with matt and his buddy eric. Eric was cute (for a white boy dorky way), pretty tall and had an appreciation for grey goose (Yesssss!).

Went shirtless and was asked if someone could take a body shot off me. If this happened all the time I probably wouldn't mention it but since this is like the first time, it definitely boosted the ego. Simmer down peeps, I declined but thanked them for the compliment. Had four drinks that night which meant the next day had four miles right next to my name.

Saturday - Woke up, had my coffee, played with the pooch and OFF I went to see the USAA Financial center in Pentagon Row. WE FINALLY GOT A LOCAL BRANCH! WHEEEEEE!
The inside looked pretty decent, and I was real happy to see a branch outside of San Antonio, TX :-)...After that I picked Reese up and we went to my BFFs in Gainesville to eat this BOMB ass makes you wanna sleep Mexican food and Hannah's school play, AnnieJr. Was soooo exhausted I passed out in my bed with the TV on.

Sunday - Had family breakfast (ooooh! fresh blueberry muffins!) and, got a frame for my bowflex poster, planted a bush (environmental freak here! Hahaha! NOT!) in my yard and then waited on Isabel for some D-Lishous Indian food and Animation Sunday. We had a blast and OMG she's never seen Drawn Together before!!!! Yay! It's soooo on! w00t!

Hope everyone else had an AbFab weekend ~ This upcoming weekend I'm going SHOPPING for some new polos and chill khakis! Also on the agenda is a lil AC that doesn't drip! Oh and my Z4! Tee hee!

Interesting...Calling all recruits! Doodle-iT!

2011-04-01T09:38:00.007-04:00

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Lu, Desi <desilu@doodle-it.com>
Date: Fri, Apr 01, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Subject: EXCELLENT & EXCITING OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU!
To: mike.sanchez2@gmail.com

Hi Michael,

I hope this e-mail finds you well. We have several exciting opportunities that we are looking to staff here at Doodle-iT! Our company has been in business for six years, owned and operated by SBA in New York, NY. Currently our company is expanding in five major metropolitan areas. The office in Fairfax, VA is looking for users with Google Apps, Microsoft SharePoint, Microsoft Windows Server 2008 and Microsoft Exchange 2010/Lotus Notes. A heavy knowledge in Google Apps and Microsoft SharePoint is critical to replicate the efforts driven in our HQ locations.

Doodle-iT is a subsidiary company to Google.com. The focus of Doodle-iT is a mixture of patenting and engineering around the world. Currently the Doodle-iT tool online interface allows for MS Visio, Adobe DesignerPro, and Apple iMadeIt+ designs along with photos to upload under a page you design. Draft designs saved/uploaded are compared to the designs of others in Doodlepedia. Doodlepedia is the database that stores all designs and allows you to choose a draft or final state. In a final state, the design can undergo the patent process by DoodLaw or a local state lawyer.

Doodlepedia will match your design(s) with other designs worldwide to ensure patents are not being infringed or locate a similar draft design which allows you to Twoodle. Draft patents are what connect engineers! Draft patents stay up on Doodlepedia and engineers can Twoodle ideas and designs to get to a patent state. Doodle-iT was also awarded in 2010 Top Ingenuity design by Google co-founder John Aubrey.

Enough history! Are you ready to take the next step to work for an exciting company? Show us that you are ready to get out of your mundane state and start a rewarding career in the field of online patenting! Looking forward to hearing back from you.

V/r,
Desi Lu
desilu@doodle-it.com
Doodle-iT
623 E. 68th Street, New York, NY 10065
917-806-1212
~ Got an idea? We got your solution

Body update

2011-03-31T19:58:00.001-04:00

Meh I'm not impressed from a couple weeks. I gained a pound and it's getting hard to maintain the lean fit. Losing the weight was tough but now I'm trying to keep up the protein and weights along with cardio.

I did catch a lil tan :-) yay. Maybe this is cause I started drinking again. So how much more cardio do I need to do if I'm gonna hit the goose/belvedere on weekends?

Gotta go update another blog. I apologized to Darrell (swallows pride). But that ends that chapter the right way. Annnnnnd we're moving forward now :-)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Vegan Rant

2011-03-31T13:46:00.004-04:00

Where o where do I put the Mr. Yuck sticker on this bugger?? Ok well it's not that bad but for a meal that has 580mg of sodium (over 20% of your recommended intake) I expect some freaking flavor!

I was trying to find something that would mimic the AWESOME Sunflower Restaurant which makes that ooooo so yummy General Tso's Surprise (yes! see below!)

Yuuuummmmy! Ok so this one doesn't compare and in it's defense probably has a SIGNIFICANT amount less sodium the Tso's. They sell these packages at Whole Foods for $3.99, it's not the worst thing you can buy but TRUST! It will NOT go back in my basket or belly.

Picture day tomorrow! I'm nervous! I weighed in early...156. Gained a pound. DAMNIT!!! We'll call it muscle weight *_^

Monday monday...(update Tuesday)

2011-03-29T09:58:00.000-04:00

Blah! As much as I don't wanna be at work right now, I'd rather be here than at home sulking. This is not a "winning" moment. Monday started out at 6. I was wide awake. Got up around 645 and left the house a lil after 730 to take my car for an estimate and get VW to fix a recall. Made it back to work right before nine.

That. So what was suppose to be "Free" VW ended up finding my front axle on the wheel was torn. Replace now and it's a $240 fix, it breaks then later on $700-$800 fix. FIIIIIiiiine. Fix it!

I'm also looking to get a few hundred bucks back from a fix I had to the safety harness. That recall should get me some money back.

In other news the guy with the Z4 called me back to decline my offer. He doesn't want $14500, $14700...he wants the $15,000. Fine! Go to Carmax! I want someone who will come down a little. I went down to 2% off what he was asking....Really? Come on! VA is gonna rape me the 5% value of the car! So he got a polite kiss my ass and I'll keep my eyes open for the black z4, grey interior, navi with the black top. No biggie....or alpine white! I'll get my baby! This is my last "Do it in my 20s" thing I will have. A lil fun toy for MIkey!

Lolita, my jetta is NOT going anywhere! She is my baby that I will take care of.

Tuesday started off bumpy not wanting to get outta bed into the 26 degree weather, but I made it in and now got an assload (*giggity*) of work to do. Oh! One more thing. GRINDR -- I think something happened to their servers cause a guy that looks just like Darrell is on their, but age younger (he wishes lol), tanner (yum), same height as me (but he's taller) and mixed. Drove me crazy! I wanted to IM just to see if it was him or a fake. If it is him, shame on him for not owning that age of 32! ;-P

Ugh...not the remedy

2011-03-24T23:12:00.006-04:00

What an EeeeMotional week! I swear! And these fuckers above didn't help me out! Oh noooo! You wanna know who the real heroes were?

Yessssssssssss for some weird reason the feeling of calmness and rationale set in....ahhhh! Cheers Chelsea. This whooooole week threw me off guard. My emotional being gets hit hard on the holidays and valentines...so here we are spring time, lookin good, thought I was feeling great and the loneliness bug hit me hard. I dealt, dealt and dealt with it and finally out came the chocolate!

WTF ladies? How is this a cure???? Vodka is the answer (add a fag for ur pleasure).
Soooooooooo new rules! I'm done! Guys who I have or had feelings for: WE CAN'T BE FRIENDS cuz in the back of MY head I'm gonna want more. So snip snip and Adios.

Thinking about my best friend Chris whom I have no sexual attraction to I have decided to open the gates and do activities that I like doing and hopefully meet some cool chaps that way. Not sure how to handle the sexual needs but I'm thinking I'm smart enough to figure that out.

I like ta workout, drink, do IT stuff (mostly for work now), talk money and how to make more, hike in decent weather, eat at new places and go exploring. There's me in a sentence.

I'll update progress on how things go here and hopefully some cool pics too!

TGIF!

...and i guess i'll run 4miles for the above :-P

All done with meds

2011-03-22T08:24:00.003-04:00

Finally! Yesterday marked the end of drugs (amoxicillan and bioxain). Fuck sinus infections! Glad this one is gone, but I think that I've developed allergies since living here. I'm not sure the clariton is working up to snuff so I may just try benadryl or some other OTC meds.

Yay...I feel old now talkin bout meds n shyt. Ok so far the weight loss is coming along fine as you can see. I'm back on my protein shakes now that I can stomach them again :)
So aside from getting better this weekend Friday night was a complete fail. I was suppose to watch someone perform at TOWN and missed out on that, and then when I saw a group of my buds there one of them was acting fu-tarded and trying to be all touchy over my face with me (FAIL) and then my buddy Matt thought it'd be cool ta just but his hands in his pants n grab my face (MEGAFail) and then use the big boi voice trying ta front askin what I was gonna do about this.
Alcohol makes brave assholes out of all of us I get. Imma address him when I see him at the gym. So yeah, fail for Friday.

Saturday was cool, hung out with my best friends (well minus one who I think is in Libya now) and played games. Family nights....my kind of nights :-) Sooooo glad I have them here.
Sunday was pretty chill too...I met up with a friend of mine who was BBQ'n. He celebratin his big 3-0 this Friday! SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS!

I gotta ease into alcohol and make sure it doesn't effect my run time. Friday I was out of breath from Burke Lake (i'll blame that on sinuses ^_^) and yesterday I knocked out 6miles on the treadmill adding hills too!

All these fun things yet I can't figure out the cure for loneliness. Wish it was like before I was gay, when I felt more comfortable with myself but I guess getting to know the new me hasta take some time...hopefully not too long. I don't mind being alone physically...I just hate it mentally! Good to come home to Reese tho :-) my lil princess!

Body Update

2011-03-16T22:04:00.001-04:00

Well even though I've been sick and extended my goal of March 30th to April 15th I will still provide updates today on where I'm at. I lost between 10-12 pounds and am working to keep my protein up to maintain my build. Ok enuf yip yap here are the new pix

I'll hafta go back to the last blog with pix and see if I can tell the difference. Thx for the comments and support. Night world.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

No family Sunday! :-|

2011-03-06T10:51:00.002-05:00

What a weekend! From getting really tore up Friday, to not being able to hold food all day Saturday until 1130pm (Thank you Dominos!) to no family breakfast (wow!) I feel like I was at New Orleans this weekend with all the sweat n shame.

So the weather sucks due to rain. No running around the lake for me :-(....If I weren't so torn up yesterday I would've ran it in 60 degree weather. Oh well though, maybe I can try and treadmill it.

My best friends birthday is tomorrow :-) Yay! 32 years old...I outta rub in his face how great it is to be 29 ^_^. I got him a real cool bday gift this year. There's a speed racing NASCAR type thing in Manassas and I figured it'd be a guys day out sorta thing. Real cool, hope he likes it!

Even though I was sick Saturday I updated my weight to reflect what the scale had to say. Total rubbish in my opinion! I wish I was really 155! But if the scale is correct I'm now at 11% body fat...2% more to go! I'm guessing i'll hafta be under 150 t0 make this "dream" happen.

Happy Sunday all!

think i need a new scale

2011-03-05T14:38:00.002-05:00

Got sick this morning from too much alcohol last night. I really do feel like shit which sucks cuz the weather feels great outside. Im not drinkin for a while now...this feels awful!

On the plus side after throwing up all fluids in my body i weighed in at 155! LOL! I think me needs a new scale!

Adios 150s?

2011-03-04T18:48:00.002-05:00

I hope not! Well last week I was ecstatic about weighing in at 159!!! I was so proud to finally see the 150s after sooooo long! I kept up with my diet (minus one slice of pizza with co-workers), been exercise, lifting and so forth and decided to get a preview for Saturdays weight...158? 157 maybe?
160.7...hell lets say! 161!
.....*******....****FUCKING COW****....*******......

So I think maybe I messed up because I updated my weight on this app and probably should've left it at 167. Well either way I was a little disappointed to see that number. Also I think I need to call the VA office up on Monday and schedule another appointment to get new inserts. My legs are hurting a little (Quads a lot) and shins a little. Perhaps because I ran often in the 1012 the 1011 series aren't working as well for me. Well either way new inserts need to be ordered like STAT and I need to pickup the running pace. Did my 7.25 lake run in 65 minutes...WTF??? Where did my under 60minute run time go?? DAMN YOU HOODIE SEASON!

Ok so tomorrow I will track my weight...it saddens me that I will see my graph go up instead of down. Hopefully the body fat won't hurt me too much. How the hell does that stupid ass machine know I'm 12%??? I mean yea I can sorta *imagine* where it's at but dammit I got 26 days to get rid of what I'm afraid will now be 3%+ bodyfat! Ugh!

Ok...puttin the fat chick diva on hold, life is hectic in the career field. Been working my ass off Jeff! My ass off for these DLA clowns to only get told that my project is basically on hold until the army is done. FUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK ME SIDEWAYS! R u fuckin for real? What the hell are you gonna pay me to do? And why I am I wasting the time of others if you're not gonna give Daddy what he wants? So before I bend over, no lube and take it I will talk with my lead and schedule a meeting with the govt PM.

Ooooh we're sooooo gonna dish! LOL! And if the answer is, Mike shut the fuck up and get paid, then I'll do it dammit. I will cancel all my meetings, collect a check and keep the house paid, okrrrr! I left a little early after hearing said news because I was quite perturbed by said information. I will also need to get with my employers and give them the WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot eye and see if they got something I can do ta keep my exchange skittles up to snuff...Write now I'm a rock st*r in the Desktop Publishing area! That God those positions bank, right? What's that you say? Theeeey don't? Interesting...I guess that's why I wanna be an exchange architect then, huh?

So yeah lil drama at work, but my hours rock and lately my attire at work has been tres casual! So sooo nice! yay! Ok, well it's Friday and tonight I'm breaking the no alcohol rule and paying the bois a visit. Hopefully drama free but whatever goes down "Fuck it, I'm 30! I ain't got time for that BS"

TTFN

Needs a hug

2011-03-02T07:38:00.002-05:00

Had a dream...
...I could smell him
He was so close...
...I could taste him
Holding me in his arms...
...I felt at peace

And then woke up...hugging my active rambunctious teddy bear, Reese now

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Medinah Ln,Alexandria,United States

Je t'adore Mammie!

2011-02-26T06:53:00.003-05:00

2 years later and boy do I still miss you! So today I will do my best to not be a health freak and enjoy the day with you and mom.

If your physical presence was here I'd give you the biggest hug I could imagine and just melt to see your smile one last time.

I'll always treasure the memories we built and know how lucky I was to have a kickass grandmother like you and no other. Avec beaucoup d'amour
~ Michel
xoxo
2 years ago...

Mmmm tilapia!

2011-02-24T19:35:00.001-05:00

Well I just had my amazing 300 cal dinner with less than 220mg of sodium. Tilapia marinated in lime, lemon juice with a splash of balsamic vinegar and crushed ground pepper, mashed cauliflower with ground pepper and steamed broccoli. Dessert later on will be jello. I can feel the tummy disappearing!

Can not wait to show pix March 30th!!!!

Got done with the meeting I have to hold bi-weekly with sites. Man does that suck but I actually did a good job and got people at ease on the phone. I like that :)

So tomorrow I'll work on the minutes of the meeting and shoot it out Monday or Tuesday. Tomorrow should be a real easy day and thank goodness for that :)

Now rest wit the pup till i get me sum jersey shore and it had better be a better episode! Ttfn

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

BodyUpdate: Zantrex-3

2011-02-24T07:13:00.001-05:00

Just started taking this stuff and like phentermine it makes me crave water. I just wish it would make me lose my appetite like phentermine but I can control that on my own. Got the MyFitnessPal app to keep up with my calories, protein, sugar and sodium intake. Shockers in the sodium department..I need more snacks that r veggies I guess. Will update body shots March30th :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Father App I have sinned

2011-02-22T23:28:00.001-05:00

Have a rough day at the office that lead to drinking, partying, prostitution, killing the bitch to only then find out that bitch was ur 1/2 sister? Noooo problem! There's an app for that!

Jesus and the Holy Roman Catholic church knows that not everyone can take an hour (yea suck it baptists! One hour) out of their busy hectic week to go pray and confess. So while ur tweeting, updating ur status, or trying to get 3 stars at that IMpossible level in Angry Birds (o i know!!! It aint easy, is it?) *ahem* isn't it just great ta know that Jesus our lord and savior is only an app away? Has Mohammad caught on to this? Jesus is bankin $1.99 p/user. Now we all know Jesus sucks at money. Omnipotent, all mighty powerful, knows all being but somehow never figured out the money situation. That's where we come in! Ta help out or beloved father with whatever you can spare (or 10%...good solid round number) something tells me tho that this $1.99 app may go up in price and in time have a premium. I'll wait on JesusLite ta come out. It'll prolly only be good for 30days but if I get hit by a bus and hafta see St. Peters I'm gonna flash that app!

He'll prolly be like Oooh u got the!!....wait a sec....is that the Lite version? Shit! God dammit! I mean I swear to the man it was just a trial! Let me in! I wanna see if beemers really do have souls!!!

So anyways if ur a busy catholic that needs ta repent ur sins without the fear of Father Flanigan judging (or if ur under 13) touching you then this app is right up your ally.

Way ta catch up with the times Jesus! And at only $1.99 who can't afford to confess & repent?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Dirtys Casa

Progress report

2011-02-21T00:26:00.002-05:00

Just wanted to do an update on post hoodie season. It's been 3 weeks since I touched the alkie. I'm not a quitter tho, just focused right now at the task at hand. Getting lean. So for those of u who haven't kept up September marked the beautiful hood season where a girl got ta put down the celery (as if) and pick up the fried chicken. I wanted to pack some weight and lift heavy. Got a lil swole in the chest. A pleasant size that I wanna see develop into June. So here we are. Spring in the air, new running shoes and new diet. This time we ain't gonna fail! Hi protein ta keep my muscles, low calorie and a lotta cardio! My lil home gym is a bowflex. I wanted to get a spinner bike but am waiting on a good deal. In the mean time I got running shoes and a gym membership.

I had a blast Saturday at Fit3 (store in tysons). I was scoping out all the hi protein bars but shakes always seem to beat the bars in protein/calories. I'm gettin a lil tired of tuna, not the shakes or edamame thank goodness!

Well I'll update in Mid march BETTER results! Stay tuned :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Old Columbia Pike,Annandale,United States

Caffeine free coke zero you say?

2011-02-18T08:52:00.003-05:00

When oh when will it make it to the US though? According to Wiki (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coca-Cola_Zero) this product was released 2010 in France and Japan. This year the Netherlands picked it up. I know the bloody FDA already has issues with the chemicals inside of Coca-Cola and am not looking forward to seeing them dissect coffee if they care so much about chemicals! In any case I paid some quack to take a look at my eyes because I developed a twitch in my right eye lower lid. The guy gave me an eye exam, retina exam and then told me to stop drinking a lot of caffeine and lower my stress.

Lower my stress? I didn't think my life was that stressful! I don't have guns firing at me...my bills are paid and on time...no bad credit, got a dog at home who luvs to play. Only thing that I can think of about stress would be working out at the gym and obtaining my goal of getting ripped and cut and being single. Isn't the point of life also to have a lil stress?

Well I look forward to trying this out when it makes it to the US and hopefully lowering my caffeine intake :)

Pass on pasta?

2011-02-15T21:02:00.004-05:00

No wonder the atkins diet was so popular! Has anyone taken the time to look at how many calories are in 2oz (1/7th of ur typical box) of pasta? 200 calories! OMG! Call out the Hindenburg cuz this spells disaster! Well I already committed to making my popular dish I whipped out of thin air and it is just the FREAKIN best seafood pasta dish ever! Not salty at all so you can taste the flavors of garlic, tomato, cilantro and tilapia as you enjoy your dish...oh and the sauvigon blanc too! *_^

It's too bad the dish finally got done at 9. I can't eat that much this late but will take a small bowl downstairs and watch TV avec le pooche.

Ok so ingredients for Dirtys Seaside Pasta Dish

Thin/Spaghetti noodles
Diced tomatoes (3 small or 1 can)
Gourmet Garden Garlic Spice Blend
Gourmet Garden Cilantro Blend
Garlic Powder
1 garlic chopped & sauted in butter (separate dish, add last)
Crushed red peppers (2tbsp...up to you)
A good splash of your white wine (sauv blanc here) that you will serve your guests
Basil (crushed)
Italian Seasonings
Oregano
Olive Oil (Splash it)
Tilapia (I marinated in lemon juice, lime juice, splash of balsamic vinegar and crushed black pepper)

Cooked about 2.5lb of Tilapia in microwave for 4.30mins
Boiled pasta in water and olive oil (keeps pasta off the pot when cooked)
Drained pasta
Added 1tbsp of butter to hot pot
Added Pasta
Added the remaining ingredients

Now you'll notice that with all these ingredients I left out salt. You can add salt to this dish but do it a little at a time. Let you guests enjoy the dish...have lots of the wine that's in the dish as they would like a glass or two. The end results; Happy guests, your a success, your boss will promote you and give you his trophy wife while he goes home with number 2 and that my friend isn't a bad deal...unless ur gay! And in that case that bitch better have dirt ta dish with you ;-)

~ DirTy

Calling alll cut gym buffs!

2011-02-15T11:41:00.003-05:00

Determination...Now that hoodie season is gone and I've picked up some weight (and muscle) it's time to shed the FAT (only). I need your help with high protein low cal foods. Do not suggest chicken...for some weird reason I lost my taste for that food. I like chicken flavor things (soups and vegan things) but the texture of chicken I'm tired of.

So here's what I got so far for take with me awesomeness snacks

Muscle Milk light, 150cal, 4gFat/1.5SatFat, 280mgSod, 20gProtein
Edamame (155g/5.47oz) 189c, 8g/1g, 9mg, 17g
Tuna (p/can) 200c, 10g/0g, 450mg, 27g
Thomas Bagel Thins, 110c, 1g/0g, 190mg, 6g

I need to watch out for my sat fat and cholesterol while doing this...Please if you got some low cal, low protein (and not to redic on the sodium) I'd really like ta hear ur advice!

Looking forward to an awesome stunning summer :-)

Lazy Sundays

2011-02-13T19:57:00.002-05:00

I luv weekends. Sunday is def the day to hang wit to hang wit family. We started a Sunday tradition of family breakfast. 3 houses, 5 peeps. It's been pretty cool and the company and convo is always nice. Laid low this weekend. I'm trying to spend more time flying solo. Cut facebook off temporarily. That sucks. I'm really addicted to social apps. I literally had to put my iPhone down and think of something to do while doing laundry. How bizarre. Reese snapped me the hell outta it tho. Did some yard work and of course more laundry. Met up wit Max Saturday. We was suppose to have lunch Friday but he had a case come up. Went to la toltecas off duke. The place doesn't have posole!!! Dammit! So no drunk mornings there x_X. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Jersey Shore

2011-02-11T09:15:00.002-05:00

Last post today! I SWEAR! But OMG did you guys catch Jersey Shore last night? How fuckin crazy was that??? I really wish someone would "care" about me enough to trash my shit like Ronnie did to Sami. I'd be like Carrie muthafuckin Underwood and Nicki Minaj and get my Louisville Slugger! Just ta show the ni99a how much I luv him back!

Honestly that was a hawt episode and now I'm like sooooo tired to be at work. Can't wait to hit the gym, work it out and then head home. What's good this weekend? I'm not sure...no drinky drinky

Getting cut up

2011-02-11T08:55:00.002-05:00

So I've finally decided that I'm happy with my chest and arms. And now it is time to get cut up but keep the mass I'm at. I've been reading articles on how to get this swimmer build. I must not sacrifice protein! I must ingest more to ensure that my body takes away the fat and not the muscle. So here's the plan. Lots of water, no alcohol, lots of protein and mega cardio.

I need to pickup swimming, running (been working at that again), eating healthier *whole foods here I come!* and still doing weight lifting but maintaining my current weights, not exceeding 225 on the bench *POW*. I'm real confident I can find ways to get cut, but I need the motivation.

Standing shirtless with a newspaper in front of me doesn't work. I need a cardio-buddy. I got Matt who I can keep up with at the gym and sometimes we do cardio. Reese will be ready to run outside once it gets warmer. My diet will play a big factor. What should and shouldn't I have for breakfast? Is Reese's Puffs outta the question? How bout an egg, cheese and sausage sandwich? Too much sodium? I think if I could find a nutritionist that could make my food....wait a minute!

Ok just checked out the let's dish website and saw some "OK" things. I need to hit whole foods/trader joes up and see what food I can get. I luv veggies and fish so that's a good thing. Not a big chicken fan anymore...I'll hafta learn to luv pickles since they're calorie free.

If anyone has any fav dishes that are low in cal, sat fat and sodium please dish! TGIF!

It's 2011 Sharepoint...why are we not mobile friendly?

2011-02-11T08:47:00.003-05:00

I'm actually writing this blog in hopes that some super duper oober smart daedal (word of the day yesterday) sharepoint rock star is gonna comment and say: tooo easy! Here's what you do BUT until then here is my issue:

I want my SharePoint calendar to sync up to my iPhone. I get email off my exchange server and Google calendar. I can sync my sharepoint to exchange, but the alerts off the sharepoint calendar to not go to my phone. Is there a way to two-way sync (mirror) my sharepoint calendar to outlook thus taking care of alerts on my exchange server, get google calendar to sync with sharepoint or just plain point my sharepoint calendar to my iphone calendar?

WHY OH WHY IS IT 2011 and this issue not yet addressed? As a geek I'm not thrilled with the search results. One of you developers find me a solution so that I can implement it and appear like a GaWd to my co-workers who have no clue neither. Thank-you...on to the next blog

can not believe its only tuesday

2011-02-08T22:44:00.002-05:00

It's really been a looooong week at work and i want friday to be here now. I'm gonna do some heavy family and me time for a bit. If the dog park is dry I'd really like to take Reese and maybe meet a friend up.

Not a big blog today...just really wish it was Friday. Night world

Find that inner strength

2011-02-06T23:25:00.003-05:00

I love the message conveyed. Find that strength inside you...be the hero.

I think I'm gonna be low key for a min and re-evaluate what's really going on...TTFN

~ Dirty

Personal Rant: May the chips fall where they fall

2011-02-06T03:51:00.004-05:00

To add on to the last blog and of course at 352am (brought to you by Patron & Grey Goose) I've decided to also let go people who do not help me progress in life. On principle I like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. If enough people tell you dog shit tastes like dog shit though you tend to be leery. So I can't help but be attracted to jerks. Well if that's the case then did I not learn a damn thing from the past. This guy hangs with our group of friends and I'm ready to let go and just be left alone for a minute.

This night probably wouldn't have happened had I not had driven my friends and their plus one to town. The plus one is the ex of the guy I messed around with. *RED FLAGS* what happened last time? What did we learn? So after drinks and everything he owns how he and his ex still mess around. Disturbing but not surprising. I'm not sure I believe him entirely but when you got a shitty reputation or that of being a player it's not hard to imagine. I'm not gonna cold blind ignore him but will let him know through a face to face that I gotta let him go and that I hope their is no animosity towards us. It does hurt cuz I got feelings for him, but I love myself much more than to let myself fall for a 3 or 4 when I dealt with a 7 and 8 in love. I will address this tomorrow and then move on towards my 30s. Over it!!!

Done done done.....let me unbind, unleash, relinquish, release....

ahhhh where to jib n jab today

2011-02-05T09:23:00.005-05:00

GOOD MORNING WORLD

It's february and I'm still on the red carpet waving away my 20s. 30s is gonna be all about self-improvement. I've taken the baby steps of owning who I am but there is something I haven't chipped away yet and I'm afraid to let it go.

MY IMAGe
Am I walking down the catwalk in jeans and a no name brand t-shirt or am I walking down in this fabulous outfit brought to you Nordstroms? It's hard to say but when I look back at my pics I didn't care what I wore and part of me thinks *UGH! Fashion victim!* what a mess! And the other part is like....that's real!
So I guess maybe a good thing to do would be compromise. Real friends will like you for being you. Be real with yourself and when you can accept that person you'll find this confidence n swag about you that will attract the right kind of guy who will be into you and not this image you work hard to portray

Single
This part has concerned me for a while. I hafta love myself fully before sharing this guy with someone else. My other issue is wanting what I can't have. Someone who wants to give themselves to me doesn't interest me yet oddly when I see a guy playing hard to get I play the role of throwin myself at them (not hardcore tho...i'm not dense). I'm not the guy that likes to hookup. I would honestly rather have something solid and real in life. I worked my butt off in life and would love nothing more than to have someone that compliments my personality to share it with. I have these male figures who have made impressions on my life and hurt me. And we all know the pain a heart goes through...imagine not having those feelings until you hit 27! I got sooo much catching up and maturing in this area to do. Marlon was the first man I ever intimately loved and had feelings for. I could still picture him as my superman. Darrell took the other piece of my heart and after reading my blogs and seeing how although I was rejected but still kept him for sex I can't blame him for my immature actions. I knew what I wanted, it wasn't available so I set out to hurt him like he hurt me. P!nk describes this situation PERFECTLY!!!

Four days of personnel hell of after saying I LOVE YOU to have nothing...no hug, no communication. Just family there to pick me up. He hurt the hell out of me...more so I hurt myself because I could not come to terms with reality. I've cut guys out of my life no problem...I thought I had lost that part of my personality but Marlon helped me find it when I cut him out of life (update - We talk, we're better friends now that I've accepted the reality of friendship. The feeling is that of a calm lake in a volcano lol! And I feel that the only person that can make this volcano erupt is me, so it takes a little bit of energy to focus on other things in life so that I don't go there). Back to Darrell and how mean and nasty I decided to be...for the pain the TRUE PAIN i went through for four days and missing my birthday I used the powers of manipulation and my mean side to basically bake a FUCK YOU cake. I showed excitement and commitment to being at his promotion ceremony and on the day it happened bailed out on that. That took care of the "not being there" / birthday issue. Last item...my broken heart. I can't break someone's heart who doesn't love me...so when I saw his ex of 10years at TOWN and he told me that I was with his man during the time they were together I had to pause. Here it was...in a pretty box and bow! Do I take the bait? Yes! The last item on the list...befriend the ex and tell him what he wanted to know. The ex used that information and it got back to him (months later but it hit). Dealing with an ex you may or may not have feelings, but dealing with an ex and hearing what you told what you thought was a good friend personal information was enough or as far as I was going to push for a jab at his heart. I made a promise that I would never go after his career and because I made that promise I kept it (and I'm glad I did! Karmas a bitch and I don't want that coming back to me).

Darrell - I've never EVER gone soo far or worked so hard to hurt someone. I now after writing it out and reading how immature, spiteful, vindictive I was feel remorse and am very and truly sorry from the bottom of my now unbroken heart....I'm leaving shit like this behind me...as part of my 20s. I didn't know how to let go..I'm there now. You deserved some of it for being an asshole but I was the bigger and meaner asshole and I need to find a different way to vent. Never in my life did I think I could truly "unlove" or maybe this too is a calm lake in a volcano. But in the end I'm sooo sorry papo and hope that if you can't forgive me that you accept my apology. I promise (and I keep those) that I will NEVER ever hurt you like that again. It's history and will remain that way.

These were the big ones in my life. M & D.

Reese has a piece of my heart now! And she is in a playful mood...time to end this blog, Dirty

Finally got my answer...Winter trumps Summer

2011-01-31T09:48:00.003-05:00

As much as I love getting warm days in winter I've finally got my list of my favorite holidays. Autumn has always been my favorite holiday and one year I'll find a place where it exists longer than two weeks (*gripe*). Spring falls next to Autumn because temperatures fall in the same scope, but less holidays in Spring.
Until now winter/summer were tied because both were miserable seasons (too hot or cold). NOT ANYMORE!

Although I gain weight in the winter *GROSS* I've decided that winter can actually compete with spring and take second place! Well think about it...How many days off do I get in the winter?
Xmas - Off
NYE - Off
MLK - Off
Presidents Day - Off
Snow Days (Telework....Off!)

Summer:
4th of July - Off
Labor day (astrological) - Off

I've never seen OPM give a delay or day off from being too hot. And I get a grim reminder on the 27th that my ass is getting ol...nly YOUNGE ;)
Summer also sucks cause bugs exist. I HATE BUGS!!! BAH! They die in fall and rarely are seen in winter (YESSSSS!!!!!)

Negatives of winter: Weight gain, more prone to get sick (flu season) and quite frankly a sick day is more time off *w00t w00t! I'm onna roll!!!*

So as I bitch about the cold mornings and snow on the road I must remember how I just LOOOOOOOVE having me time!

~ thats all

A clean getaway

2011-01-28T11:18:00.003-05:00

I'm a pretty giving person. I like to help others out and give and like the feeling of generosity. That being said I HATE IT when people take from me. It's a huge pet peeve...and it can be over the smallest thing too! Sooo yess! That's what the pic is about. I got a guy at work who comes over to my desk and touches things of mine (and no u dirty birdies, get your mind out of the gutter). He'll grab my coke zeros, water, muscle milk (*giggity*), pretzels,...etc! And it bothers me, but I try to sweep it under the rug and have him focus on why he's in my area.

So today I had ta sneeze, grabbed a kleenex...where is my hand sanitizer??? It's always on my desk, maybe I put it away in my cabinet. Noooo...hmmmmm. So on his desk I see it there. My eyes popped! OOoooooh helllz nah!!!!

So I grabbed it and put it back on my desk. When he came in I said, "Hey if you need to use the hand sanitizer take a squeeze but leave it at my desk". He said he thought he brought one from home, but that he didn't take mine.
.....
..........
*....blink blink....*
..........
.....
I couldn't follow up with anything after that! The only thought going through my head was OJ saying "I did not kill my wife, the knife did".

So now I gotta lock my stuff up at night. What foul rubbish! These muthafuckers are six figga niggaz! Go buy ur own shit and leave my station alone! Unless it's work related *ahem* KISS MY ASS n STAY AWAY.

Ok...I'm done venting...we all have these people in life. I'm almost tempted to bring some type of water mixed with a clear ex-lax. I'll know which bottles to stay away from, but God forbid I have a bad day and don't then the shits on me (no pun intended). The wheels are definitely spinning in my head though but it's almost like cutting people off that drive slow in the fast lane with the mentality "That'll teach'em"....These dumb fucks still get on the road and do the same shit everyday. Now this doesn't pertain to the people who drive like maniacs in the fast lane. Clearly you potential state troopers/Nascar drivers know what you're doing and as long as you don't crash and have people rubbernecking, do your thing!

Ok, I've digressed. Back to the jerk who "doesn't" steal...if anyone knows voodoo and wouldn't mind sending me a how-to guide with a doll and several pins (if push-pins aren't acceptable) I'd like to focus on this guys hands. I'm just going with the arabic practice of let the punishment fit the crime. I won't cut it...I just wanna jab it a few times. HAPPY FRIDAY ALL!

Sprained AC joint

2011-01-27T18:31:00.002-05:00

BAH! Well i went to the docs today and got my shoulder x-rayed from this weekend. Didju know that they xray you that day and 30seconds later show you the pic?!? *MAGIC*...So nothing damaged (YAY!) just got a couple patches and was told to suck it up. I should be good in two weeks he said. Two weeks of no lifting?!? That is IMPOSSIBLE!!!!! Well legs and abs are gonna love these next few days I suppose. Anywho speaking of gym I haven't seen gym since OMG a week now! I can't believe it! I feel like a sludge! Eck!

Ok I gotta write LuLu for Hawaii...tell her what's good :-)

Weekend getaway

2011-01-25T13:50:00.005-05:00

Wheeeee....this weekend I went up to McHenry, MD to meet a group of 28 guys and have good times. It was about $170 p/person, plus food and alcohol. I picked up my boi Max and we headed out there. I got me some North Face pants, a new coat and snow shoes. I looked fabulous! I didn't make it tubing the first day but that was all good cuz by the time I got there it was cold and I was ready to see the house.

The house was huge and plentiful on space. I wasn't pleased with the sleeping arrangements, but whatevs...I was there to have fun and sleep would be secondary.
Cuddled with my buddies, went tubing the next day...A LOT of pix on facebook and that was it. I loved tubing as you can see. It was megaFUN and I wanna play again.

I tore my shoulder the first day from horseplaying. Well there was an attempt to throw me in the pool, I had my iphone on me and decided to drop myself to the floor and push the guy in. He got wet and I got a dry iphone with a sore shoulder. Nooot cool, but I'm not buying another phone LOL!

I'm back at work now, sick sick sick. I'm not giving a 100% to my job right now and haven't worked out in 5 days. UghhhH! I feel gross! Oh well, gotta get better then back into the groove of things. Hurry up Friday! SAVE ME!!!!!!

Recipe for catastrophe? I think not!

2011-01-12T23:14:00.001-05:00

Sooo long day from work and a hard workout at the gym I did NOT feel like cooking. So I ordered 2 medium light cheese/sauce thin crust pies from Dominos. Open the fridge and shooooooot! I defrosted meat two days ago!!! ;,,,-(. Well I nuked the fish and ate that with steam broc. Not bad. Now for the beef and turkey patties (roughly 2.25lbs of meat) I sooo don't wanna cook these. I could mix the two together and make a meatloaf? That's cool! If it sucks, I'll dump it and won't loose feel like I'm wasting food! Sooo creating my own meatloaf recipe.

Well first we need ketchup. Ketchup is a sugar. We like sweet meatloaf. So let's also add Ginger and two tbsp of strawberry jam. Cool! Breadcrumbs. We need that. Bout a cup will do. No eggs. Hmmm cup of low fat mozzarella cheese will stick the loaf. Spices we need dry onion soup mix, and Thai chili spice (surprisingly i didn't use garlic!!!). Bake in a cold oven at 350 for an hour and a half. Let cool in oven. And serve. I thought it came out pretty tasty! I'll have my dad sample tomorrow And let u know if I was being generous. Not bad for on the fly cooking :-)

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Curse u Jack Frost!

2011-01-12T07:30:00.001-05:00

Not enough snow fall to delay work but just enough for me to take time out of my cold cold morning to shovel before it ices and race to work. If our prime contactor wasn't coming in today I'd show up in jeans!

Alkie update: I've had a shot of patron and beer so far in over 3weeks. Still surviving. I'll prolly miss Facebook more than alcohol. Yea I'm def cutting back on that. I told a friend of mine to update his status with this to commemorate binary day:

010000100110010100100000011100110111010101110010011001
010010000001110100011011110010000001100100011100100110
100101101110011010110010000001111001011011110111010101
110010001000000100111101110110011000010110110001110100

01101001011011100110010100101110

Yes I'm such a geek @_@

Ok I'm seriously procrastinating gettin outta bed. Been reading my blogs from day one to current. U know it's real cool to see how u were years ago and how things turned out. Gotta go to work.

Ridin dirty! (not south style)

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My poor baby is feelin better

2011-01-10T21:25:00.002-05:00

Poor poor lil Miss Reesie this morning was getting over a bug which caused her to shit all over her kennel and throw up with Patty (my excellent dog walker). I got home around 5ish and she's been a ball of energy (thank goodness)...gave her some rice with her food, and well I got some work I gotta do (which I'll do in bed) but I'm glad she feels better.

Cute pic of her and Rupert :-) Night all

iGot it! iGot it!!!!

2011-01-09T20:12:00.005-05:00

Happy early bday to meeeeeeeeeee! Happy early bday to meeeeeeeeeee!!!!
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Soooo my parents are buying my older massage chair from me and this puppy is going in the living room where it will get used. I have soooo many plans this year for the house. I got the bowflex in the 2nd bedroom. It looks LUVLY! I'm gonna measure the free space I have to determine If I'm getting an inflatable raised full size (54inches) aerobed or twin size (39inches). I plan on getting the bowflex db tech 1090 dumbbells as well and a spinner bike, plus tv. Ok so here's the real coolio part! The TV I plan on mounting in the LR and and 2nd MBR will basically be dumb hubs. You will need to have a device with an HDMI (or A/V) connection to go into the TV. Then you will network in to the media center and search for what you'd like to see. Ultimately all TV should be watched downstairs but if I find some workout vids or nature videos that I can spin to, then that's pure gravy. So new bowflex, new chair...awaiting purchases bowflex dumbbells, spinning bike, and aerobed (plus sheets).

The kitchen! This area I have been dragging my feet on because it will knock me down. I'd like to tackle this after Uncle Sam rapes me without lube or spit this year. Ohhh yeah...sumthin tells me I'm gonna feel the "change" this year EVEN with 3 1/2 months of unemployment. Ok but let's just say Uncle Sam doesn't leave me for dead in a ditch and I manage to have a peso or two left over, then yes I am looking at new cabinets and dishwasher. Here's the issue....i really do like my NEW fridge. It's totally awesome sauce, easy to change filter and works FANTASTIC! It's beige...*insert oooooh shit*. Yea, less n less appliances are going beige and quite frankly if I keep my kitchen white, I'd like to see stainless steel (the ones that don't leave smudges) in my kitchen. I'd sure hate to see new cabinets and a diff color dishwasher. That looks weird. I could always look hard for another beige dishwasher, but that keeps my kitchen so 1990s like...It really is the fridge and I don't wanna loose it or just chuck it downstairs. Another thought I had was paint it black and get black appliances. While Black won't ever get old, I'd have to loose the white cabinet look (which in my opinion keeps my kitchen bright) and go with a different color wood. It's really all too complicated but it's something I'd like to change.

Anywho, the bathroom may or may not happen, I still gotta save for Hawaii and the future but I'm happy to see what's coming up on the pike :-)

~ SOOOOO LONG OL FRIEND!!! ~

Wakey Wakey!

2011-01-09T09:03:00.001-05:00

Friday night wit the bois, sat night saints game wit my besties and Sunday I need some fam time. I'm gonna take a shower, hop over to starbucks and go see them. It's 20something degrees and feels like 11 (wonderful..think positive! Bugs r dead!). So bundle up! Gotta do 5miles today. Gonna break in some new shoes before doing that. Anything else? Oooo I gotta get an exercise mat and move my Bowflex upstairs. After the Bowflex I'll look for the Bowflex dumbbells and a spinner bike. Exercise room complete. All that will be needed is a full-size aerobed mattress. Too easy! Happy Sunday all :)

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Location:Roberts Ave,Annandale,United States

3 weeks sober

2011-01-08T11:25:00.003-05:00

Yayyy...this is hard but I'm doing it. This won't last forever but it's cool to know I can. I'm ready to end it since I can get back in my jeans no problem (YEssss!) but I'm saving an assload of cash coming home with money in my wallet on weekends!

I hadn't seen the boys (except Matt my workout buddy) in a minute and part of that reasoning was to avoid the player I had mentioned in previous logs. But when I hung out tonight I had these things on my mind.

1.) Have fun
2.) You're 30 and don't got time for small petty drama. Let it go...

Sooo I don't wanna be a Sammi (evil Jersey bitch) and close everyone out and be in my own world (I will miss that, cuz I do have a kickass world that I luv boxing myself into...except during the holidays, then it becomes my hell), so I met up with all, had a blast and didn't make anything awkward. Back to the alkie!

What normally would be a 3-5 servings of gray goose rose kennedy followed by some delicious McDs turned into club soda n lime and Reese's puff cereal (i <3 PB!!)
I had fun, danced and drove home with the courage to speed and be pulled over.
The guys had a blast, wish I would've had everyone over but it was daddy n puppy bonding time. We watched some tv then went to bed. She hasn't done anything to get her bed privileges with me revoked so that's good.

Reese hasn't grown in 2 months! She's reached the perfect big teddy bear height! She's calmed down a bit or at least has puppy energy now n then. She's the cutest dog in the whole world! I mean others have cute dogs, but there can only be one CUTEST! And not to brag but uhhhh yea I got her :-)
No dog park today for Reesie...snow and wet paws r not on the menu...well maybe lol! ohhhh no, I gotta go to Gainesville today n catch the Saints game. I need to find where I can get some baked wings....maybe whole foods? I'll check have a terrific weekend all! One more week till MLK! Sure am gonna miss this 3day weekends after pres day :-/

I <3 my bartenders but so does my wallet.

New Office

2011-01-06T15:34:00.006-05:00

Our company finally homed us in our office today. I yanked the corner window cubicle. The building is pretty interesting...the room is covered with hot air balloons. Oh yeah it just screms PROFESSIONALISM!

So I like the area and the view. Got my lil coke fridge setup, water stocked and some sandwich meats. I'll stock the chips and stuff later, gotta give some good facetime in the office. Sooo speakin of face the one thing that does suck here is facebook is filtered! Preposterous! How am I'm gonna get my distractions??? Stupid network engineers makin me look for a proxy! That cuts into man hours!!!

Anyways just thought I'd show off the new place...it is time to go :-)
TGI...ooooo almost F!

Luv my Keurig!

2011-01-03T14:11:00.003-05:00

Well...I'm not the easiest guy to buy for on Christmas. Honestly, make me something (I'll cherish it because you put your time, skill and thought into it) otherwise I probably have it. It just so happened this year I had a 100day break from work and hadn't spoiled myself. I have everything I could want in my eye, what more could you ask for? I may appear materialistic and like shiny things (ooooh sooooo pretty) I'm honestly at my peak of happiness being with friends & family. Enough of this sappy crap on to my cool present!

My mom knows how much I loooooove coffee and that at work we have a keurig. I didn't like the Keurig at first because of the thought of sucking down instant coffee (beans that've been cremated, I don't want them! I want them entire, full with life force!). Well at my work site I don't have a starbucks nearby so I had to make do. Ooooo Mmmmm G! I have found soooo many blends I like I'm just addicted!

So I didn't think to buy one because I love the one we have here...but I'm leaving this site soon. My mom yanked the B40 and wrapped it up. She asked if I had already gotten it, and I said no! She def scored big!

OK OK OK....Why do I like this sooo much? I'm not gonna clean a whole pot of coffee or a coffee maker just for me! It's absurd foul rubbish to think that I should have to clean a pot day after day for coffee when Starbucks is next door and for a $1.58 I can have fresh coffee, fresh 1/2 & 1/2, a disposable cup and build at the 15 mark, I get a free cup of whatever. It's sooooo simple! Why work if I don't have too? I wanna know who wants to take the time to:

******************
* Clean coffee pot, filter (and filter cone if applicable)
* Add water to coffee maker
* Place filter cone (or paper) in filter
* Add beans
* Brew
* Wait....wait...wait....
* Poor in cup
* Add 1/2 & 1/2
* Throw out leftover coffee
* Enjoy
******REPEAT******

Would you rather do the above DAILY or spend $1.58? Apply this theory to 7-11 coffee as well and if the answer is do the above, how much time do you have on you?

Well my cost and time got cut down! 66cents a cup plus save time on the line and traveling to starbucks:

******************
* Fill water reservoir (if necessary)
* Power on (allows water to brew)
* Add K-cup to Keurig
* Brew
* Wait 42seconds
* Poor in cup
* Add 1/2 & 1/2
* Throw away K-cup
* Enjoy
******REPEAT******

That's it! No cleaning! No mess! Just keep 1/2 & 1/2 and K-cups in stock. Easy sleezy, can do! I love it! I'd like to go to BJs and get the K-cup holder and the bulk Caribou blend but I'm gonna wait on my buddy Matt to take me there.

Happy new year! The change

2011-01-02T12:35:00.008-05:00

Ok well not so much the change...i don't like new years resolutions. My friend Eric said it best: You don't need a new year to try and improve yourself. You should be doing that 365days throughout the year, then see where you're at next year. You'll love the progress u see!

So keeping up with the gym and upping my cardio. I ran a marathon on a treadmill last year but since then my running has turned to poo...gotta step that up again. This year I will try and focus more on the house. Right now I have an empty bedroom that will serve one of three things:

1.) A home gym :-)

2.) A bedroom :)

3.) Both! :-) :-)
+

I'm going to price out a bedroom set today and see what they go for. One thing that crossed my mind is that I have an armour upstairs not being used and a night stand already in the bedroom. I can move those both in the bedroom incase I ever have a guest that needs drawer space. To FULL size closets can accomodate any guest that stays for a few days. So here's the skinny...a new BR set will probably cost about mmmm...4k? Bedframe, new mattress (no not a cheapy), dresser and nightstand. Or I can get the bowflex revolution xp, bowflex dumbbells, spinner bike, new tv small LCD on the wall and an aerobed incase company comes (full size) and some fullsize sheets.

I like not dedicating a bedroom as a bedroom. So what happens when the day mister right does come along and we happen to move in together? Then I will have to get a good portable AC or fan unit in my loft and move my home gym up there. I really should get a good portable AC or fan unit now for when summer comes. That is the plan for now, kitchen may come later this year, I still have to do some savings.

I may re-fi the house. I have no intentions on moving and like this place...it's grown on me :) Hafta wait for rates to be back down to 4-4.25 (tops). Have a good one guys and yea I will try n do better this year wit the bloggy blog. 08 was a gr8 blog year, imma pick it back up!!!!

2010 wrap up

2010-12-31T16:30:00.003-05:00

What a year what a year...adios 2010! So what happened? A love obsession, snow storms, new jobs, new puppy, and finally acceptance into the kingdom of 30s.

Cut the cord with Vega aka fuckwad back in August....heard from him once since then and it wasn't a 'hey, how r u' so I hammered the last nail to that coffin politely with a lose my number and "fuck you". That piece of history can stay with 09-10...and thank goodness that feeling won't linger around. So lesson learned in 2010...I can unlove someone! IT AIN'T EVER EASY, but it was done and the feeling is awesome to re-gain what I gave away. Of course since I've regained my heart I haven't been looking to be vulnerable with someone else, so in time we'll see what happens. Marlon and I had a storm back in Feb and got back in contact after August or September (i think Sept). We're better people and I try my best to keep my distance. It will get better in time (en shalla!)

Snow storms - OMG! Stuck in the house DEC2K9 and Feb 10 two times. Incredible! Well the last time VA had it bad like that was in 96. I doubt we will have snowy winters back to back, but this one has been pretty cold (specially since we just starting out). Got me a snow shovel from last year and miss my sis aka other shoveler but so far this year we are good!

New jobs - I left the pentagon to go to crystal city as an engineer. I wanted to work closer to fuckwad. The job was fun at first cause I was in jeans and polo, and didn't have anything to do the first couple months but pend clearance...wheee! break for mike! small cut in pay but I was doin my thing, walkin around crystal city and catching some rays. Kept up with the gym and my workout buddy Matt around noon. Things weren't happening between me and fuckwad. I was just a fuck buddy but didn't wanna own it...pride blinded me, but in the end that's what I was. An object that I never wanted to be...hurt because I loved him, I crashed. So work was on a downward slope. I didn't care for the job after I got clearance and didn't want to stay in crystal city. I got me a new puppy --> (we'll go back to this soon)

New puppy - Reese! Born 6JUN2010. She's a doll and for the most part is a great dog. She's not a chewer or barker (that much). She's daddy's lil angel/monster. I got her on the 7th of August. I sold my four plex, got some cash and quit Mantech to be with Reese for her first months. During that time she grew up and I got to be with her for 3 1/2 months.

Unemployed - Yes even with the unemployment rate circling near 10% I wanted a break...a real break! So after my boss at Mantech sent me a very disturbing email I quit on the spot! and left my badges there. I blew crystal city a kiss and got the hell outta dodge. That was when I cut ties with EVERYTHING (job and fuckwad) in crystal city and chucked the deuce. I studied Exchange 2k10 (and gotta keep studying it), landed a new gig -->

New jobs (cont) - After Reese hit 5 months it was time to get back to work. Had something with Belvoir (DITRA) that sounded right up my avenue but they got a hiring freeze. Interviewed well with CACI to go to Iraq/Afghan...almost made it to SME on Messaging but was 6months shy of 12years experience. What a retarded hiring manager!!!! Well his mistake was my blessing cause dirty got a KICKASS job at belvoir (DLA) 5miles away from home and paying very nicely (2 snaps *work biatch!*).
Our PM demotivates everyone in our office and I'm hoping they replace her before everyone walks out. My architect and I will hang out there cause bread is bread.

30s - So with the new pup and gig I look at everything in my house and I'm totally happy with the way my house looks, what I drive (she's in the shop now...her alternator went kaput!) and I guess my material possessions. 30s will be about enjoying what I got and saving a lil more for the future. I look at what I just wrote down and smile...I see this red carpet with a BIG [3|0] door entrance and I got a big grin because I'm ready! I did my passage in the 20s of having crap furniture, plastic drawers, clothes that I could afford, the ARMY and am now in this awesome spot...I'm on the red carpet walking closer to those doors and I'm sooo ready! I made my goal in HS to be this 6-figga ni**a without a degree and I did it through the power of certifications and continuing education. Maybe when I'm walking on the red carpet to the [4|0] I'll have someone escorting me :-) time will tell...till then I'll dance my way to the doors keep my shades on and lookin fly

Happy new year everyone! Adios 2010! BRING IT 2011!!!

Minus attraction to friendship

2010-12-24T00:45:00.001-05:00

Does anyone know how to do this? I've burned people out of my life that I was intimate with because I did not know how to make them "friends". Do I need someone else? I mean if u are genuinely and sexually attracted to them how do u make them friends rather than hate them and burn bridges? I got this situation yet again and don't want it to end up like the last two but it seems like running away is the easy answer to spare my feelings. Help!

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What do I want for Xmas?

2010-12-13T08:22:00.003-05:00

Well it hit my heart but I got it! Every year it's the same old "don't get me anything, I got everything I need" and I tend to get nice gifts for my best friends whom I love to death and little things for my family.

This year I didn't even set up my tree...i luv xmas and the music but just felt like a scrooge not getting anyone anything. I'm not having my *moment*...then it hit me!

I got this brand new TV from Target and although it would be great to make $100 off of it, it would feel even better giving it to someone who needs it. Not as in wants another TV but someone or a family struggling.

I wanted to go to an orphanage and give the TV with gifts...I don't see too many out here in the VA area, so why not make it special for a family. So what family could I help out this Christmas? I'd have to go to a couple churches and ask around. Wouldn't it be cool if there was a xmas tree and you could just pick a family's name out of the hat? You'd have the number of kids and their ages.

The gifts to the parents would be the smiling faces of their children. So that's the plan this year...I don't wanna make a donation to some big wigs that'll just plummet my mailbox with nickels, dimes and addresses (boy have I learned)..I'm gonna turn my donations into something special and untraceable lol!

That is what I want for Christmas! I'll let you guys know when I find out who my family is and their kids. I'll facebook it too incase I got any philanthropist amigos that wanna give a toy or something.

Got rid of my Grindr app today...starting the anti-social network. Limiting facebook and my iPhone gives me the shivers. K gotta work...Bye! :)

An anti-social network

2010-12-12T16:00:00.003-05:00

This upcoming year in my 30s I will let go of my social networking with the exception of GoogleIM and blogging. IM has been around since I was in HS (AIM) so thats not why I'm cool with that. Facebook I will use for events only...i wont penalize those who will keep up with facebook but compromise. Photos I will upload on my blog.

taking away the 'i' and focusing on me will be interesting. Now my iPhone... i will continue to use unless it proves to be inconvenient. I can always pull the sim out and use my old AT&T phone. No biggie.

Ok still excited about turning 30 and where I'm at :)

My FAV holiday is approaching

2010-11-23T20:05:00.001-05:00

Halloween use to be my Fav holiday and it will always be up there as far as fantasy and imagination goes but recalling the year and what I have to be thankful for puts Thanksgiving at numero uno! First off my family is doing well. My lil sis married her marine, I got Reese in my life and my parents are healthy and continuously improving their house. My best friends got a lil puppy and have been improving their home as well. I got a job over the holidays that pays great and doesn't call for much travel which allows me to be with my baby Reese. I just recently blogged about turning 30 so that also trickles through my head about where my life is and where it's going. Do I feel lonesome over the holidays? It happens..but before Reese their was a strong presence. I luv coming home to her and getting my hugs and kisses :). And I also have a great group of friends (drama and drama-free) that I wouldn't change for the world. Life is in a good spot right now and rather than focus on what I don't have I will reflect this year on those I do have and enjoy their company. Tempus fugit!

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Location:Medinah Ln,Alexandria,United States

a loooooong day one

2010-11-22T22:50:00.003-05:00

Wow...i'm sooo not use to waking up at 615. Even the sun thought that was too early. I gave Reese attention and then prepped for Bowie, MD. Thanks Gawd I only have to do that trip once in a blue moon. I hate traffic! I spent the whole morning doing paperwork and the rest of the afternoon sitting around waiting on a laptop and more paperwork. Then traffic....oh yea...fun fun fun!

Made it home, got Reese a dog walker and her appt to get spayed. Tomorrow I'll setup the maids to come back. I'm sooo exhausted and can't wait for turkey weekend :-)

The pre-30's have begun

2010-11-21T17:05:00.004-05:00

Well last night I had a blast meeting the guys out at the old EFN place, getting hooked up on drinks and hosting a small after gathering at my place. I really do luv having small crowds at my place. It really feels like home having those close to me be in my house. It's funny how I always thought I would hafta beg obnoxitonians to come over but when your got friends that are just cool cool, we got southern VA and MD folks that just come over. That's wassup! i luv my family of friends.

So this morning I did my last late wakeup (at least till Thurs..got a job! We'll get into that) and had four people over. I made breakfast and we all had some good convo. Bdays came up and we got a LOT of cancer babies in our small group...I'm turning 30! Not to be narcissistic but I LOOK great for someone turning 30! I'm not at the halfway hump of 29 yet but looking in the mirror and thinking of some of the guys I know in their 30s I welcome giving 30 the hot sexy 25 look it deserves!

Ok so looking back at my 20s I reflect on the army (joined at 19) and how the only good..i'm sorry BEST thing to come out of that mistake is my long lasting continuing 10year friendship with my bff Chris and his wife Tiffany aka my family. If I had to go through that f'n hell all over again, I would do it just cause they are worth it. I got my first fourplex out of it too when I turned 20. The commander would not sign off on me owning property because I was so young and what would I know about managing properties. The bank did not want to proceed without having that letter. IDK where I got my business savvy mind but I told them that if they did NOT process that loan, another bank would. I refuse to let someone in the army dictate my financial situation. Got the loan, and the closed. The commander did not want to give me BAQ to live off-post so I maintained a room in the barracks. One day someone was living in MY space though! Ohhhh HELLLZ nah! I may not live there, but that room is MINE unless you gimme my money. Got back paid two months BAQ! So that was my first property and of course being me not caring what the commander or army thought. Mike does Mike. Period.

So the army days lasted till OCT 2004. After that I took a holiday and got my MCSE! I moved in with my besties (for like 6mos) and bought another 4plex (sold the other one in 2003. What a dump!). This 4plex was beautiful and right off the golf course! Was a real cash cow even till the end (netting 16 off of it). I moved to Kuwait in 2005-2007DEC. I loved being in the desert. This was the first time I got to be a six figga n***a! I was rocking my HS Diploma and showing myself and the world what you can do. I achieved my goal a year early of earning that money by 25. I did it. Good feeling of accomplishment. That's years 24-26.

26-Present I would say focuses on myself coming out of the closet. This was very difficult for me to do. I always wanted the wife, picket fence, and kids (especially to play with my BFFs kids). That wasn't in God's plan though and I threw the towel in. I was tired of never having a relationship and being 26. I wanted to know what love was and have someone else love me. So I've been knocked down and got up and fell down again. Patience is something that will develop with age I suppose. I fell in love with my hero (Marlon) and a heartbreaker who lied to me (Darrell). I have my walls up, I date now but find it hard to be vulnerable just cause I hate the PAIN that comes with love. I seriously do want my prince charming but in time that will come. I have a great group of friends and love that my BFFs live only 40mins away. Some friends have disappeared or just plain nix'ed having me as a friend (PS-And i frankly dont give a f***).

Maybe 30 will be the best decade of my life! But to sum up what's going on now, I'm 29, have a terrific dog that I love and she loves me and a new job! I am a Microsoft Engineer! F'n did it! To all those who want to shine and excel in life here's a tip. It's not the piece of paper that you hang on a wall.
...
....it's that CPU in-between your EARS!

Tomorrow is my first day on the job! I will be re-hiring my maids and getting a dog walking service for lil miss Reese. Gym will have to be done around 8pm. Pre-30s are great! Bring it on June!

Stocks & Options

2010-10-17T22:39:00.002-04:00

Watching the skins right now (one TD behind..they can do it) and am looking at stocks. Took an investors course this weekend and liked it a lot. I'm really gonna make this work. Soon I will be done working for others and be a millionaire by 35. Remember this blog, because it's gonna happen! I head to NYC tomorrow to take the basic options course. Ummm yay! That is AWESOME :-)

I was overwhelmed by what I learned but wanted my pops and I learned that I had to call Marlon up and tell him everything. The entrepreneur in him was so into it. That's def one thing we share in common. We don't wanna work for people anymore. Make money on your own. It can happen if you want it to happen. Although yesterday was a great day my twisted mind & heart were trying not to think about someone's bday. I don't care, or miss him...matter of fact if he deployed to afghanistan, took a bullet to his head and came back home a hero..I'd respect him a little more.
*wooooooooooooooo-saaaaaaaaaaah*...but I'm glad that day is done with. I have such a great memory for bdays...I remember this crush I had on a girl at what....5th grade? Marlena Porter...June 18th LOL! Yessss I know, so weird...I should facebook her! I wonder if she married or what she looks like...BRB...

....

HAHA! Wow...found her. Shot her (def her...her sis was on her page). I mean that's not weird, right? If she writes me back I'll stay in touch with her...wow thanks a lot Zuckerberg!

Alight gotta finish watching the game. I haven't stayed in contact with the recent ex...hope he's doing well though. I should plan something with him if he's down

pop Post numero 200!

2010-10-13T11:49:00.003-04:00

Ahhhh the blog...what's on my mind right now? Well close to my house there is someone enjoying some annoying base music. I'd close the window but it feels nice outside. Damn car....can't it just explode or something? No...then the firetruck and ambulance would come over...no peace or quiet there either. Guess the best I can hope for is a dead battery. Speaking of batteries my car needs a new:
1.) Battery ($150 @/Advanced Auto Parts; $225 installed at the dealer)
2.) 4-new glow plugs (it's a diesel thing...joy! $525 and no it's not as easy as changing a spark plug...these bastards aren't lined up and need some equipment to read it's voltage or something)
3.) Airbag harness needs to be replaced $385. Wheeee! Sounds great, no?

So I'm still keeping this baby...I'm hoping that replacing the harness will fix my sunroof problem (she closes when she's ready to close...not gonna get into that one).

Job market is actually tough. I got bites from different areas in the US but not much over here. I'm tempted to send out my old resume showing me current at work, just to get some bites. I'll let this week slide before doing that. Not in the poor house just yet, but would like to find something that piques my interest.

Thought of the day: Motivation

Something we can not see....it's a feeling that we generate and obtain or lose in time. I can't seem to find mine today. So to sike myself out, I'm gonna get outta bed, take that shower, hit starbucks up and do something outside. Motivation is a mental state. We can do nothing about it when it is gone or we can kick ourselves in the ass and get going. You don't need others to kickstart you. Do you! So when you lose your motivation, what do you do?

Vodka: Fast acting mental relief

2010-10-08T04:33:00.002-04:00

Thank-you gray goose....Thank you. Does the blog really need to go on to explain how the relief of having this wonderful liquor in your system seems to help you realize how petty shit is in the long run? iLuv it and will continue to have it in my system until court-ordered not to, or I meet my maker. In anycase before I throw this lil house party, I met up wit the peeps at happy hour in good spirits. It was great, met a guy (Grenade) and well ummm yeah let's just say I'm looking forward to tomorrow night. Hope everything goes well.

It's 436am...not booty calls...time for bed ;-) ~nIghT world

Weekend Update

2010-10-03T21:27:00.002-04:00

What to say what to say...ok well last Monday I became more proactive in the job hunt. I have something that may come to me this week...fingers crossed. It would get my clearance upgraded.

I broke things off with Jachai. He's a great guy, real sweetheart and caring individual...add thoughtful to that. Just didn't feel the *spark*. We'll maintain a good friendship (en shalla). He's doing well....saw him makin out wit sum guy at Cobalt's so that's great! Now I don't feel like a jerk ^_^

Lately I've been getting headaches and have upped my water count but not sure why they are coming so often. What good things happened this weekend...Family time was great! My mom, pops and I went to Red Lobster to engorge in the all-u-can-eat-shrimp extraveganza. It was very filling and the company was awesome.

Im pretty tired so I'll blog more later on...hope everyone else's weekend was great :-)

TGIF & Happy Fiscal Year!!!

2010-10-01T08:48:00.003-04:00

Oct 1st! My fav holiday growing up was Halloween. The spookiness...the CANDY!!! Haunted houses or mazes! FUN FUN FUN! N e who I still love this time of year...i left the windows down last night and got a nice breeze. I luv the feeling of a cool breeze while snuggled underneath blankets :-)....Hot cocoa would be the icing on the cake this morning.

Ok so today I'm gonna find out what jobs are available now that we hit 1OCT...tell Lockheed to get up off their ass and send me an offer (I'll fill u guys in on that later). Today is chest day! Wahoo! My fav muscle group! Anything else planned? Not sure...might hit sunflower up after the workout. Gotta give Reese her meds this morning and tomorrow she has her rabies shot! YESSSS! After she gets that I'm gonna socialize her at dog parks. Training is going well, but could be better. I'm gonna take her to Petsmart on Saturdays for puppy training. She's growing so fast!

TGIF ALL! ~c!a0

Miss the gym two weekdays in a row? I think not!

2010-09-29T17:10:00.002-04:00

So Monday Matt and I had an f'n killer arms workout...like OMG they still hurt TODAY! Good stuff! He wuss'd out tuesday cuz of his job (pfft! I know, right?) which I didn't mind cause I was suckin n e ways. Today I had ta text out for lunch...I coulda made it but was totally drawn to the 1994 Frankenstein movie which wasn't really a thriller...more like a drama. So went to the gym at 330...saw this hawt NYRican that i usually see there at lunch ~*drool*~ CALL ME! And busted out some back and ABS. Killed my back and did ok on the abs...will do more manana. Now I got my 30g protein shake and margaritas on my mind :-)

Put out my resume to this guy looking to hire OCONUS. Vincenza, Italy! Ooooh la la! I know! I gotta beef up on my italian! Maybe an episode of family will help me out ;-)
The caveat to me leaving is that Reese must come to! It's high time lil miss thing gets her international knowledge on! If they say no, then I'll hafta stay local to DC (*Rubbish*).

If I left I would keep my house...it'd be a 2k storage unit, but I'm not comfortable renting it out. I'm soooo territorial it's like not even funny! My dad would use it as his hangout spot (if I keep the internet on). He much like myself and everyone else luv the basement area. It's like sooo OMG awesome and gamey! I don't know when the next houseparty is, but I'll def need to plan that out....maybe a friday night? Or maybe after I get working again....I'm not too pressed about the money situation just yet. I just miss shit coming in the bank @_@

Okie dokes...time ta get the house ready for a new episode of....SURVIVOR! :-)

I'm back

2010-09-28T22:47:00.007-04:00

and I've got things to say! First off 2010...where did time go? The last days of my 20s are slipping away but what has gone on this past year...the good, the bad and the ugly. Let's start with family as they are sooo damn close to my heart.

Dad - Easiest update...he's happy with life and getting more and more gray hairs. He still has all his hair and so did my grandfather on my mom's side...YES!!!! This is good news here (*pats that weave*)

Mom- She's going through a tuff battle with her fibromyalgia which causes her cronic pain and depression. I really hope that she can find the panacea for this epidemic or something that can ease her pain and mind. Hope to update some good news on Mom :-)

Jackie- The chick got married! :-o I KNOW! Right? She did it! She got married the day after my parents anniversary (horray...yet another June celebration) and moved to Hawaii with her marine, Garrett. They're happy over there...her cat is with my parents until the end of October and I think Jax is sooo excited to get her lil kitty cat back

Reese- Yes! Newwwwwww Members! Reese was born on 6/6/2010. She is an ADORABLE
cockapoo...Awwwww! I know! Daddy luvs you!!!! Ok ok so we've been together now...umm a few months now. She's a fast learner and of course a diva. She doesn't like to follow orders unless there's food involved so she's gonna take a puppy training course soon (and I'll blog about that).
She can already: Sit, Shake, Lie down, Give hi-5s, and we're working on rollover.

~*MoI*~ Let's start with something positive. I have a boyfriend. I know! When have I ever blogged that before? He's a great guy, very thoughtful and nice. I have some worries/fears about this relationship...mostly the *spark* factor. I went through so much heartache with Marlon and Darrell (<-- Liar! Manipulator! Cold!...Bravo! You got me u sick fuck! This punk ass bitch juggles me wit his man! Wow....wow! So glad his man left his dumbass...and he got robbed! Ain't karma a BEYOTCH!)...but I digress so much heartache that I built up walls. I'm not trying to be vulnerable and this may bite me. Ok so that if you can go back to the 2nd sentence is the good news.

I quit my gig the 12th of August. Enough was enough...I took a systems engineering job with Mantech and documented shit for the 5months I was there...How fuckin annoying is it to accept a cool job and not do it? I know! Thanks ITT for the $$$ and my family for showing me how to save. I'm gonna try and start work the beginning of October and hopefully get an SCI out of it. The big goal is to work with my old boss who fuckin rocks, Eric Stevenson back in the world of exchange (only) but I need an SCI first. So no work, but no worries...the bills are paid and if anything I depleting my sister's inheritence if anything should happen to me (sorry! lol!)

I closed the doors on Marlon in Jan or Feb and recently opened the doors. I'm gonna try and keep it the way things use to be. Y dirty? Y? Well I've lost enough close people to my heart that I didn't wanna shun him out. Dirty Dick Darrell put a blackhole in my heart (I see his name and feel anger. If he fuckin died or just fell off this gawd dayum Earth right now there would be more oxygen for me to breathe), Cameron cut me after that FAB-U-LOUS trip to Toronto...I got a Linked in invitation from him today and was like...hmmm...are we opening communications?

Generic Subject line read: Cameron Hernandez wants to stay in touch on LinkedIn
So I wrote back saying:
Nope...u know how to stay in touch

He wrote back saying that all his gmail contacts got that message and sorry for the annoyance. I almost wrote back cause I miss him like a brother but Oh well...I too can cut ni99as like barbers cut hair...it's just harder to let go when they're more than 'just a friend'...his choice, not mine..Thank goodness I got Chris & Tiff still in my life...that 10year friendship is solid!...and moving on! lol!...let's see...something positive...something positive...Weight training! Yes!

Been hitting the gym hard wit my boi Matt! We got a great routine going and hopefully this next summer aka Dirty's 30 (oooof!) I'll be takin dem pix..lookin all fly n shyt...imma be spreadin my wings (do it do it!) OOOkkkkk!. Arms - Monday / Back - Tuesday / Abs - Wednesday /Legs - Thursday / Chest - Friday. Also after watching Food Inc, I'm more cognitive about what I eat.
I try and buy local and for meats will buy from a farmers market or whole foods. When I asked Harris Teeter where they bought there meat they said "North Carolina"...ooook...I need more info than that...what ranch do you guys buy ur meet from? Are the cows fed grass or corn? They coward down to the already sliced organic meat...two choices of meat..F! Harris Teeter! F! F! F!

So yeah I will be slowly moving the grocery list to whole foods eventually. Eating rights costs a lot of f'n cash! I might as well just have Sunflower cater for me! :-) hmmmmm.....lol!

Last negative to put out for 2010...the finale to Lost sucked! WTF?!?! We all called that shyt 4-5 seasons ago! Purgatory! Bah!

Ok this was a long post...had a lot to say and it's getting late. this blog will be updated! Dirty's back! And he's got sum jibber-jabber that needs to be said dammit!

Like why do my facebook friends feel the need to spread religion?
What chemical in HFCS makes it the worse sugar ever?
Is alcohol or more so a bar a great place to seek salvation?
Will I move to NYC?

you gotta go through the weeds to get to the trees

2010-07-03T15:08:00.002-04:00

Blah....Ok so today is gonna be a good day. My sis is having her wedding reception and even though I'm grateful to be here, I'm havin an L.Boogie moment (where you might win some but you just lost one).

I'd say one of my biggest challenges in life is dealing with my emotions without medication. I'm a mess...truly am. I don't know how to maintain relationships. I'm freakin lost. All I know is that I got two of my best friends living in Gainesville and they are my redwood trees as our friendship will do nothing but grow and grow. Maybe I need to ask them how we manifested and what keeps us together.

Couple days ago I went up to Canada wit my boi Tuffie. Had a great day n 1/2 there then something happened. He had to go back but couldn't really explain it to me. I see him SMS'n back and forth and come up with my own conclusion that something wasn't right at home and that issue had to be dealt with. A plether of thoughts came rolling in my head. How can he leave manana? I sacrificed my sister's reception for this? What the hell is going on here? Am I gettin dissed again? FFFFFFF! So I tried hitting the gym cause that seems to work....nuh uh.

Tried drinking and burning a fag. Nope! Finally I met up with another friend there and vented. I felt better but didn't know what to say. He wasn't saying anything to me, nor I to him. I finally spoke up in the car and asked if it was life & death why we were heading back. Medication. Ok...so if we had communicated this yesterday we both probably wouldn't be in an ignore status. Fair enough, our friendship is strong enough to handle this...*ahem* wrong! We didn't have a friendship tree...we had a weed that just died. Ended up gettin the email that HALAS! The road to friendship ends here. Wow...I thought we were having like a sibling rivalry where eventually we get over it and move on. I mean hell this two day trip was like a grand, but idgf it was wit my boi. Nevertheless it is what it is.

I'm disappointed by it, but it's not the end of the world. I grew up with little to no friends so this is not unfamiliar territory. Thanks for introducing and showing me DC. Thanks for laughing at the things I said even when they weren't all funny. Thanks for letting me crash when it was too late for me to drive. Thanks for caring for my drunk ass when I didn't know when to leave. And mostly, Thanks for being a part of my life. Gone but not forgotten babes, we move forward.

Besos Tuffie ~ mikey

2k9 wrap-up

2009-12-13T02:21:00.004-05:00

....And we're back! We'll call that a hibernation.

I know the year is not over with but I couldn't help and check out last years resolutions and how I fared. Honestly a lot of them slipped my mind but seem like good resolutions. Such is life to plan for good intentions and lose focus on the way.

Well let's see since July my hellish work has got better. I don't like the way things are ran there, but I do have flexible hours (because yeah we work weekends). I met someone...cool guy, mature, awesome in the bed, and likes me. We moved too fast so we've cool'd down. It's been cooooool'd down to friends with benefits. I like him a lot BUT when we talked he said the one thing he couldn't do is let me in his family life. So if I were to pursue this it would be for just him...No dad, mom or son. So being friends is a good thing. The expectations are just that; be cool, chill and have fun. Thanksgiving was spent at my mom's place as usual but we had one member not with us. I really really miss my grandma. I see her in my dreams and when I wake up I have no idea what we were talking about but I smile because I saw her. So that was tough this year, but at the table we focus on the things we are grateful for. And most recently my house has a neeeeeeeeeeeew member; Jordan.

Jordan is a Maltese that I rescued from the Arlington Shelter. He's a year and four months and a good pup. I can tell you waking up in the morning and NOT hitting the snooze alarm several times was almost like having a real baby. I'm sooo tired right now! LOL! *sips dunkin coffee*

That is all right now...I haven't heard or really talked to Marlon since I got this gig. Phoned him when I was in LA seein my grandma for her bday but he was in FL. It's cool how time does heel all wounds but time never goes fast enough...yet when you look in the mirror you can't help but think sometimes- Shit!!! Where the hell has time gone?!? Alright I'm real tired...short workday though! Later

Be easy....

2009-07-04T12:26:00.005-04:00

Hey everyone, Happy 4th of July! I had a blast with my sister watching the fireworks last night at this country club called belle haven. Rich snobs there, no sugar daddies lookin tho (tee hee). Our fireworks started before National Harbor's and lasted well afterwards (Booyah! LOL! Yeah I'm bringin that word back).

I'm gonna stay in tonight and watch Team America: World Police (America....Fuck Yeah!). I got a new gym membership yesterday at XSport Fitness so if i c u gym bunnies or u c me there, feel free to tap my shoulder, spot or say wasssup.

Cool cool...aight everyone be easy...this is my last blog entry. I'm drawing more and more away from reality which isn't cool. Ive been layin low on facebook (better than before). My J-O-B (not my career) sucks, but there is a person in there who works with contracts and bidding. So I registered my SSN to MS Enterprise (Nice...nice, right?) and I'm gonna learn what it takes to bid on these contracts. I'll have to keep everything local for now or stay find a night gig so that I am available during daytime hours. A night gig would pay for a business pad and expenses. Well I'll hafta stay at this current evil job to learn what this guy knows and hopefully he can help me grow myself and if I can return the favor for him I def will. Alright guys. Be safe, live, love and enjoy and remember:

Good Family
Good Friends
Good Times

..I'm out!

The old me's dead n gone....dead n gone

2009-06-20T08:40:00.003-04:00

I lost that fight, but not that war I still see my nicca walkin out tha door. Don't turn ur head walk away, I'll be back up on my feet some day. Play with my emotions? My nicca that's trife. Go on get the hell on walk out my life! Ooooo I've been waitin for this day soo long. Findin out where we belong. Never knew YOU could be so wrong....now the old me's dead n gone...dead n gone.

Aight I'm gonna blog about this and then move forward. I took myself off of facebook cause I did not know how to address my feelings towards this guy I liked. I figured if I ignored him on here he wouldn't pop up in my profile thus not havin me think about him. But damn you new facebook (ummm yeah I'm still considerin it new) ur stoopid HIGHLIGHTS section should reflect who I ignore.

I don't like not having control over my emotions. I felt like I was a stalker or obsessed so I was like fuck this i'll close my page down and will deal with this situation. When I'm calm cool and collective. So around midnight I get a text from him and I may have had a drink or 6 (but who counts?). So after we were both like ok...love you on SMS I was like go for it. So I owned that I liked him more than a friend and that I think he knows that and like to know if he wanted somethin more or just leave things where they are at.

What could be worse than hearing no? Not hearing a GAWD DAYUM MOTHERFUCKIN THING AT ALL. Now one of my bois who has a real good head on his shoulders said that a week is not long enuf, you probably scared him...think of what he's goin through and how you'd feel. Let him process this. I understand that, but to not have contact or say let's talk later. I mean fuck...anything is better than nothing. A polite No would've been better. But nada. So after day 3 I was crushed that someone I felt so close to as a friend would just let me slip like that, especially him knowing how sensitive I am towards my feelings. (and if u're reading this, you know it)

So I picked myself up...dusted my shoulders, burned a candle and cut my hair. Whatever we had just wasn't their. One day I will learn the value and loyalty of being a friend. I find the masochist approach I have damaging yet not discomforting since I grew up with little to no friends. I'm not gonna say it feels good to cut people out of my life. Toss them aside like rubbish. It doesn't....but I'm done and most likely won't look back. So now it's out there.

On another note my facebook family I have cut off all notifications on here. So don't you feel ignored if I don't get back at you right away. My work loves making me work and we all know how that fuckin excites princess! NOT! Fairy tells shouldn't have 7-4 jobs. lol! It's going ok...i like the team that I got. I couldn't freakin make it in that place without Kristina (seriously! she took a sick day and I was ready to throw the towel in). Ooooh it's raining...*iLuv hearin the rain tap on the roof*. I got a new Dining Room set! Last night Cam, Gary and I went to a furniture store before watchin the proposal (Sandra bullock and Betty White...need i say more???). Walked into a 30% off sale and asked them if the cortona table and chairs were on sale. She said yes. OMG Princess! Put ur AMEX away!!! Show some fuckin discipline! 12months interest free you say??? "Tucks AMEX back in wallet"...let's see what we can work out. So my birthday present to me is my brand new dining room set. Yaaaay! Delivery is next friday. Can't wait!!!!=) *smooches all**

DirTyS JibBer JaBbeR....

At firestone waiting on my ride

CaliForNia <3'n

Week 4

Happy New Year

Week 3 @ 160!

Ending week two

Need a new ProTeiN shake, lilke STAT!

Week one done

Pix

Has it really been a whole month?

Tough Mudder, Wintergreen Resort, VA - 23OCT2011

In a blogging mood

Pack yo shyt n go!

wow it's been a min blog!

Big Easy Weekend - Soldier knows

Pre-Big Easy weekend

A truckload of money for free!

Fairfax Pride @ V5

And we're back

Ugh....get through this hump!

Budgeting uck! (and other stuff on my mind)

Weekend Update

Idiocrisy in America continues

Fool me once, shame on me...what is this now; 5

How ta save a life

New leaf...or new shell

***CODE RED!!! CODE RED!!!***

Opening doors

30-Dome

The BIG 30

Less than 24hours

w00t! THat'S my puzzle piece!

Here I am, once again

I wanna blog something so bad

Rehoboth Bound

Find strength in yourself, Not others

Another one bites the dust

CinCo de MaYo

TGIF!

Shame on you Google!

Friday! w00t!

Weekend

Interesting...Calling all recruits! Doodle-iT!

Body update

Vegan Rant

Monday monday...(update Tuesday)

Ugh...not the remedy

All done with meds

Body Update

No family Sunday! :-|

think i need a new scale

Adios 150s?

Needs a hug

Je t'adore Mammie!

Mmmm tilapia!

BodyUpdate: Zantrex-3

Father App I have sinned

Progress report

Caffeine free coke zero you say?

Pass on pasta?

Calling alll cut gym buffs!

Lazy Sundays

Jersey Shore

Getting cut up

It's 2011 Sharepoint...why are we not mobile friendly?

can not believe its only tuesday

Find that inner strength

Personal Rant: May the chips fall where they fall

ahhhh where to jib n jab today

Finally got my answer...Winter trumps Summer

A clean getaway

Sprained AC joint

Weekend getaway

Recipe for catastrophe? I think not!

Curse u Jack Frost!

My poor baby is feelin better

iGot it! iGot it!!!!

Wakey Wakey!

3 weeks sober

CODE RED!!! CODE RED!!!

pop Post numero 200!